Earth, Wind and Fire (and Air)
I have the unique experience of seeing episodes of “Project Runway” in a somewhat odd fashion. Normally I’m privy to the Rate the Runway photos before I actually see the garments within the context of the episode, and looking at this week’s pictures provided me with quite a guess-the-challenge challenge of my own. My hunches this week went something like this:
Create a garment using hair extensions as fabric?
Create a pair of pants inspired by literal sports-wear?
Create a garment that incorporates the strategic use of odd hats?
Create a garment for a female superhero?
As you can see, I was all kinds of, well, WRONG. But can you blame me? As I finally learned that the four natural elements were weaving all these designs together (as “September” by Earth, Wind & Fire played in my head), things started to make a lot more sense.
Now, on to the worst of the bunch!
First off, you knew it was curtains for him once they showed the ubiquitous “sad phone call home” scene. That’s never a promising moment. Personal inner turmoil of being separated from the outside world aside, that guy got thrown under the fashion bus way harder than he needed to be. Yes, his pants looked like a jockstrap gone wrong, but the color palette and the top/jacket combination with Alison’s hair and makeup actually made me go, “Hey, I’d like to wear that … from the waist up … sans shark teeth.” Models who have walked down the runway with unfinished hems, Michael Korsdubbed “outrageous crotches” and booties hanging out did not receive the wrath this man must have felt on the runway.
Amy, however, I think had the more offending design by letting her “cauldron of hair” dress get way O.O.C. (Out of Control)! Holly’s extensions filling the bust of the dress didn’t match her own shade of blonde, so it was all the more noticeable that she was carrying around this odd papoose of hair. She may as well have had it filled with red extensions so at least it would resemble her element of fire. I think it creeped the judges out so much, it was all they could think about after a while.
Conversely, in a hey-I’m-gonna-remind-you-all-that-I’m-on-this-damn-show! moment of triumph, Jonathan scored his first win with his whimsical “laughter” dress, not just for himself or his model, Cerri (whose Irish accent I am OBSESSED with!), but for all pale people everywhere.
As one of your pasty brethren, Jonathan, I salute you.