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There’s No Place Like Home

Posted By LisaRaphael 1:51pm GMT

Josh was the big whiner.
Anya was the big winner.
Laura was out.

Nothing Like a Little Buzzkill
We open with fashion's golden goddess standing on the runway. She delivers to the widely grinning designers the news that there will only be THREE designers showing at Fashion Week. The. Bubble. Bursts. Did you really think that all four were going to get a ticket in? Come, now, you have been watching this show long enough.

So the designers all head home to make their collections and wait for Tim Gunn's visit.

Not as Easy as It Seams
Home visits in a nutshell …

Kimberly: Her inspiration is a "pre-gentrified" Brooklyn girl. Tim is concerned about her missing "wow" factor and her color palette; so am I. Our girl is in trouble here. Where are her magnificent pants? Her skills aren't showing here, and we all know she has them.

Anya: Inspired by a scuba diving trip to Tobago. Tim admires her prints and asks to see her work. She has not one garment done. There are only two weeks left. Anya is warned about the rules: no outside help. She is in an artistic rut and hasn't even sketched. Tim is growing paler by the minute.

Viktor: Inspired by a trip to Guadalajara. At first look, we feel better. Viktor's collection is what we would expect: original prints, meticulous execution and tasteful. That white leather jacket is an item that will sell so fast it would make you dizzy, no matter the cost. Beautiful work here. Tim is so impressed that he thinks Viktor will "knock their F-ing socks off." Tim, you devil.

Tim Gunn's facial expressionJosh: Clearly no inspiration mentioned ... just cranking out pieces, it seems. Tim's expression gets more priceless with every piece Josh reveals and subsequently discards. The collection is a heap of tacky textiles. Tim pronounces that Josh's central print is the "homeliest textile" he has ever seen. Ouch. Josh also has a lot of work to do in two weeks. Is it me, or does it appear that Josh has switched to a more subtle shade of bronzer? I digress.

Lincoln Center or Bust
Our chipper "it" girl greets the high-flying final four contestants in what appears to be a Mondo Guerra sugar skull top (am I wrong?) and leggings, eager to get this show on the road. The usual suspects are judging, all looking like they had a little canary for lunch.

The show, again, is a combination of the good, the bad, and the ugly.

1. Viktor throws down the proverbial gauntlet with a cohesive, impeccably made trio. Michael thinks that the zip leather skirt is overkill. So do I. The dress stands on its own, but I see where he was going. To no one's surprise, Heidi dons that magnificent Balmain-inspired jacket. Viktor leaves us wanting to see more. The judges are pleased, and Michael advises Viktor to make black slacks and a tee for the white jacket.

Anya's final three looks2. Anya is next and presents a WTH? mini-collection. The first dress is certainly her esthetic; anyone could wear that darling little dress. Then the rest is a mess. The bathing suit is nothing new, and her gold gown doesn't work at all. Poor fabric choice for her, and poor construction. Where is that free-spirited sprite of a designer? It seems that she was trying so hard to impress that she lost herself along the way. Michael exclaims that the gown looks "tortured." Nina wants Anya to embrace herself. So do we. This is so not "her."

3. Kimberly follows with a one-dress-success, as well. The black sparkle dress is lovely, but the other two looks fail to impress. Heidi thinks that the bubble skirt looks like a cartoon; I couldn't agree more. Nina warns Kimberly to lose the accessories — the giant earrings and enormous bags are overkill personified. There is so much cobalt blue going on that Kors thinks one of the models looks like she has "club foot." Again, we want more of those fabulous pants from her.

4. Josh finishes the day with a great jacket, passable neoprene LBD and a jumpsuit that looks great from the front (love the plastic) but a disaster (Kors, here) in the back. This would have been a real stunner if the model didn't have to turn around. Josh is praised for his clean styling and seems to feel as though he has this thing in the bag. Perhaps his guyliner is seeping into his pores; nothing is ever a sure thing on "Project Runway." Except Christian Siriano. Slam. Dunk.

Never Let Them See You Sweat
Josh is in ...
Viktor is in ...
Kimberly is in ... and after a very long and dramatic wait ...
Anya is in.

Next week: A happy ending for one.


A Bird in the Hand Is Worth 20,000 in the Bush

Posted By LisaRaphael 4:46pm GMT

Leftovers from last week:
- Anya and Bert will peddle their wares on Piperlime
- Anthony Ryan will pedal his way home

Tim Gunn in the workroomOne Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
Heidi starts off the episode by telling the designers, "Spread your wings" and not one of them thinks "bird"... honestly. In the workroom,Tim is joined by three screeching birds and Collier Strong, head consulting makeup artist for L'Oréal Paris. LOVE HIM.

