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Crash Dummies

By laurareineke Fri., Aug. 16, 2013 ,11:12 am EDT

Having had a week to recover and think about losing our beloved Russian spitfire Sandro, I chose to take a stand on two counts. 1) I will NOT boycott vodka, and 2) I am furious that he flew off the handle because I do believe he really could have changed the field of this game! Sandro might have been over the top and aggressive, but that paralleled his passion for design and I respect him for that. Whether we can agree on that or not, what we can agree on is that there are quite a few designers that needed to be eliminated before him. The most comical thing about how this all ignited was that Helen was having a tantrum because she had immunity and the judges called her out on a mess of a garment, once again. Yep, I said it: We all know Kate pulled the weight on that sombrero dress. Whether Helen is uncontrollably crying during a runway show or complaining about how she was "barely safe," poor Sandro fed into her lunatic outcry which in turn infuriated him. She was raising her voice because he didn't care about her problem. To be honest, Helen doesn't warrant the time and energy it takes to argue with her. While none of this is truly good television or pertains to the garments at all, it's just a bunch of unstable designers who don't have the proper training and who thought being on this show was going to be a breeze. Flashback: Cindy from Season 11, who said "This is so much harder than it looks on TV!" was utimately eliminated third. If you can't sew, if you can't thread a machine, and if you don't have anything other than a pencil skirt to deliver (Miranda), then it's time to pack up your ratty bag of H&M clothes and hit the road!

Speaking of hitting the road, Lexus is on set with their new fleet of cars to help transport the designers around the city to gather their materials for this challenge. An unconventional challenge for the third time in 5 episodes and a team challenge for the second time, this should be a breeze for the babies that still need "breast feeding" in the words of Ken. Gathered in the Meatpacking District, the designers learn they have one day to create a three-look, luxurious, high-end mini collection. While each designer is responsible for an individual look, they also need to work together to make their collection cohesive. Oh the good old adjective "cohesive!" It's laughable on most seasons' team challenges, but this year it's hysterical! I don’t think they could have cast a more oddball, erratic, less cohesive in style and design focused group of individuals, some of whom even make your skin crawl.

Where was the button bag?! Miss Paula Deen must have been around, because this all seems like some drama is being cooked up in the "Project Runway" kitchen. What I was certain of was that things were about to get all-caps DEEP FRIED and deliciously frightening on Team Sue, Alexandria, and Ken.

Team Kate, Karen, and Jeremy seemed to be very excited and optimistic although you could sense that Kate was shocked to have another team challenge. Jeremy, following last week's mother-of-the-bride ensemble, has finally realized that “each challenge needs to be interpreted differently." All I can say is, raise a chilled glass of that Russian vodka and CHEERS to that, Jeremy. Better late than never to figure out how to play the game! There is ALWAYS an underlying challenge within the given challenge and if you have the ability to discover that, you will be golden! I do believe that was what Sandro was trying to understand and prod the judges for last week, but it wouldn't make the competition what it is if they just blatantly told you. But according to Helen, Sandro was a "ticking time bomb" anyway. Now that's the pot calling the kettle black! You can't run from destiny, Helen. In fact on your expiration date there will be a reenactment of Disney's "Fantasia" with buckets and mops on hand; something to catch your uncontrollable I-can-barely-breathe-I'm-so-upset tears, and a mop to clean up all the ink after you explode with fury.

Speaking of cleaning up, Ken is literally exterminating the place. NOTHING will be left alive when he is done, and I mean NOTHING! He can be one very Scary Mary on a mission, and I would pull my car off the road if I saw her headlights. I appreciate his focus and passion very much, and I can understand him feeling the pressure for his team, but he should have just focused on his design and what needed to be done, while merely lending assistance to Sue. It's ironic that Ken says he is living a nightmare because the expressions of terror on Sue and Alexandria faces are the ones white as ghosts! But honestly, it's not groundbreaking news that Sue doesn't know how to use the machines. We all saw her asking for help threading a bobbin. But to bring it up on the runway and expose it to the judges was not necessary. Sue would have eventually self-destructed in the competition, but that doesn't mean she self-destructs in her everyday life and design. I have seen what she is capable of doing on her time and on her machine and it's quite breathtaking. She has a very interesting eye for the way she cuts and designs. Perhaps it's organic because she really doesn't have the foundation and training, however it's Sue's signature and that should be applauded and respected. I think she took the words out of my mouth when she said "I think I was a little too optimistic about many aspects of this experience."

Having a little optimism and some glue definitely helped this week for Jeremy following last week's bottom three appearance. It's always pleasant to see a designer rise from the ashes and take the win. I disagree however with Heidi mentioning how "gorgeous" the model's chest looked. The bust cups looked like crushed snow-cone cups that you get water from at the doctor's office to wash down a pill, or even worse, the masks that construction workers wear while putting up drywall. There was also something so predictable about the little "beverage napkin" pieces at the hip. They looked haphazardly placed, and frankly we have seen it done before by a million designers. I personally think Kate's dress should have been the winner. Her cocktail dress had some really interesting design details, from plastic cutouts to rice embellishments, and to top it off the gorgeous elements at the shoulders just really elevated the look. AND it was analogous with her Lexus.

Kate lent Ken the advice that "if your team is sinking, put on your life vest first." He at least had his white leather harness on for the judging -- perhaps that's what saved him?

Do you think Ken should have been sent home too?