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Sweet Tooth Couture

By kim_messina Fri., Jul. 27, 2012 ,5:07 am EDT

Last week, Season 10 of "Project Runway" premiered with the "Biggest Fashion Show" in "Runway" history. This week, our little ol’ show loses not an ounce of couture steam and keeps the strong momentum going with one of the most iconic — and beloved by fans — "Project Runway" challenges, the "Make a dress out of crap you would NEVER use to make a garment challenge" … in other words, yes kids, it’s the Unconventional Challenge. I’ve always said that this is a fun challenge to watch by the fans and TV viewers alike, but in terms of it being a guide rule in finding the "Next Best American Fashion Designer"… not so much.

Candy Re-Run

As "Plaid Heidi" saunters onto the runway congratulating last week’s winner — cutie Christopher — she tells the designers that this is "no time for child’s play." Instantly I think, "Oh Dear, they’re making clothes for bratty Upper East Side kids!" But oh no, I was wrong. Soon, the designers meet with Monsieur Gunn in front of Dylan’s Candy Store where he is flanked by it’s owner and CEO, Dylan Lauren (Yes, of Ralph Lauren fashion blue blood), announcing that their second challenge will be to create a look out of candy using materials bought from Dylan’s Candy Store naturally. Now, I remember back in Season 4, the challenge was done at the Hershey’s Times Square store (Rami won it), so it seemed like a slight re-run challenge idea to me, but one figures that it’s difficult to come up with new "Unconventional Challenges" year after year.

Gunnar and Christopher: Please Get a Room

After a mad "Candy Dash," the designers get their sugar tooth couture fix, buy out half the store and then head to Parsons to #makeitwork! The workroom quickly begins to resemble a 5-year-old’s birthday party after a piñata has exploded. Several designers are spending their early hours doing muslin dresses to build the foundation for their candy creations. Others are crushing candy, gluing candy … or just eating it! And then there’s Gunnar Siriano 2.0 and cutie Christopher who spend a lot of their time being Bitchy Queens (more so Gunnar than Christopher) talking smack and "throwing shade." It’s only the second week (In real time, it’s only been like TWO DAYS since they’ve met each other!), but there’s already this weird tension between them. I have a feeling that either A) Gunnar feels threatened because he thought he was going to be the only "twinky gay" or B) They just need to GET A ROOM! But I digress, let’s move on…

Coochie Shorts + Glue Gun = Disaster

Tim visits the workroom — in his very expensive custom plaid suit, tie and pocket hankie (Things have a come a long way since his "Banana Republic" days) and sees the designers' progress, or lack of. He likes Sonjia’s shark gunmmies and what she’s doing with them and sees the potential of where Ven’s look could end at. On the other hand, Tim is very concerned and disappointed at Andrea BA MA and MFA’s "I just got some candy-in-a-wrapper-and-called-it day" look. Elena is hot gluing Piña Colada twizzlers, while wearing hoochie-coochie hot shorts and little else. Naturally, the glue falls onto her arm, then leg, burning her, thereby needing emergency medical attention. As Christopher rightly noted, who uses a HOT GLUE GUN wearing hoochie shorts??!! Amen Sistah!

Cotton Candy Puke-a-Licious and Lantie’s Delusions of Grandeur

Next day, the designers return to the workroom and some designers (Buffi and JapaFro Kooan) find out that using cotton candy might not have been a good idea since it deflated creating something that looked like a 7-year-old got sick after a raucous birthday party! Lantie started fresh making some concoction out of umbrella fabric and little candy. She proudly states, "I’ve never seen anything like it!" Lantie, let me inform you: there’s good reason why you’ve never seen anything like it — it’s NOT CUTE! Poor thang is having delusions of Candy Grandeur. We can guess where she’s going to end up on the runway.

Twizzler Road Kill

Runway time and "Snakeskin Jumpsuit Heidi," Michael Kors and Nina Garcia are there, along with Guest Judge Dylan Lauren of course. The show begins and the designs are a combination of fun quirky creations fit for a candy store window and some "What the Heck is That?" messes. I was perplexed by all the tacky 1998-esque midriff-showing looks. I could just see Nina’s face wince a thousand times while several tasteless midriff-baring tops kept walking down the runway. And poor Elena and her dress: by the time the runway show had ended, half her Piña Colada Twizzlers had fallen off and ended up as candy road kill.

Runway Eye Candy

But in terms of good, there was GREAT! Sonjia and Ven’s were standouts. Using jelly beans, white chocolate-covered almonds and shark gummies, Sonjia created an outstanding dress. I loved how the shark gummies seem to be swimming in the neckline creating what looked like a blue bejeweled neck piece on the dress. But then, there was Ven. His strapless dress was something out of an Atelier Versace or George Hobeika Haute Couture Collection. Nina said it was "sublime." As I predicted in the "Road to Runway Casting Special," Ven gave Nina a Colombian fashion orgasm! He wins this challenge easily, getting immunity. I loved how respectful and thankful he was to the judges. Class.

Toddlers & Tiaras Puke-a-Licious

At the bottom were Buffi and Lantie. Buffi wove chewy candy to create a top section but then got what looked like a tablecloth and slapped it together to make a skirt. It was too much pink, too much tackiness, too much of everything. She looked like Paris Hilton’s really, really, REALLY tacky 5 year old daughter! As Kors said, "It was 'Toddlers & Tiaras' Gone Bizarre'" But worse was Lantie. She literally got some umbrella fabric, then slapped some candy flowers on the skirt and declared herself done. Her failure in transforming the fabric is what caused her loss. And the nail in her coffin was when she used the "I didn’t have enough time" excuse. Oh huneeeyyyyy!!!! I was about to SCHOOL her via my yelling at the TV, but luckily my Colombian sister from another mother did it perfectly. Adios Lantie and take your time management excuses — and candied umbrella — with you. I hear it’s raining in NYC right about now and well, you might need it for cover.