Tim lays out the challenge: The exotic birds are to serve as inspiration for a high-fashion advertorial in Marie Claire magazine. There is also a $20,000 prize for the winner. What, no yacht?

The remaining designers are paired up, each pair is assigned a bird and they are to compete beak-to-beak. This is a two-day challenge, and Collier will consult on the makeup. Off they go to Mood with $300 under their wings.

Pecking Order
Things in the workroom are sticky-sweet, but you can see the designers circling one another. Perhaps we will see a cage fight?

Tim strolls in and uses the phrase "fiercely competitive" more than once, and then announces that the designers must create another look to walk the runway with another $300. Jaws dropping all around. Honestly, Josh should have jumped up right there and planted one on Tim, because there was a healthy pile of green crap on his dress form. Maybe he can redeem himself with something less tacky?

Beauty Queen vs. Cockroach ... My Money's on the Beauty Queen
Things are a snooze in the workroom (as they have been for quite some time) until a visitor arrives in the form of a New York–sized cockroach. Kimberly is up on the table in a New York minute, and the girls are all screaming (Josh is the loudest). Anya the delicate flower walks over and kills the thing with her shoe in two hits. Surprised she didn't scoop it up and use it for a brooch. She has a cute LBD on her dress form but cannot figure how to get her model in or out of it. A zipper must be out of the question.

Yes, it looked fashion-forward, but if she can't execute it, is it a success? If the designers weren't expected to successfully sew their own garments, they would have been given a tailor chained to their table. Don't get me wrong, I thought it was a great look in the end, but was it an accident or a design? I can see why Viktor, the most talented technician by far, is frustrated.

La Cage Aux Folles Down
Talented guest judge Francisco Costa is seated and ready for the runway, along with the usual suspects, to watch the show.

Kimberly and the models on the runwayOn the runway:
I personally loved what Kimberly did with polyester and three hours. It sure topped most of what was dragged down the runway. I, like Michael Kors, wasn't crazy about the trim, but I can see that dress being produced and worn by a vast array of women. Besides, she didn't get too literal with the challenge, for which I applaud her. I would have probably given her the win. Don't get me wrong, I liked Anya's dress. Very much. Those little sleeve-things bugged me.

Bert earned "lame duck" status with his drab and seen-so-many-times-before gown. Laura missed the mark with those painted-on pants and "feathers" at the blazer neck. Viktor had mad skills, but his look made his model look huge ... and she's a model. Besides, it was too literal for my taste, and too expected for an entry this late in the game. Viktor is much better than that. Josh tossed that green mess and walked his chic orange draped look instead. He should have ditched the (Kors here) "'drunk in the Caribbean' corsage." At least he laid off the rhinestones.

Now, can we address a line uttered by Michael Kors that is just too delicious to let go? We will: At one point in the judging Kors exclaimed that he is "a very orange kind of guy." Talk amongst yourselves.

A Good Egg
Anya and her LBD are given the win and the coins. Josh is unhappy, to say the least, and doesn't offer even a fake "congrats" to her.

Laid an Egg
Bert and his "Wonder Woman reptilian corset" (Kors and Garcia) gown flew the coop.

Next week:
The final challenge: create 3 looks with an "assistant" from their past. Hmmmmm.


Back to the Future

Posted By LifetimeLisaR 3:11pm GMT

Last Week:
Everyone shopped at the Brady Bunch Thrift Shop
Viktor rocked it
Olivier hit a sour note

Tim Gunn in the workroom"The Thrill Is Gone"
Heidi and her stilettos tell the designers to "Look to the past" for their next challenge: the '70s. Mixed reactions all around, as they royally butchered '70s wear just last week.

Tim is in the workroom with Piperlime apparel buyer Heather Archibald. The details of the task: create a look reflecting the '70s revival in a sophisticated way, without going too retro. The winning look will be produced and sold on Piperlime.com. Is it me, or are these rewards getting bigger every week? What's next, a yacht?

"Bridge Over Troubled Water"
Off the designers go to Mood armed with $100. Josh is whining about not knowing anything about '70s fashion. REALLY? What serious designer is ignorant of fashion history? My 17-year-old can fill him in. Josh: Call Molly.

