Oh baby, it’s time for Episode 2 of "Project Runway" as Heidi enters (wearing leopard!) to deliver the second challenge: to design a dress for an "actual celebrity," who turns out to be Rebecca Romijn (the transsexual from "Ugly Betty"), who turns out to be pregnant. With twins! Confused yet? I have suggested this challenge over and over again, and someone finally listened to me! The look must be "Pregnancy Chic," done in two days with $100. This is, well, knocked-up with possibilities ....

In the workroom, they have pregnancy pillows to tie on to their dress forms. We find out that Gordana has been pregnant twice (I love just listening to her talk with that accent!), and that Ra’mon thinks that Rebecca is in her second "semester" of her pregnancy. He was a med student? I'm glad he put down the scalpel ... Logan, even though he has sex with girls, has never gotten one pregnant. "Whew!"

They labor over their sketches, and then on to Mood, where Qristyl is totally stressed-out, and Johnny must have gone to a meeting, because he is much calmer and drier this time. Back in the workroom, Louise has gone (surprise!) vintage lingerie with lace and flowers, Nicolas the feather prince has become very, very bitchy and Mitchell has created A) a sail B) a tent or C) a pair of shorts for Kirstie Alley. I'm beginning to think Mitchell is cute, but dumb as a bag of rocks. Not even cute rocks.

Tim visits, and we witness the true tragedy of the evening, Malvin’s high-concept performance art ... the "Mother Hen" fetus sling. Oh dear. Tim deserves his own Emmy for acting like this isn’t the most hideous, poorly conceived thing in the room. There are feathers, nests and even jodhpurs to represent chicken thighs. The only thing missing is the bucket. Ra’mon has created a dress that Mitchell refers to as a "bowling bag." More like rented bowling shoes, because of how bad it stinks. They all concur that it looks better from far away. May I suggest San Diego? The models come in and put on their pregnancy pads, each one looking something like a pool cue that swallowed a basketball.

The claws are starting to come out on this episode, as Qristyl bashes Johnny’s "Easter Sunday" jacket that Rebecca "wouldn’t even dust with." You go, Miss Q! (I am stealing that line.) Nicolas hasn’t touched a feather yet, but thinks that everyone but him has made an ugly outfit, and Ra'mon concurs, calling everyone "hot messes" (where have I heard that before?), and thinks that he is easily the front-runner. Again, I am glad he put down the scalpel ...

It’s time for the runway and the "Estrogen Panel" of judges (Michael Kors is replaced by Monique Lhuillier so he can go get some sun), and Heidi warns the designers not to try to pull any crap on them, because the whole panel has been pregnant! The mommies strut the runway, and this is what I saw:

• Logan: Blah color and fabric with an interestingly draped back.

• Shirin: Fabulously draped and tucked burgundy dress with a great coat that adds drama. A stunner.

• Nicolas: Well, if Elvira is ever pregnant again ...

• Christopher: Gorgeous violet charmeuse asymmetrical bubble top with pants. This was one of my favorites.

• Mitchell: White-trash wife-beater chic that doesn’t fit, isn’t made well and is not appropriate outside of a trailer park.

• Qristyl: Cinnamon crepe draped outfit that is channelling Rami on his worst day.

• Epperson: “Not tacky” was how he described this. Oh dear God, let me rewind my life and pretend I never saw this outfit. There, I feel better.

• Louise: Vintage baby-doll negligee chic.

• Gordana: Navy sexpot top and pants. Maybe a little bit inappropriate.

• Johnny: Long navy dress with white piping. Boring. Johnny, they WANT drama!

• Malvin: I was afraid the model was going to give birth to an omelette on the runway. Too frightening for words. He's right, his clothes are "ineffable" as he said in Episode 1.

• Ra’mon: He said the judges had a stone-cold reaction to his bowling bag dress ... again, he was a med student?

• Carol Hannah: Turquoise boredom with a ruffled jacket.

• Althea: Long, chic midnight blue dress with a lattice ribbon bodice. Beautiful.

• Irina: Cute shorty swing dress in robin’s egg blue. Like Irina, kind of forgettable.

The decision? Louise, Shirin and Althea in the top; Malvin, Ra’mon and Mitchell in the bottom. Shirin, the clear winner, walks away with top honors. She deserves it. The elimination comes down to Mitchell and Malvin ...

See ya soon,
Chris

Posted in: pregnancy, two, project runway, episode, guest judge rebecca...

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