Thursdays at 9/8c
"Double D" Drama
Last night was the 8th episode of "Project Runway" Season 9. And Bryce was OUT …Yes, I just told you how it ends. Why? Because the editors ruined it for me too: The episode was barely 30 seconds in when Bryce laments that he’s never won a challenge and in fact, has been at the bottom several times and is wondering if he's the “Weakest Link.” Um, Ya Think So??? I immediately exclaimed (in my loud voice), “He's GONE!!” (Thanks, Editors). Oh, and did I mention Joshua won? Yep. Sorry to ruin that for you, but right as the nails were being pounded into Bryce’s "Project Runway" coffin, “Orange-ua Joshua” was stating how he was in a “Much better place today” ... Seriously, RIGHT AFTER Bryce. Thanks, Editors, Part Deux.
Now that I got that out of the way, let’s talk about the rest of the episode. The nine remaining designers (can we just get to the Top 5 PLEASE???) are sitting there as Miss Heidi Klum brings in what they think involves their next Challenge: nine men. Immediately, the Gay Claws start coming out as several of the designers don't want to pick “the Fatties” (Yes, I am talking to you, Madonna British Accent Olivier!). Jeeeesus! Now even the men have to deal with what women have been dealing with for AGES from these “kooky” Fashion Designers; it’s a syndrome I call BPB, short for Body Prejudicial Behavior, and this group has it in spades!
It’s the Women, Silly Kids
Soon enough after several ignorant “I'm so pissed to be left with the FAT one!” comments, the designers find out that they will actually be designing for THEIR WIVES and/or GIRLFRIENDS, whom they haven't met yet. The designers meet with the men and discuss their thoughts on what would be nice and cute for their respective female partners. Frankly, I wish they had taken this to a whole other level and decided to make this a Gay & Lesbian Partners Challenge, in honor of the NYC Freedom to Marry Act. Now, that would have been a good one! Just sayin’.
Anyhow, the designers go shopping, and the highlight here is that Madonna I mean Olivier doesn't know what “Double D” means (supposedly that is his client’s bra size). Oh Olivier, I am about to slap you UPSIDE the head! First he does not like so-called “Fat Men”; now it’s the “Big Boobs.” That boy has some major issues. Wait until his metabolism hits. Or better yet, wait until he wants to design for the rest of America. Oh, and I do not believe for a HOT MINUTE that Olivier didn't know what a Double D was. Olivier looks like he is two free drink tickets away from doing Drag at Barracuda NYC. I think he would make a great Imelda Marcos, don't you?
Amateur Hour: The Private Client Edition
Back at Parsons, the designers are working on their creations under the watchful eye of their clients as Tim walks in after some lunch at Le Cirque (I’m just assuming!). He deems Viktor’s “Just perfect” (it was!). Bryce is contemplating his use of Pepto-Bismol pink in his dress creation (it looks really badly made!), but Tim assures him that his client looks good in that color. He questions Anya’s kimono sleeve addition a bit (I would too!). He calls Olivier’s design “crayon-y” and clocks him on having “time management issues.” At the same time, Olivier is having some problems connecting and interpreting his client’s desires quelle surprise. It’s “Amateur Hour” up in here when it comes to little Olivier and working with nonsize 0 people.
The Dress I Made in 1998
It’s the Day of the Runway and the judges are ready. Actress and one of the models in my First Ever NIKOLAKI Los Angeles Fashion Week Show back in 2003! Malin Akerman, was on hand as the Guest Judge. The results are in. The Top were Anya, Joshua and Viktor. Viktor created a perfect ensemble that looked chic and modern. I almost fell off my couch when they said Anya’s was one of the best. I think I designed and made that dress back in 1998. How was a one-shoulder, asymmetrical and high-low printed dress with a kimono sleeve relevant in 2011? And judge Michael Kors went on and on about how it was THE PERFECT Gallery Opening Dress. Maybe for South Beach in 1998. I actually liked Joshua’s creation. Yes, he’s a bully, and a whole lot of other things, but he was able to rein in the crazy and make a cute dress that, as I stated at the beginning of the post, won the challenge. Viktor’s was actually my favorite this week, and again, I couldn't understand why the judges did not choose him.
The bottom 3 were Anthony Ryan, ol’ man Bert and Bryce. Bert’s plunging-neckline sheath dress was well made but yes, it’s already in EVERY STORE across America. Anthony Ryan’s creation was very “Retro-Vintage” but not in a good way and, as Kors said, reminded him of a “Super Hero Ice Skater” (love him!). So in the end it was Bryce’s time to go. The judges liked the pink, but the dress itself was badly made, fit poorly and had way too many details that didn’t work together. His departure was something so obvious to everyone involved that even the editors couldn’t wait until the end of the episode to let everyone know!