Read pages from the “Steel Magnolias” script to get a dose of the witty and tear-jerking chatter, including some familiar one-liners. Can you spot them?
page 20
OUISER
Thomas Drummond Eatenton! Did you get these magnolias off my tree?
DRUM
(more concerned with his missing gun)
The judge hasn't decided who exactly owns that tree.
OUISER
I don't need a judge to tell me what's mine!
Drum ignores her and Ouiser storms off.
INT. TRUVY'S BEAUTY SHOP - DAY
There's a Memorex Party Cube on the counter--Shelby's put her Iphone in it, it's playing her music. Shelby has brought a picture from a bridal magazine and Truvy is busy matching Shelby's hair to the picture, while Shelby picks over a basket of nail polish, trying to decide. Annelle is working on Clairee, who doesn't make it easy as she bends her head to write in a little notebook. M'Lynn is waiting around with wet hair and texting on her cell phone. The initial conversations criss-cross, the women have no trouble following the threads--and the conversation moves quickly, they override each other, don't pause.
CLAIREE
(writing, to Truvy)
Where's the other one you were talking about....Cuppa, cuppa, cuppa?
SHELBY
(holding up a bottle)
This one's kinda mauve, don't you think?
TRUVY
(to Clairee)
Cup of flour, cup of sugar, cup of fruit cocktail with the juice. Mix and bake at 350 'til gold and bubbly.
(looking at the polish)
What are your colors, honey?
SHELBY
Blush and bashful.
page 52
M'LYNN
(to Clairee)
I saw your niece Sally Beth was Miss Merry Christmas again this year. And next, I'm betting.
TRUVY
She'll wear that tiara to her grave. I used so much hairspray on her, she'll have to dynamite it off her head.
CLAIREE
Sally Beth is a pretty girl. Beauty is genetic in my family.
OUISER
Empty is the head that wears the crown.
She goes into the bathroom, leaving the door slightly open as she pees--
TRUVY
I entered Miss Diary Queen my senior year. The swimsuit competition was my downfall. Lift and separate doesn't work for me. I need divide and conquer.
ANNELLE
Who got the title your year, Miss Clairee?
CLAIREE
Oh child. There wasn't even a Christmas festival when I was in high school. Why Jesus wasn't even born until I was a junior in college--
TRUVY
(to Clairee)
You have to admit God did a little dance around that brother of yours. Drew is so successful, the children are perfect. Belle doesn't have a care in the world.
CLAIREE
(wry)
I don't know about that.
page 60
SHELBY
I wish you could you could be happy, too.
M'LYNN
I wish--
(beat)
I don't know what I wish.
She sits down on the bed. Downstairs, we can HEAR the carolers. Shelby comes to M'Lynn, crouches down.
SHELBY
As long as we're alive, there's risk for every one of us. Things happen, you get through and life goes on. You're the one--you convinced me I could do anything I set my heart on. I set my heart on this, Mama. I want it.
M'Lynn's eyes fill, Shelby takes her hands, hold them between her own.
SHELBY (CONT’D)
I would rather have thirty minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special.
She waits, M'Lynn nods briefly, she's on the team--what choice does she have? She forces a smile.
INT. EATENTON LIVING ROOM - A FEW MINUTES LATER
Drum stands in front of the Christmas tree--he's tapping his knife on the glass--
DRUM
Excuse me. Excuse me! Hey!
(he has attention)
If I could just take a moment. To all of you, a Merry Christmas. Peace on earth and good tall women!
(over applause)
Wait, there's more! Today, my daughter told me a big secret. Come here, Shelby! Come on!
SHELBY
(embarrassed)
Secret being the operative word--