Car Is the New Bus
Why the bus? Why do we throw someone under the bus? Why not the ditch? Throw someone in the ditch, or off the roof. Or better yet, out of the moving car. From here on out, let's all agree to throw someone out of the moving car. Settled.
This episode begins with April having to leave her womb of safety now that her mom has been eliminated. Michael C. is hurt that no one will congratulate him, and Valerie feels undervalued.
Heidi is too busy trying to figure out how to belt satin harem fatigues to give the designers a new challenge, so she sends them to Tim, who passes off the job to Michael Kors. Looking bloated and farty, Michael tells the designers that they are to design a resort-wear outfit that expresses their point of view. In order to help them feel the resortness of it all, each designer gets a pair of Michael Kors rip-off Ray-Bans. It seems to work for everyone but Mondo, who thinks his underwear is resort wear. Personally, I think Mondo's idea of resort wear is pretty much on target, because I would bet that .003 percent of the population actually either a.) spends any time at a resort or b.) shops for it from a special collection, because piling your kids in a minivan and heading for the Jersey shore requires no special wardrobe.
Shopping at Mood yields no drama worth mentioning. It isn't until the designers return to the workroom that the monkey wrench comes flying out of left field. (Now that we are no longer using the bus cliché I feel free to cram two others into one sentence.) Tim enters with the dreaded velvet bag and informs the designers that they will not be executing their own designs. The real fashion industry is a tough place, baby, and you need to learn to give directions to a sample maker. The designers immediately start taking baby steps away from Michael C.
Everyone seems happy with their assigned sample maker, except for Mondo, who gets Michael C. They turn out to be a match made in heaven, the hated one and the unconnected one, and arm in arm they charm the judges with their camaraderie. Literally, arm in arm.
Ivy and Michael Drummond are not having as much luck. Ivy is hounding Michael to the point where he can't sew. She claims she is having to dumb down her design so that he can construct it. Here she goes again, talking the talk and never showing the goods. We hear a lot about what killer skills she has and what a great designer she is, but we have yet to see any evidence of it. Though I must admit she did a great job of putting together Michael Drummond's look, but it was a good design it has worked for Calvin Klein for years.
The garments are looking pretty good in the workroom, actually even better than they end up looking on the runway. A lot of long in the workroom becomes short on the runway, and I kind of like the long for the beachy resort look. Tim comes in and announces that the designers may now take possession of their own garment, and Ivy practically grabs Michael Drummond by his collar and throws him off the sewing machine chair. Trust me when I tell you that there is nothing she can do at this point to save this outfit. It's a tent over a tent inspired by the colors of the ocean on a rainy day.
Heidi comes out on the runway in her fifth "out" outfit in a row. I swear to god she looks like she has been shopping in my closet, and that's not a good place for her to be. She did take a scissor to the hem, though.
On the runway I immediately pick Andy's gray and purple bathing suit and cover-up as the winner. Uli likes it but claims he stole the design from her. (Uli is staying with me, and we are watching the episode together.) She chooses April's punk sheer baby-doll as the winner and notes that April has balls to send panties out on the runway after she was almost sent home for panties. I like April's outfit but I liked it better long in the workroom, and I would like to see a bit more positive space on the chest. But what do I know. April wins with short, predominantly negative space. Uli always beats me.
The sendoff is between Ivy and Casanova. I am looking at the two outfits side by side, and there is no question in my mind that Ivy's is the clear loser. At least Casanova's has a bit of shape to it. Ivy attempts to THROW MICHAEL D. OUT OF THE MOVING CAR, but Heidi is having none of it. Truthfully, the previews made her attempt look worse than it actually was. The fashion gods shine on Ivy (again), and in one of many ?!*? judging moments this season, Casanova is (wait for the last cliché) sent packing.