The designers storm Mood with their money in hand, or in Anya's case, in breast. With five minutes left, Anya discovers that her money envelope is gone. How the "H" has no one found it? Is the envelope stuck to the bottom of someone's shoe because of a piece of gum? Did Swatch eat it? CRAZY. Anya is in full panic mode. The only one left with some spare change is Anthony Ryan, who gives the poor girl $11. Love him. Tim tells her that she can also use muslin. Tears. Anya is praised for her generosity in the past. More tears.

"You Can't Always Get What You Want"
In the sweatshop workroom, everyone is offering Anya their extra fabric, but she sticks to her original plan: use the $11 fabric and dye some muslin. Viktor is sniffing about not helping Anya because "This is a competition." She dropped her money. Believe me, I clutched that envelope like it was life support. Viktor is getting petty for someone so talented. Laura, on the other hand, is encouraging Anya, who is still teary.

Josh is skulking around checking everyone's work, and the designers are leery of him stealing ideas. You can tell that everyone is sick of him. Especially Viktor.

"Disco Inferno"
Enter the divine Mr. Gunn to hand out another piece of the challenge: create a second look for $50. Back to Mood. Anya has stapled her money to her chest.

guest judge Olivia Palermo"Rocky Mountain High"
It's Runway time. Heidi, in a killer dress and flawless hair, greets guest judge Olivia Palermo, a stunning über-qualified celeb and guest editor for Piperlime. The show begins, and I find myself scratching my head at some of the looks. Maybe it is because I was a kid in the '70s.

Going straight to DVD:
Kimberly was sent to safety. Did no one else see the opening in the front of the vest?

Laura and Anthony Ryan got lost along the timeline, and Josh went just plain crazy with those insane pants, which evoked the highest-pitched scream we have heard from Kors yet. Dogs in the neighborhood came running.

Anthony Ryan told the judges that he was going in the "weed smoking" direction; Kors agreed about the weed and then gasped at the back of the unfortunate skirt. To A.R: Honey, I have made a skirt like that ... it too hurts Michael's eyes.

Nina got in her licks with Laura, calling the chevron top a "prison uniform." Evidently Nina has issues with Laura's taste level. Olivia, with her keen eye, was just as disappointed in these three.

Up for the Oscar:
Viktor impressed all with his mad tailoring skills, but it needed to be sexier. Would have loved to see a little color here.

Anya was getting love for her two looks, even the giant jumpsuit. Loved the fabric, but didn't it seem like all the models could have worn it at the same time? She did not crumble under pressure. Good girl.

Bert was praised for his "Roller Barbie" (thanks, Laura) booty short look, and all loved his simple little dress.

"Stayin' Alive"
Anya is handed the win, and her jumpsuit will be sold on Piperlime.com. Bert is also rewarded for his little dress, which will also appear on the website.

"Dust in the Wind"
Anthony Ryan leaves with the charm and grace you would expect from someone so well loved. His kindness and genuinely sweet disposition will be sorely missed; I am sad to see him go.


Three Dog Nightmare

Posted By Antonia L. 11:44am GMT

To recap:
Boobs were the buzz
“Double D's” were double trouble
Josh scored with an LBD
Bryce was excused from the fashion buffet

I'm on the Highway to Hell
 Heidi greets the exhausted designers in another sparkle jumpsuit with the message “Image is everything” and says that Tim is waiting for them in the Rockwood Music Hall. Cue the worried glances and muttering. At the music hall, Tim Gunn walks in and is joined by Peter Butler, who is the consulting stylist for Garnier. Confession time: I have a little crush on Peter; he is sweet and charming and handsome in person ... and his hair is perfect.

The challenge: Create a new image for an unsigned band, The Sheepdogs. The payoff for the win: an editorial in Marie Claire and Rolling Stone magazines, and the winning look will be worn at a Rolling Stone magazine event. Holy smokes!!!

Tim reaches into that doggone button bag to assemble two teams of four. Olivier, Viktor, Kimberly and Josh are “Team Untitled,” and Laura, Bert, Anthony Ryan and Anya are “Team Harmony.” Flashbacks to Bert and Anthony Ryan fighting scroll across the screen ... and the menswear panic sets in. At least the designers don't have to worry about cohesion. It is every “man” for himself.

I Ain't Got No Satisfaction
After a less-than-successful trip to Mood, the designers unpack their “treasures” in the workroom, and we see a whole lot of girly fabrics. Ugly girly fabrics.

Olivier is again gnashing his teeth over his model who is larger than the industry standard sample size. PLEEEEEASE! Olivier is a menswear designer and should be able to coast on this one; if only he could make peace with his burly man's more-than-waif figure. I believe he uses the term “plus size.”

