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Laura Bennett Blog
Category: "project runway season 8 episode 4"
Episode 4 opens with Gretchen being taken into the police station for questioning because she is a person of interest in the poisoning of Ivy. Gretchen is a fast thinker and sends her lawyers to the hospital to offer Ivy a deal: In exchange for dropping the charges, Gretchen will form an alliance with Ivy and take her along to the top three of every challenge. Ivy accepts the deal and returns from the hospital with a diagnosis of "dehydration." In an interview segment, Ivy winks and tells the viewers that she is ready to get back to work because she was "inspired" in her hospital room. (I had an advanced viewing copy, and all this may not be on the nationally televised version, for legal reasons.)
Forward to Parsons, where the designers get their next challenge. The models are paraded out onto the runway in Philip Treacy hats. Their mission is to create a dress to complement one of the hats. The designers get to choose which hat they want, but the hat goes with the model, so all the designers choose their past model regardless of the hats on their heads. Kristin is the last man out, so she gets stuck with a giant orchid hat that looks like something from a grade-school production of "Alice in Wonderland."
I am just going to say this here and now: We are all expected to pretend these hats are completely normal, but the truth is, the majority of them are ridiculous. Andy gets a satellite dish. Michael Drummond gets a giant fortune cookie. April gets a Whoville coolie hat. Michael Costello gets a lobster, and A.J. gets a model of Saarinen's TWA terminal made out of straw.
If any one of these hats had been made by a PR contestant and sent out on the runway, the judges would scream "Costume!" and promptly send him home. Only Lady Gaga could or should, for that matter get away with any one of these hats.
Björk would try, but we would be laughing for years.
The designers go to Mood, where Mondo hears voices in his head.
On to the workroom, where Kristin doesn't know what to do with her orchid. I think she should make a green column dress, because a stem is the only way to go. Suddenly she thinks of it not as a flower, but as a lady flower, a vagina, and she is inspired. She remembers that she wore orchids in her hair on her wedding day, and she had sex on her wedding day, and she wants to have sex now, but she looks around the room and finds no takers, so she gets to work on some (wait for it) serious ugly. She says she is tired of being in the middle and wants a critique, positive or negative. Be careful what you wish for, Kristin. I'm thinking she is lucky to be there after that party-store disaster she sent out last week, and furthermore, I made it all the way to the finals hidden safely in the middle. It's not such a bad place to be at this point in the game.
Also in the workroom, April is creating a fashion-forward Pamper, Michael Drummond is making a top out of the cardboard packaging his giant fortune cookie was shipped in, Casanova is determined to show that he has taste, Christopher gets all "Mad Men" with brocade but thinks it's modern, Peach is trying to marry her country-club aesthetic with a huge sweeping plumed number, and Michael Costello threatens to quit when Tim tells him to start over, but he is reenergized when he receives a phone call from his son, who may or may not have caught a fish. Fish! Lobster! Water! Shimmer! He's on to something!
The designers send their models to the L'Oréal Paris Makeup Room, where, inexplicably, Mondo instructs his artist to draw a mustache on his model with eyeliner. That must be what the voices he heard in Mood told him to do.
Heidi comes out on the runway wearing the least offensive Philip Treacy hat she could find. It is a rose, which still looks stupid and proves my point that these hats are unwearable by anyone who is remotely interested in their fashion reputation. In the cheesiest editing ever, a snippet of Seal's "Kissed by a Rose" plays.
Several times during the runway show, Nina literally uses her cards to shield her eyes from the ridiculous hats. The safe designers are excused from the runway. Casanova is safe with a simple black dress that is actually the only dress on the runway that should be worn with any of these hats. The judges love Michael Drummond's cardboard top, but the win goes to Michael Costello for his harmonious sea goddess.
Ivy is horrified that Michael Costello wins while she and Gretchen are not in the top. She has never been in the top, and certainly doesn't deserve to be this week for the drunken-mother-of-the-bride outfit she sent out, but she was really counting on her alliance with Gretchen. She may have her case reopened.
April's Pamper and Kristin's reproductive flower are up for the auf. And the auf goes to Kristin, rightly so. I actually liked April's outfit. I think it worked with the coolie hat, and resort was a great way to go. Michael Kors, who in his Fall 2010 show paired panties with fur and leg warmers, shouldn't be throwing stones.