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Team Miserable

By kim_messina Fri., Aug. 17, 2012 ,5:01 am EDT

Hello "Project Runway" fans and blog readers. A new week and a new recap ... and yes, another chance to get something off my chest. Here we go:

Why is EVERYONE on Season 10 So Miserable?

People are crying left and right, contestants are bolting out in the middle of night, everyone is OVER-stressed and swearing like drunken sailors (What. Is. With. All. The Swearing by the way? I feel like I'm watching Snooki on "The Jersey Shore"). The whole thing is kind of depressing. Now, granted, it is always easy to remember the good and not the bad, but I don't recollect the environment back in my season being so miserable, or my fellow cast mates being so contemptible (Or at least most of them). We would be in the confessionals cracking jokes, saying this-and-that (and not in a nasty, spiteful way) and the requisite "I'm not sure I will be finished on time" comments. On this season, it's been a cloud of unhappiness and doleful anguish almost every week. And it's only week five. I'm beginning to understand why Andrea and Kooan did a "I'm OUTTA here!" without even batting a L'Oreal mascara'ed eyelash.

Design a Working Woman Collection, Direct a Photoshoot, Work on a Team & Go to Mars!

Heidi enters the runway and brings out my Colombian sister from another Mister, Nina Garcia. Nina announces to the designers that this is the "Marie Claire Team Challenge" and they must create a capsule collection for a working woman that is both editorial AND will also work in the "real world," AND they will work in teams AND they will also direct a photoshoot of the collection with the winning team being featured in the Marie Claire @Work supplement of the magazine. Oh, and did I mention that the winning design will also be launched in the Mars Rover to be used as an instrument to find proof of water on the planet? Just kidding. But seriously folks, that is a LOT rolled into one challenge...

Bromance Ends As Soon As It Begins

The designers begin to choose the members of their teams and Raul is the Last Man Sitting. He's feeling like a "schoolyard reject" as Christopher, whom he thought was his new Bromance love, ends up passing him over for Potty Mouthed Snooki, I mean Gunnar. The final two teams end up being "Team Five" (5 designers) Nathan, Ven, Christopher, Fabio and Gunnar, and "Team Six" (6 designers), Sonjia, Elena, Melissa, Dmitry, Alicia and Raul. During the pre-shopping pow-wow meeting, Raul (feeling his ego at an all-time low) is confrontational, already predicting his teammates will throw him under the "Team Challenge Bus." He also declares that he's "good at making pants" at which point I almost hear the producers rushing to the "Project Runway Season 10 Wall of SHAME" and showing proof of just the opposite from last week. Oh these kids, they SLAY me.

Gunnar: Good Luck Next Time You Want Your Pants Hemmed

After a frantic Mood shopping trip, the teams head back to Parsons. Raul now has switched his "I'm the King of Pants" tune to "My strength is in doing ruffled blouses." If you say so Raul. Elena is quickly becoming the Grinch of the workroom, being combative about anything her team is working on. And then we have Gunnar, who is trash-talking the entire profession of Tailors (and Savile Row for that matter!) with his "I'm NOT a Tailor. I don't do that F'ing Sh**" confessional. Nice.

How Is Everyone? Don't Ask

Tim walks in and makes the mistake of asking how everyone is doing. One word: MISERABLE. They all looked like they would rather be getting root canals. Tim tries to relax the tension in the air by telling "Team Six" how he liked what they were working on. On the other hand, Tim thought the "Team Five" creations were looking a bit clownish. Then, in a rare moment of Season 10 light-heartedness, Elena jokes, dubbing the "Team Five" boys the "Silk Chiffonies" because of their constant use of silk chiffon. She then calls Raul "Eddie Munster." I secretly chuckle.

Editor-in-Chief Elena

The following day, both teams meet up at Go Studios to direct, style and set-design their respective Marie Claire @Work shoots. Miss Elena is on FIRE, directing everyone and everything. She's being Negative Ninny, quarrelling with teammates Melissa and "Eddie Munster" Raul. Raul argued that they should use some of the furniture that was provided while Elena favored a clean, white backdrop. I liked the clean background of the photographs but I also agreed with Raul that they should use something — or else I could just see the judges calling them out on it.

Color Me Melissa

It's Runway Day and who was on Top and who was the Weakest Link? I loved Dmitry's color-blocked dress, but the judges argued about the appropriateness of the peek-a-boo back, except for Miss Heidi who favors the less appropriate. I also liked Christopher's outfit with his signature ruffled skirt. Eventually, the judges, including Marie Claire's Editor-in-Chief Joanna Coles, chose Melissa's design as the winner and I can (kind of) see why: the color was impacting and it was dramatic, especially in the photograph. I give Melissa points for NOT using black, I just didn't agree with Nina's assessment that it was "wearable." Wearable for a fashion diva like Nina might mean something totally different than the average woman. In addition, Melissa's "Team Six" won the Marie Claire @Work photoshoot sub-challenge and will be featured in the magazine. Congrats.

The Weakest Link ... and Weakest Goodbye

In the bottom were Gunnar and Raul. It would make sense for Gunnar, who was on the "losing" team to be the one out. But, oddly enough, Raul, from the WINNING TEAM, was booted. Were his designs/creations bad? Yes. Was Gunnar's dress horrible? Yep. Was one worse than the other? Looked like a tie to me. But in the end, Gunnar looked like an angel compared to that awful, cringe-worthy goodbye in which Raul said to Elena, "I hate your a**!" amongst other things. Let's just say for the sake of argument that Elena is an awful person. Still, really? On camera, that's how you want to go? That's the last image you want people to remember of you? Classy with a capital "K," I say. He then doubled-down with his "I don't make garments in 5-7 hrs!" comment to the camera. Darling Raul: why did you sign up for this show? You did know that you were going to have to make garments in 5-7 hrs, right? Bitter Eddie Munster Party of One. Adios Raul. Next time watch your potty mouth and get a spoonful of humbleness and think about your goodbyes, por favor.