Josh parades around in his man-panties, hoping to elicit envious gasps from his cast mates. They are gasping, all right ... at his gorilla legs. It is curious that a man who tweezes the way Josh does would not “manscape” from the neck down.

Under Pressure
Enter Tim Gunn with Peter Butler in tow (I am in full-blown crush mode now) to help the designers update their rockers' hair, and all goes well.

Tim looks concerned here in the workroom, as well he should. There's a pile of girly ugly going on here. We have everything from purple blouses (Bert's word, not mine) to autumn tunics to cowboy pocket patches on a swan shirt. This runway show may be even more tragic than the stilt challenge. Olivier is still going on about his “plus size” model, who he calls “big” right to his face. Again, this guy could snap Olivier right in half. Panic has permeated the workroom ... as well it should.

Let Sleeping Sheepdogs Lie
 It's runway time, and guest judge joins Heidi, Michael and Nina in the director's chairs. Adam has on less eyeliner than Josh; I think they are sizing each other up. Maybe it is my imagination. Maybe not.

Let's make this quick: I am a little queasy just looking at it all. It's not good.

TEAM HARMONY (Quoting the judges here)
Anthony Ryan: “Golden Girls” goes rock 'n' roll (Kors); girly blouse (Garcia)
Anya: Pocahontas with splitting pants (Nina)
Laura: Loved by all, except for the “Sweeney Todd” (Kors again) shirt
Bert: Rocker vibe highly praised. Who knew he had it in him? They even forgave the overuse of purple.

TEAM UNTITLED (Again, quotes from the panel)
Olivier: “Dad jeans,” says Heidi. A bad fit coming from a menswear designer. And enough about how “big” your client was — deal with the client!
Kimberly: “Peter Brady at autumn harvest,” according to Kors — bad giant buttons on a really girly shirt. Nina hates.
Viktor: The only one praised up and down. Killer biker jacket and great-fitting pants. Unfortunate fabric for the shirt.
Josh: Heidi loves the crotch zipper, andAdam thinks it is sexy; Josh agrees. Again, do we have a little eyelash-batting from Josh to Adam?

Going Platinum
Viktor gets the win and the incredible prize of the two editorials and live performance. The jacket was fabulous, and the pants were well done. Fresh denim can go nerdy quite easily; just ask the other designers. Michael called it “Mad Max meets Woodstock.”

No Grammy for These Jammies
Poor nervous, time-challenged Olivier lands at the bottom of the charts for his “Dad jeans” and girly too-short, too-feminine shirt and is sent to tidy his workroom table. It is an expected departure for the menswear designer of the group. It was just way off-key (puns are over, I promise).

Next Week: A blast from the past ...


It's Raining Men

Posted By Antonia L. 11:30am GMT

Last week in a nutshell:
Josh was nasty.
Bert didn’t take the bait.
Anya won.
Becky was “cancelled.”

Dude Looks Like a Lady
 Heidi steps onto the runway in a little number that shows off a pair of stems for which she should call her parents in gratitude for the killer genes. She is swinging that button bag again. The designers are no longer smiling, and when Heidi announces that the models have the day off, brow sweat starts to form. Then, out comes a parade of dudes. Cleanup in aisle 7! ... we have puddles on the floor. Olivier is concerned that these “fat” men will be difficult to design for. Does he not realize that any one of these guys could snap him like a twig for calling them “fat?” Most likely he has changed his phone number by now. Maybe a mustache will help.

Not to worry: For this challenge, the designers must create a look for the spouses and girlfriends of these guys. WHEW! There will be two days for the challenge, and the women will model. After a brief consultation with the guys, the designers head off to Mood, men in tow.

Colonel Sanders Was Never This Obsessed
The workroom is buzzing with testosterone ... never in “Project Runway” history has the word “breast” been tossed around so much; of this I am sure. Bert’s dude wanted to show off his “hot piece of tushy,” and Olivier is terrified of his model’s DD cup size. He even goes so far as to ask Tim Gunn for cup size clarification. Tim responds beautifully by telling Olivier that he has no personal experience with the subject. Exit Tim, shaking his head. Exit Olivier, shaking and clutching his fabric.

Thanks for the Mammaries
In the workroom it is construction time, and of course there is more cup-size talk ... it’s like a frat house during sorority rush. Bert is mildly amused by his client’s antics (assaulting the dress form’s upper torso — you know what I mean) and tries very hard to hide it. Bert is patient, but you know he wants it all to stop. Enter the women in all shapes and sizes.

