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Bridesmaid Runway Wars: Pink Poly, Peplum Goiters and more DRAMA!
Well, kids, it took a while to wash off last week's nasty and stressful team challenge episode where designer Gretchen Jones turned into General Patton Runway and all of her teammates drank her "Just-do-as-I-say" and "Boy, Isn't-Michael C.-such-a-bad-designer/patternmaker/draper/sewer" Kool-Aid. Only a slight (and secretly wonderful) residue of Tim Gunn bi***-slapping them at the end of the episode was left! With that, we begin the next challenge, and one filled with more Michael C.- hatin', lots of fire-igniting polyester and plus-size issues. Let's begin, shall we?
Never a Bride … Always a (Tacky) Bridesmaid
Heidi in her signature tight and very mini ensemble informs the remaining designers that they will have new models. Oh, dear! You know what that means: It's either Mommy Madness or unruly little bratty children. Nope. Eleven women walk out, wearing hideous bridesmaid concoctions. We now know EXACTLY what this challenge would be: Create a fashionable look that these women can wear from these tacky bridesmaid dresses.
The designers are allowed to choose their models. Come on, kids. Prove all of non-fashionista America wrong and choose a non Size 4 girl and don't let them think that we, designers, are "size-ists." NOT! Cuchi-Cuchi Casanova, last week's winning designer, gets to pick first, and of course he picks the tall and perfect Size 4 Julia. One-by-one, the contestants choose, and the ones left are the "plus size" ladies. Are you kidding me? Really? The last ones standing are the lovely and full-bodied ladies. Can I just speak for the average size woman that is NOT a Size 4: This is just PATHETIC! (There, I said it!)
Tim vs. Gretchen: Not!
Post-Mood shopping back at Parsons, the designers get their Tim visit. Everyone's waiting for some sort of confrontation between "'Project Runway' Bus Driver" Gretchen and "Tell It Like It Is" Gunn, but, alas, it doesn't happen. Casanova says "EXACTLEEEEEE" about three hundred times (to Tim's critiques) and Mommy Peach decided to be the new "Miss Jay" and teach her "model" how to "work it"! (Oh, Peach, you are a closet DRAG QUEEN). And, of course, 98% of the designers are still hating on Michael C., calling him an incompetent designer.
You Like Me … You REALLY Like Me!
As a "surprise twist", Tim later announces that there will be a Designer Showcase where they will get to show their looks in a Gallery Space on their "models" as innocent NYC bystanders get to vote on what design they like the best. Attendees were given buttons to drop into fishbowls in front of each designers' dress. Mondo looked happy while poor Michael Drummond and Peach had reason to worry. Here, some he said, she said smack talk "drama" occurs between Ambulance Ivy and Michael C.
What Am I Missing?
On that note: What the heck is going on with all the Michael C. hating? It's not like he's being a Santino Rice or a Wendy Pepper or he's going into the workroom, arms outstretched with an "In Your Face" attitude. I just don't get it. Michael C. seems like a nice guy. I can only blame it on a "hyper clique mentality" where they all start believing one person who starts saying stuff. (I wonder who?) I've been in the "Project Runway" "bubble" and, yes, it's a surreal environment, so I can understand the stress and how it can make people edgy. But again, I just don't get it. He doesn't seem like a nasty person. Am I missing something? It can't be the editing. My mantra is if someone seems nasty on reality TV, they are FIVE times worse in real life. It's NOT the editing kids! Trust me.
It's runway day and the judges are ready to see the Bridesmaid-to-Runway transformations. On hand, along with the usual subjects, is the winner of the "Project Runway" "Most Frequent Guest Judge" Award, designer Cynthia Rowley. There were several capri pants and bad Camel toe crotch ones at that! (I'm talking to you, Casanova and Ivy). I actually liked Michael Drummond's cocktail dress and thought he would be in the top. (Shows you how much I know!).
Michael C.'s Revenge
The best, according to the judges, were Mondo's pink-and-black cocktail number, as well as Michael C.'s "Heidi Klum Would DIE for this" number. I thought Mondo's was a bit too "cartoony," very Judy Jetson-meets-"Jersey Shore", but it was well made. It was Michael C.'s black (very) mini dress that won (much to ALL of his fellow designers' dismay!) on his Size 2 perfect runway-walking "model." (Of course.) He definitely reworked that tacky bridesmaid gown into a hot and sexy little black dress.
Holly Hobbie Halter, Goiter Peplum Meets Do-Rag Mosquito Netting
On the bottom were Valerie and her color-blocked mess of a dress (I actually liked the original bridesmaid gown better!) and do-rag-wearing (what was that about?!) Michael Drummond's plunging neckline design. I get it: He went from bad bridesmaid dress to cocktail dress. Not a big leap. And then he used cheap fabrication that looked like mosquito netting. But I thought his model, Jacleen, looked great and the dress fit well. But it was Mommy Peach's "Holly Hobbie Halter Goiter Dress" (thanks, Miss Kors!) who was out of the wedding redo aisle. It was refreshing to see Peach have such a positive attitude from her experience. That is class. After all the drama, it was nice to see so much "Project Runway" love. Bye, Mommy Peach, we'll miss you and your pink sunglasses sweater!