Laura Bennett Blog
Category: "episode 3"
Because I participated in this episode I was apprehensive to watch it. Seeing myself on TV just reminds me that I have to do something about my horrible posture, which isn’t going to happen, so I usually just don’t watch. Of course I had no choice this week, I had to watch so I could write this article and as it turned out my fears were unwarranted. I only ended up in about 2.8 seconds of edited footage, and even I can stand myself for that short amount of time. What was painful was how differently things seemed in the edited version of the show than they did in real life. Allow me to dish.
In the episode Kenley seemed sweet, gracious, cooperative and thankful. In real life she was anything but. She sucked the oxygen right out of the room and made it impossible for anyone else to breathe. She was loud. She was obnoxious. She was dressed in some naughty schoolgirl stripper costume while claiming that Heidi is the one who is clueless and has no taste. She complained that the breakfast buffet on the set wasn’t good enough. (I asked her what she would have been served for breakfast back at her apartment in Brooklyn.) She barked repeatedly at the hair and makeup people to make her look like a “modern Grace Kelly” in a completely graceless manner. She was hot. She was cold. She was tired of waiting. It was exhausting.
But craziest of all, Kenley took complete credit for the dress that Ven and Fabio designed and made. She demanded the silhouette. She showed them the length. She instructed them to buy Navy blue silk gazar. I haven’t see a lot of Ven’s work, but I’ve seen quite a bit of Kenley’s and I am pretty sure he doesn’t need her help. I’m just going to say that the editing was kind to her. And that if she had been on my season there would have been a murder in the workroom.
There was also a discrepancy between what I saw happening with my own designers and how things appeared in the episode. Elena, having been in the bottom in the previous challenge was a nervous wreck. She was willing to take on the major share of the garment construction in order to make things right. Buffi seemed to flit around the room, taking it easy and complaining to the other designers how uptight Elena was. In the episode, Buffi came of as lighter in spirit and less worried, but willing to do the work that needed to be done. She actually appeared to be a necessary foil to Elena’s panic.
In real life, the white dress that Gunnar and Kooan made for Irena was a hot mess. The fabric was shiny and cheap looking. The construction was horrid. Seams were puckering all over the place and when Irena asked them to be fixed, they only made them worse. The half moon ass seam was a disaster and it was Irena who suggested they add the chiffon train at the last minute to hide the sewing flaws. The dress fit her terribly. It was extremely tight and virtually see-through. The hem was way too short and it was crooked. Those designers are lucky that Irena has a rocking curvy body and would look good in a potato sack because that dress was a disaster. They are also lucky that Heidi likes tight and shiny. When the dress ended up in the top it was like, “What just happened?”
On the opposite end of the spectrum, April looked awesome in the silver silk chiffon dress made by Dmitry and Melissa. It was well tailored and moved beautifully on the runway. The detail on the back was stunning, just the type of dress you could see on an actress doing the over-the-shoulder photo pose. I was surprised it didn’t end up in the top. (April and I wanted to trade dresses! She preferred my goth bridal gown.)
The part of the show that did come off exactly as it happened in real life was how bad Christopher and Andrea’ s and Raul and Alicia’s dresses were. Anya wasn’t happy with the brown gown, but she remained relatively easy going about it. Mila was not a happy camper with the results of her designer’s efforts. She seemed to take the poor outcome of the gown personally. The dress, as simple as the design was, looked like a child with absolutely no sewing experience made it. There were no elements to the design that were difficult to execute. There was no excuse for that mess. I’m not sure how the judges decided to send Raul home over Alicia, because in my opinion, they both needed to go.
It’s the first time ever in the history of “Project Runway!” Not the outside runway show, but the fact the not one garment in the episode had a single redeeming quality! They all sucked: the top three, the bottom three and the one in the middle. Picking the winner and loser was only a matter of choosing the ones that sucked the least and the worst. Even the judges had more criticisms than complements for the winning garment.
And whose idea was it to have creepy, malformed people as models? Don’t the producers know the circus scares people? The models did their best and tried to add some drama for the designers, but those stilts made it impossible for them to move gracefully. Their jerking motions were so distracting. On a runway, a models walk can make or break an outfit—these outfits didn’t stand a chance. This was not fashion illustration come-to-life; it was creepy freak show people with awkward artificial limbs.
The Ones That Sucked the Most
It’s official: I have broken up with Bert. Bert was obnoxious to Viktor. He made no attempt to work as a team from the start. He kept saying it wasn’t his design, and wasn’t his direction but it didn’t matter, the design was doomed at Mood when they chose the fabric.
I also had a problem with the way Josh treated Julie. It looked to me like Julie was making a huge effort to be a team player. She came up with a concept, did most of the work, took direction well, and was completely open to Josh’s need for tacky embellishments. It pissed me off when he told Heidi that if they were to lose, Julie should be the one to go. Choosing that tacky black and white zigzag fabric alone is an offense punishable by auf wiedersehen.
Bryce is obsessed with grain. Actually a bodice cut off grain will have some give and could actually fit better. If he saw that she was having trouble with the construction he should have stopped making his tutu and helped her instead of gossiping about her lack of training and the importance of cutting on the grain. And grain or not, there was nothing about that outfit that Bryce contributed that was successful. Fallene was tired and her spirit was broken and Bryce’s fabric grain lecture pushed her over the edge. Personally, I think Bryce let Fallene down, not the other way around. I laughed when she said she felt like there was a black cloud over her—there was! It was Bryce’s huge tulle tutu! For the second week in a row, I think Bryce should have been sent home.
The One That Sucked In the Middle
The Ones That Sucked the Least
Cecilia and Danielle. WTF? The hair, the fabric, the color combination, the Mormon collar, the out-of-left-field jewels. I don’t get anything about it and I certainly don’t understand what Kim Kardashian got about it. In my season a talented designer named Allison was sent home because she sent a model down the runway with bad hair. This episode’s fashion was so bad that strange inflated hairdos have to be completely overlooked just to eek out a top three.
Anthony and Laura produced a “Mad Max” feather-shouldered, red flowing number. Fine, give them the win. It was the best of the worst. If only because it looked the least circus like and their model was the most successful mover on the runway. It was gracious of Anthony to recommend Laura for the win. He’ll have other chances. I will be surprised to see Laura in the winners circle again.
I have singled out garments and labeled them the worst outfit on “Project Runway” to date, but for the first time in the history of “Project Runway”, I declare this the worst runway show ever.