 Some have opinions, but most are happy with the direction in which their designer is heading — except, of course, sweating Olivier’s client. She has opinions about EVERYTHING. I am worried that we will soon see Olivier sporting no hair but a tiny patch. He doesn’t know how to deal with a real client and is fighting it all the way.

Viktor seems to have nailed this challenge, creating a look that makes it appear that this woman has been his client for years. Laura seems to have drawn her perfect client. It's like Barbie is dressing Barbie ... in a good way. Bryce is clearly struggling here, and has made two pink puckered messes. He also seems over the whole thing. Josh chucked the bedazzler and has created an LBD for his modest and darling client. Safe but cute.

"Bust" a Move
It’s runway day, and Olivier and Kimberly are stitching their looks as the models are walking out the door. Tim is not pleased.

The guest judge is actress Malin Akerman, working an on-trend red dress. The runway may have been walked by everyday women, but these women all strutted their stuff and seemed to be having a blast. Afterward, Laura, Kimberly and Olivier are safe.

On Top are:
Anya for her artsy and unusual print dress. The one sleeve bothered most of the judges. Her model had a great figure and cut arms; the one sleeve was an awkward and unusual choice. I am really liking Anya, though, at this point. Josh for his chic LBD. We have seen many like this, but the lace he used was perfect. He nailed his client’s style, and as Tim pointed out, she didn’t need a bra after all. Viktor for his impeccably tailored blouse and skirt. This was my favorite look of the night. It was the right look for the right woman. I agree that she needed to take off the glasses ... and the necklace. It was just too much.

At the Bottom of the Heap:
Bert for his pedestrian short tight shiny dress. Heidi likes the length, and Michael chimes in with a playful dig at Heidi’s almost nonexistent skirt. Hell, with legs like hers, who needs a skirt? Bryce for his unfortunate pink mess with huge pockets. Kors suggests that the model could clear off a buffet table (grab a lamb chop and a beer) and walk away with it all in those pockets. Nina exclaims that the dress is wearing her. Heidi is equally displeased. Anthony Ryan for a look that evoked: a cheerleader, an 80-year-old playing bingo and a superhero ice skater. He looks defeated and takes it on the chin well.

In Like a Lion ... Out Like a Lamb Chop
The winner: Josh and his LBD.

Leaving the buffet: Bryce and his Pepto-Dismal dress. He is a real sweetie, and he will be missed.

Next Week: ANOTHER team challenge ...


If at First You Don’t Succeed, Fight, Fight Again

Posted By CaitlinBergmann 5:01am GMT

Last week in a nutshell:
Kids with paint
Designers with Xanax
Anthony Ryan gets an extra study hall
Josh C. is expelled

Button Bag From Hell
We open this week with Josh M. whining about not winning the last challenge, and we get the feeling that his knickers are in a twist ... and it looks as though they will stay this way. And it hurts.

Later, at Parsons, Heidi appears with that dreaded button bag. Man, how the designers hate that button bag. Turns out that they have a good reason ... another team challenge: teams of five, with no leaders. Teams are chosen, and quelle surprise: Bert is last. Again. Maybe he should have learned some of his fellow designers' names.

In the workroom, Tim hands out the challenge: Each team will design custom fabrics, choose three and make five looks for a cohesive show, make a video for the backdrop and choose the music. Ahhhh, so many opportunities to butt heads. Enter Betsey Johnson (a personal fave) to show the designers how to have fun with prints, cooperate with each other and do a killer cartwheel on the runway.

Joan Crawford Would Be Proud
Anthony Ryan, Viktor, Bryce and Anya (Team Chaos) spend their day loving each other up and braiding one another's hair.

Team Nuts and Bolts do not get along in the HP fabric challengeJosh, Laura, Kimberly, Becky and Bert (Team Nuts and Bolts) are trying to decide whose print is the least lame; Bert mutters something about his F@*&#! print not coming out of the printer ... and Josh goes off like a nun (add a touch of Norma Desmond) with a bar of soap for Bert's mouth. To Bert's credit (yes, I said it), he doesn't take the bait. Josh's tantrum continues, and now we have a visual of Joan Crawford holding a pile of wire hangers. Please make it stop.

Later we have another Norma Desmond moment from Josh, with a public apology for his behavior. Pleeeeeease make it stop. Then he and Bert hug it out.

