The Unsophisticated '70s
Hello, Blog Readers! Can you believe we've made it this far? (Don't answer that! It's a rhetorical question!) I LOVE reading everyone's comments, because they are always enlightening, thoughtful and make me feel at least somewhat "sane" when I get some people agreeing with me. I've discussed Joshua M. being a Mean Girl, and you agreed. I've also talked about Madonna I mean Olivier and my distaste for his "I Hate Fat People" comments. And, yes, y'all agreed. So, let's see if you agree with me on this week's analysis … Let's begin this week's Recap:
Last Week Was NOT a '70s Challenge!
We are now down to seven designers, and Heidi tells them that they will have to "look to the past" for inspiration. First thing I thought was, "Oh, Ol' Man Bert should do well!" Cut to the Parsons workroom. They meet up with Tim Gunn and Heather Archibald of Piperlime, who tells them that they are to create a look inspired by the "Sophisticated '70s," and that the winning look will go into production and be sold on Piperlime.com. Instantly, the designers scoff, saying, "Well, the last challenge was '70s and that didn't go so well ..." Oh, sit down, kids. Poppa Nick needs to discuss something. Here's a news flash: Last week's challenge WAS NOT '70s! See, that was their problem. The Challenge was actually to Design a Look for a Rock Band. That shows you how much these designers didn't "get it." And by their comments in last night's episode, they still don't.
Bring a Purse to Mood, Ladies
They all go to Mood and Miss Anya loses her money (A very "Amazing Race" lose-your-passport moment!) and is generously given $11.50 by Anthony Ryan to buy one piece of fabric. If ever there was a Make It Work moment, it is now. There have been many "limited budget" "Project Runway" Challenges in the past, but never one in which one contestant had $11 and the rest had $100. If Anya hadn't already secured her role as Fan (and Judges') Favorite before, she sure has now!
They're Not Your Friends
Later, Tim informs the designers that they have to create a second look with an additional $50. They will have the same two days to complete both looks which should be no problem, right?! Not for these designers. In addition, the girls the REAL girls, Anya, Laura and Kimberly have made some sort of a "pact" that if one of them was doing something "Style Questionable," they would inform each other. Are you kidding me? Are we in high school? It's a COMPETITION. None of these people are your friends. Friends are what you have for, say, FIVE YEARS, not people you met THREE WEEKS ago. Viktor finally turns on his inner Sassy Chola Girl and enlightens the ladies on how SILLY this "Girls' Pact" is. Gracias, Viktor.
Two Days and Two Outfits
Let's get to the Fashion. Two days later, it's Runway Day, and some of the designers Anya and Kimberly in particular are barely finished. Seriously? Two days. These designers should not have a problem making one outfit per day. The only person who should have been struggling would be Viktor, with his tailored pantsuit, and he sailed through the challenge effortlessly. Nevertheless, Headmaster Gunn reins it all in and declares "Time's up," and somehow, they make it work. Guest Judge is socialite and red-carpet and fashion-show-front-row favorite Olivia Palermo. I didn't realize she also had a new position as well: Guest Editor for Piperlime.com. Interesante.
'70s Classy, NOT Trashy
The runway looks come out and instantly in my eyes Viktor's seems to be the most polished. He did two great looks, while most of the other designers missed the mark on one or BOTH. Bert's printed-chiffon one-shoulder tunic with black hot pants was OK but was verging on a "1982 Prostitute at 3 am." His second dress which won the chance to be sold on Piperlime.com was not that good. The hem was (unintentionally) pointed at the sides and, frankly, looked too "basic" even for It-Has-to-Sell-to-All-of-America Production. When Anya's jumper came out, I just knew she would be the winner. It had the print and silhouette that would be very Web-friendly and was chic enough that you could imagine it being worn to a posh resort in the Caribbean.
Just Because You Were Born in 1985 ...
At the bottom were Anthony Ryan and Joshua. Joshua's pieces were, as the judges said, schizophrenic. The plaid pants made the size 2 model look HUGE, and the mixing of prints was tasteless. It was over-the-top, and there was NOTHING sophisticated or '70s about it. While the judges were deliberating, "Mean Girl Joshua" reared his ugly head and got in a cat fight with Viktor when he tried to give excuses on how he didn't know what the '70s were since he was born in the '80s. Viktor got his Chola Girl out again and called him on it. Listen, I do A LOT of 1930s/1940s-inspired gowns for my NIKOLAKI Collection and I wasn't born until … (never mind!), but I have done my research and KNOW my fashion history. Joshua should too. No excuses.
Tasteless and Mean, or Boring and Nice?
In the end, it was NOT Joshua who went home, but Fan Favorite Anthony Ryan and his depressing Granola-Crunch Hippie-Dippie girls. While Joshua's were over-the-top bad fashion, Anthony Ryan's were boring and not-so-cute clothes made for Cult Girls who've drunk the "Ugly Fashion" Kool-Aid. So, I ask you: Is the final lesson that over-the-top, tasteless designs and being a b**** always win over Boring and Nice? Take those lessons and "talk amongst yourselves."