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Let’s Have a Ball-Ball!

By kim_messina Fri., Feb. 1, 2013 ,11:40 am EST

Following the first elimination the designers settle their stomachs with a chilled Pepto Bismol martini, and it’s a sigh of relief for the remaining 15 realizing they don’t have to return home crowned with the scarlet message of "I’ve been Auf Wiedersehen’ed!" For some, the uncertainty has begun to set in with the realization of the difficulty of the competition. Cindy says she’s feeling like she has been "run over by a truck"…well my love, if that’s how you feel after the first challenge, I’d advise you to put some diesel into it and step on the gas or pull off into the truck stop for an eternal cup of coffee! This is not "Freeway" with Reese Witherspoon and Keifer Sutherland; no one is holding you hostage. Over in the boys bunk, we have an episode of "Dr. Phil" on and Richard is giving James the best advice one could give after being in the bottom three last week which is, "Forget about the first challenge and move forward or else your creative energy will be destroyed." Well said Richard! There is a silence in the room when Heidi delivers the news that Team Keeping It Real and Dream Team will remain the as is. The expressions from the designers are that of utter shock and I can image a change of underwear for some!

There may be no "I" in "Team," but there IS an "I" in "SPiN"! SPiN New York that is, and "Balls" are their "business," so naturally I’m intrigued—who wouldn’t be! We are transported to an innovative social club surrounded by…none other than ping pong! I must be out of the NYC loop because apparently this is the new craze happening in New York and making waves across the country with its mixture of booze, burgers, boys, black lights, and booty! Definitely not my idea of Christiansingles.com, but it involves paddles, so I am down for the entertainment! I’m open to the idea of being impressed by a competitive gentleman that can kill a ping pong tournament while being intoxicated on Corona and shots of Tequila! My kind of man! "Hey! I’ll have another Corona Tu, and I’d prefer to drink it rather than wear it!"

What makes SPiN New York ever more interesting is one of the famous creators behind it all. She’s an Oscar winner, a ball-buster herself for liberal social and political activism causes, and our favorite Louise of all time: the timeless beauty and untouchable talent that is Susan Sarandon!

Tim informs the designers that they will be challenged to give a facelift to the ball boys and servers uniforms, which need to be functional yet fashionable. What better way to understand the intensity of the job, then to experience it! So the designers pull up their panties and get to work delivering cocktails and running around chasing ping pong balls. Now coming from a boy that worked in an insanely fashionable gay bar in Chelsea for four years while slinging drinks and checking coats while trying to balance my nightly ensembles for functionality with a fashion focus, I find it hard to believe chasing around balls can ever be glamorous, unless of course you are Marilyn Monroe and in that case we are speaking about a completely different set of them!

We head to Mood and it seems as though each team is waiting around for Disney’s "Fantasia" to happen and for their fabric to magically appear! Get on it (insert Tim Gunn’s voice) designers. It’s the most crucial 30 minutes and you are standing there letting your nails dry! From experience I used to leave Mood needing a Xanax and a touch up of bronzer. Bible!

Back at 1407, the Brother sewing machines are fired up and purring with anticipation as the teams begin to nail down their designs. Side note: when someone says that the machine keeps messing up and blames it on the machine, you can be sure it’s the designer that clearly doesn’t know how to properly use the machine, because Brother is top of the line and brilliant!

I’m curious to find out what else Daniel has learned "on the streets" because his skills and knowledge are solid, and let’s face it, you don’t just wake up with a moustache like that living under a rock and if you do, it’s a cultured glamorous one! Cindy fills us in on the fact that jackets are her "favorite thing to construct," and her least favorite thing is to NOT be "micromanaged"! Ben got it, we got it, and the universe got it! Now focus on your shawl "lapel" NOT "collar." Fact: there is no "collar" at all. James is off the starting blocks and quickly into work, unfazed that the group is still consulting with one another, but remember James said, "No biggie. It’s menswear. It’ simple!" We shall see James, don’t give me some button-up with a resemblance to a Hefty bag—I’ll be very disappointed!

Design note: a basic pair of denim is the quickest way to show "generic."

I’m immediately drawn to Joe’s energy and design sense. I enjoy the fact that he likes the "fun side of fashion" and is into "bold colors, textures and interesting patterns." He and Daniel are really taking the time to think about the client and the needs of these ball boys. I mean HELLO, who wouldn’t want to wear a harness at work? I’ve already sent in my application! Fingers-crossed!

OH AND…

Patricia! Girl! There may be no "I" in "team," but there is an "I" in "confidence," and you are missing that in your team. Look around, there are some really solid ideas on Team Keeping It Real, and you are boring us with the fact that you want to make a pair of leggings interesting with all this intricate seam detailing. Daniel was giving you the best advice possible and you looked over it like a homeless man begging for money on the streets. Word of advice, you will have your time to "shine bright like a diamond," but for now, concentrate on making another pair of leggings the world doesn’t need while a child starves somewhere.

Watching the runway show I felt like a schizophrenic going through highs and lows for each collection. However, in my personal opinion, I think that Team Keeping It Real was rightly on top, while the Dream Team will, well, keep dreaming for another week even though they pulled it together the day of the show. I loved Layana’s functional and fashionable skort and the fact that Daniel was so gracious to lend her the win. However, Michelle had my favorite look of the evening and I think would have been a clear winner had her team been in the top! Keep your head up doll, and remember being on the bottom only gives you one way to go, and that’s up!

OH AND…

James, remember: designing menswear isn’t as "simple" as it seems, packing your bags, "no biggie!"

(in the tone of Miranda from "The Devil Wears Prada")...That’s all.