Is It a Collection or an Infection???
Let's cut to the runway, because after all, it is supposed to be about fashion ... right? Designer Rachel Roy (red hot right now) and the beautiful actress Rose Byrne are joining the usual cast of characters judges tonight. Do you get the feeling that an extra judge has been added to avoid more "2 against 1" decisions?

Team Nuts and Bolts starts the show with a confusing mess of a collection. We have some unfortunate prints, wonky construction and questionable taste ... but the styling is praised.

Team Chaos fares much better, with a sharp cohesive collection with a modern vibe that evokes the team's name ... in a good way. No nail-biter here to see which team is going to win.

A Well-Oiled Machine
Team Chaos is praised for their teamwork, sharp prints and beautiful construction, and asked to vote for a team winner. All vote for themselves, except for Bryce, who names Anya. The favorites of the team are Olivier, for his impeccably tailored jacket; Viktor, whose inkblot evening gown was a standout; and Anya, for her little print dress. It is Anya who is declared the winner for her mixed print dress. I am liking Anya more and more, but I didn't see her getting the win for this challenge.

Team Nuts and Bolts do not get along in the HP fabric challengeThe Clunker
Team Nuts and Bolts takes turns pointing the finger (surprised?) at each other for the disaster that is their collection. Becky, as Kors puts it, has put "'cancelled' on her model's crotch" and is clearly in trouble for her snooze of a design.

When he hears the wheels of the proverbial bus approaching, Josh takes a last desperate moment to pat himself on his back for a job well done. In fact, he pats himself so hard that I feared he would cough up a lung.

To the Junkyard
Alas, it is Becky who is taken out of the race.

Next Week ...
The designers get some direction from the "man on the street."


That's a Stretch

Posted By LifetimeLisaR 5:00am GMT

Now that Josh C. has left the building, we find the designers primping for another day at Parsons. Olivier is gracious about his win, and Bert’s undies are still in a bunch over his spanking from Heidi on the last runway.

A Tall Order
Before the runway are 14 anxious designers awaiting Ms. Klum; will it be a mini, maxi, stilettos ... or ... STILTS? Heidi struts in on a pair of circus stilts, and quite frankly, looks like she’s been rocking this look for years. Who knew supermodels had that kind of balance? She is joined by a gaggle of stilt-walking women and dishes out the challenge: “Think big” and create a Parisian runway–worthy look for the models at hand. These looks will be featured in an outdoor public fashion show in Battery Park. Oh, and you will be working in teams of two, which are chosen out of the button bag. Let the head-butting begin!

Over the Top or Big Top
In the workroom, Tim gives the designers the good news: They have $500 per team; and the bad: The runway show is tomorrow. Cue the panic music. Off they all go to Mood, where some interesting choices are made. Tim expresses a few concerns about the designers’ fabric selections, trying to steer them away from a costume design. Even Swatch looks worried about this one.

That Beanstalk Is Jacked
Now, you and I know very well that a team challenge tends to bring out the claws, and today’s is no exception.

Bert and Viktor are dueling in one corner, while Josh and Julie are swapping genders in another (Julie is clearly manning up for this challenge), and Bryce is giving our darling Fallene a sewing lesson about fabric grain, which doesn’t bode well for the future of their garment. I adore her, but she seems to be in over her head. To Bryce’s credit, he never loses his temper with her ... even when he has seven minutes to make a tube top to replace her wonky bustier. Good boy. Meanwhile, Tim is trying to smooth the Bert/Victor ruffles and explains that the word “we” has not been used. I think Michael Kors will use it twice when he sees this look (come on, I know I don’t have to explain this one). Viktor dubs Bert “Bertzilla,” and we have to give him a wink for that one. Everyone else seems to be getting along quite nicely.

Tall Tales
It’s showtime, and Tim leads the designers to Battery Park for the outdoor show. The stormy sky creates the perfect drama for the runway ... makes you wonder what kind of connections these producers have, huh?

Heidi appears on the stilts that God gave her and welcomes the perfectly appointed Kim Kardashian as the guest judge. This girl has a closet we all dream about and should be able to hold her own here. Once you get past the freaky way some of the stilt walkers are gyrating (presumably to keep from toppling over), it hits you that some designers nailed the proportion part of the challenge, and some did not.

Rising to the Challenge
The top three pairs are: Anthony Ryan + Laura for their dreamy red ensemble (gorgeous), Danielle + Cecilia for their beautifully made chiffon pants and — I’m sorry, I just don’t get why they loved this blouse — blue top, and Kimberly + Becky for their wonderfully tailored and styled military look (those pants were killer). Michael’s favorite part of any pair’s look certainly is Danielle + Cecilia's model’s tragic hair ... I love it when Michael’s voice hits that octave.

On Their Knees
The bottom three teams are: Bert + Viktor for their curtains/wallpaper creation, Bryce + Fallene for their ballerina with a tank top and tie (as Kim describes it), and Josh + Julie for their bedazzled matador (prompting Kors to proclaim, “Drama doesn’t mean tacky”). Josh and Julie’s outfit features a pair of wild pants, which I did love (but why the extremely high waist?) and a (quoting Michael Drummond here) “cray-cray” jacket. What the “H” was that sleeve?

Surprise of the day: There is no room for anyone else under the proverbial bus, as Bert and Viktor are taking turns shoving each other there. Fallene falls on the sword for not having created anything but that hat, which, by the way, is the only thing the judges liked about her team’s work. Bryce doesn’t stop her.

Taking the High Road
Anthony Ryan + Laura are declared the winners, and Anthony Ryan asks that the judges give the immunity to Laura. I told you that I liked this guy. This look was stunning, and I agree with the judges. Well done.

Fallen From Grace
Fallene is auf’d for her lack of contribution ... even that fab hat couldn’t save her. She says her goodbyes, and off to the workroom Fallene goes to turn out the lights on her adventure.

Next Week ...
The designers must impress Nina Garcia with a look for her personal wardrobe ... YIKES!


Animal, Vegetable or Minimal

Posted By LifetimeLisaR 5:49pm GMT

After reliving Rafael's departure, we find the designers seated before the runway, grinning at the divine Ms. Klum and hoping for a challenge hint. Heidi mentions the word "unleash," which, according to Josh M., must involve some form of bondage. He really is beginning to grow on me. Instead of heading to a leather factory, Tim takes the group to Petland to buy $300 worth of pet products to create their next look.

Project Runway designers at PetlandThe Running of the Bulls
Pandemonium breaks out as Tim warns the stampeding designers not to use fabric-like materials ... or live animals, much to the relief of a few critters. So, natch, we see a few dog beds being dragged to the counter, and we start to shake our heads. Garish plastic fish-tank plants and puppy training pads are scooped up (no pun intended) as if they were vintage Italian beads and French lace. The only item missing from this collection appears to be a litter box ... but it is early yet.

Some Ideas Just Don't Hold Water ...
Back in the workroom, the floors are covered in dog food, puppy pads (I just can't bring myself to use the term "wee-wee pads"... Tim Gunn isn't happy about the phrase, either) and birdseed. Bad ideas are multiplying like rabbits, as we see everything from Laura's "cone of shame" skirt (which is so short it shows her model's kibbles and bits) to Bert's "velour beach cover-up," as Tim calls it. Bert is warned about dialing in his immunity-inspired look; his fellow designers concur. Bert couldn't care less ... I really like the guy, but his attitude needs a little adjusting here.

Heidi, Michael and Nina are joined by the chic and adorable Stacey Bendet, cofounder of Alice + Olivia, so the designers better bring some greatness to the runway. With designs ranging from the ridiculous (blue napkin dress, anyone?) to the sublime (birdseed couture), the runway show provides enough fuel for some fabulous quips from the judges, although none of them use Tim Gunn's term "Depends dress." The contestants who are "safe" are sent to the designers' lounge, but not before Heidi calls out Bert for his abuse of the immunity status. Bravo, Heidi.

Best in Show
In the winner's circle: Anthony Ryan, for his stunning little dress entirely made of birdseed; (Heidi's favorite) Olivier, for his dog-bed and pet-litter design, which Nina dubbed "very editorial"; and rounding out the Top Dog category, Josh M., with his adorable reptile mesh skirt and aquarium-chic mosaic top. Well done all around.

Project Runway designers at PetlandIn Deep Doo-Doo (really, I'm finished now)
In trouble are: Fallene, for her oddly proportioned Halloween-colored aquarium seaweed dress; Bryce, whose blue-puppy-pad and rabbit-litter look was accented by huge sunglasses (Michael called it "incognito in napkins"); and Josh C., for his use of conventional materials to make another poorly constructed top, which made the model, according to Michael, look like she was "nursing twins." Kors was on fire here. I personally was bothered by the puppies on her "puppies." Look again ... you'll see it.

It Was a Tight Race
After a little lighthearted nose-to-nose growling between Nina and Heidi, the judges reach a decision. The win goes to Olivier and his impeccable creation, which was chic enough to overcome the frowned-upon use of a conventional material for the top. It was a very close call, with Anthony Ryan finishing a close second. I could easily have seen it go the other way, but no one called to ask my opinion. Both designs were spectacular. Josh M. was no slouch, either.

Bryce is put out of his misery and sent to safety, as is Fallene. Poor Josh C. is ousted, which is no big shocker after he landed in the bottom for the first two challenges. He was ousted for using conventional materials to make a poorly fitted look, which made the judges question his abilities. He seems very sweet, and Tim is sad to see him go, as are the rest of the gang.

Until next week ... save the drama for your mama.


When the Sheet Hits the Fan

Posted By CaitlinBergmann 5:07am GMT

Well, kids ... time to take a shot of pity-party mouthwash and rinse out the bad taste that the Season 8 Project Runway finale shocker left in your mouths. Mondo is fine, and it's time to get on with it all, because here comes Season 9!

Anya Ayoung-Chee Project Runway4 Down, 13 to Go
We open with a chiseled Heidi and dapper Tim (shocking, I know) announcing that all 20 of the fashion hopefuls must appear before them, Nina and Michael with some of their favorite designs and sing a little song to the tune of "Please Don't Send Me Packing," as four of the designers will go home before the first challenge. Let the tap dancing begin.

And the Tony Goes to ...
The designers unpack and size up the competition. We have Anthony (a front-runner in the "crier" division), who is wearing a fierce scarf. Miss Heidi wants it, but he won't take it off. For God's sake, dude, give her the scarf! Viktor looks promising. Beauty queen Anya presents several expertly made garments and then announces that she learned to sew four months ago (is she a savant?). After she confesses that she had "a lot of help," Tim gives her the "pull on someone else's legs, mine are long enough" look. Time will tell. Olivier also seems to be one to watch. Most cringe-worthy moment: Rafael thinks that Nina keeps giving him a "come-hither" look. Ummmm ... really, dude?

Toga Party
David, Gunnar, Amanda and Serena are out, and the remaining 16 head to Atlas to unpack and crash, only to be dragged out of bed by a chipper Tim Gunn, who leads the string of sleepwalking designers through Manhattan. Arriving at Parsons, Tim announces the challenge: to make a garment using only their pajamas and one sheet from their beds. Thankfully, the contenders are given scrubs to wear as they tear apart the various jammies, sweats and boxers ... because naked ironing is a dangerous thing. Trust me.

Runway or Runaway?
It's runway time, and the designers are greeted by a GORGEOUS but rather subdued Miss Heidi. No short and tight and shiny … maybe next week. Judges are introduced, and Michael and Nina have virtual napkins tied around their necks, waiting for the fashion feeding frenzy. Guest judge Christina Ricci, polished and sweet, seems to be a gentle choice for the first runway — why make them wet their pants on Episode 1? The runway is a mix of the good, the bad and the downright ugly. There's everything from chic dresses to crazy pants, and even a puking clown. But I digress ...

At the Top
Anya's silk-kimono-turned-sexy-top and stovepipe pants put her at the head of the class, along with Bert and his chic dress made from his checked boxer shorts. Michael calls him out for his dated styling, but the dress is strong enough to overcome that lipstick and hair. Anthony Ryan is also tops, for his lace-embellished T-shirt and feather-laden skirt. Please look at that skirt and tell me that it doesn't look like it needs a good waxing ... Tim Gunn saw it. The judges, however, loved the look.

Joshua Christensen Project RunwayIn Deep Sheet (last pun, I promise)
Trembling in their shorts are the bottom three designers: Josh C., Julie and Rafael. Josh clearly struggled with fit and execution, which Nina declares is "garishly off." This leaves Josh wondering why his fellow designers never told him it was less than stellar. Really? Julie's look is a combination of an odd top with tragic pants. Rafael seems unfazed by Michael's remark about the "Flintstone disco patch" around his model's neck. It appears that he took his do-rag and made a "don't"; the sweatpants leggings didn't help. Nina was not amused. Thankfully, Michael Kors, the Mayor of One-Linerville, came this season armed with some great lines. He slays me.

Drum Roll, Please ...
And the win goes to ... Bert! He used a whimsical pair of boxers and a T-shirt to walk a darling little dress down the runway. Julie is sent to safety, which leaves Josh C. and Rafael shaking in their boots. I am a little worried about that puddle of sweat pooling under Josh. However, it is Rafael who is sent to clean up his workroom space by a pocket square–adorned Mr. Gunn.

Coming Attractions
The tension and drama appear to skip Simmer and go straight to Boil ...