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Episode 6: You Got to Be Kidding!

By CaitlinBergmann Fri., Feb. 19, 2010 ,4:40 am EST

Project Runway season seven kid models in episode six Last week we left our two most boring designers, Anna and Janeane, alone on the runway. Anna got sent home, and it seems like it would obviously be Janeane's turn next ... Flash forward to this week, episode six, when Heidi announces that this week's looks will be made for an "attractive little group." Children. Yes, children. They come bursting out onto the runway like Heidi just gave birth to a litter, and the designers' heads are reeling. Seth is stoked about this challenge, since he has a daughter, and Jonathan declares his hatred of children, and that he is actually scared of them. They get only $50 and until midnight to make a fashionable outfit for a rug rat. A no-necked monster. A rotten little brat. OK, OK — a delightful little girl.

This challenge reminds me of the many years I have made Halloween costumes for my niece and nephew. Kids are tricky — they are opinionated and want what they want. If they want a pink dress and you decide it will look better in yellow, it may end up in shreds on the floor. Watch out — they are small and dangerous. The workroom is full of teeny-tiny little dress forms (I remember seeing these in storage on another floor at Parsons, and thinking that a children's challenge was going to come our way) as the designers intensely sketch and figure out how to make something for a whiny little munchkin. I mean sweet, adorable child.

At Mood, Anthony is busy fantasizing and playing the "What would I wear if I were a little girl?" game. Face it, Anthony, you probably wore a ruffled ball gown with a Patti LaBelle hairdo and long fake nails. That is not appropriate for the challenge ... this time. Jonathan has set about making something that is riskier than he has done before, and does his "best" Michael Kors imitation in the sewing room, shredding his own garment as it goes down the runway.

Project Runway season seven designer Mila Hermanovski's design in episode six Oh, how life is going to imitate art! Don't mess with Miss Kors  — she'll fry you in her tanning bed. Mila declares to anyone who will listen (anyone?) that she is more centered, and that everyone likes her better now (anyone?). See photo on the right for her designs.

In the workroom, Seth is making a super-cute black and white houndstooth hoodie, and Jay is making a cute plum dress with a Peter Pan collar. There seems to be lots of cute stuff going on ... but no Tim. Everybody notices a distinct lack of the Gunn one, and fear of a twist the next morning dances in their heads all night. Lo and behold, the morning DOES bring Tim Gunn with a twist. He announces that there will be no runway show today. It will be tomorrow — and there will be two looks from each designer. Shock!!! The designers have $100 and until midnight to come up with a corresponding adult look for their models, so that each will send a kind of mommy/daughter pair strutting down the runway. Emilio declares that he is screwed, and in one of the most fun moments this season, the designers bet on how long Anthony can keep his mouth shut. It turned out to be 14 minutes and 56 seconds. Be careful, guys: If Miss Anthony gets too quiet, it shows how dull everyone else is.

Tim comes to warn Amy that she is making clown clothes, to warn Jonathan that he has gone organza-petal crazy and to warn Janeane that she is "rocking Halloween" with her look. "Rocking Halloween"? Does Tim go to raves now? Did he move to the West Village? How hip. The kids come pouring in for their fittings, and the workroom becomes like "Romper Room on crack."

Anthony lovingly asks, "Do you all have an OFF switch?" No, Anthony, they don't. That's why they invented Ritalin.

The runway is going to be interesting, with the Easy-Baked Mr. Kors, the Iron-Fisted Ms. Garcia and guest judge Tory Burch.

Anthony
Big Girl: Fuchsia low-cut dress with OK ruffle detail. Just fine.
Little Girl: Print and fuchsia baby-doll dress that, again, is just fine.

Amy
Big Girl: What is this?!! Tim warned about clown clothes, but these multicolored fish-scale clamdiggers would be an embarrassment to even the tackiest clown on earth. Dame Edna wouldn't even wear these. Unfathomable.
Little Girl: A flower costume that my niece would have loved when she was three.

Ben
Big Girl: Boring secretary outfit in purple and white.
Little Girl: Just-as-boring lavender dress. Total snooze pair.

Project Runway season seven designer Seth Aaron Henderson's design in episode six Seth
Big Girl: Über-fashion-forward black and white checked Blade Runner jacket and pants from the cinematic future.
Little Girl: Super-cute black, white and pink hoodie with enough zippers, buttons and grommets to make any little girl ecstatic. (See photo on the left for his two designs.)

Jesse
Big Girl: Gray, black and red bondage cocktail dress that I thought was a little too tight and messy.
Little Girl: Off-kilter gray cutesy dress with red detail. Yeah, like little girls wear gray. Well, the ones in prison do.

Jonathan
Big Girl: "White Organza-Petal Monster" perhaps this could be be a new character on "Sesame Street." Yikes, this is really ugly.
Little Girl: Cute yellow dress with strange bolero jacket and seriously inappropriate use of white organza petals. That mocking tone of Michael Kors from the workroom came back to bite Jonathan in the ass. Get your rabies shot.

Maya
Big Girl: Black tight pants and a slutty yellow jacket for a hooker.
Little Girl: Unfortunately, it's a similar black tight pants and yellow jacket for the junior version. It looks like Mommy/Daughter day in Las Vegas.

Mila
Big Girl: Cute '60s trapeze swing coat in color-blocked black and white.
Little Girl: The cutest kiddie outfit by far, this super-adorable pink, green, black and white trapeze dress should have won easily.

Emilio
Big Girl: Strangely tight lavender-pink ugly bridesmaid dress for an '80s Robert Palmer video. ("Gonna have to face it, you're addicted to pink.")
Little Girl: The most boring kid's dress ... pink poufy nightmare worthy of a Betsy Wetsy doll.

Janeane
Project Runway season seven designer Janeane Marie Ceccanti's design in episode six Big Girl: Janeane practically eliminates herself with this messy '80s Norma Kamali knockoff in black, white and red. All that was missing were the leg warmers and the soundtrack to "Fame."
Little Girl: Red balloon dress that would take 10 minutes to make. She took five minutes, and made it a sloppy mess. (See photo.)

Jay
Big Girl: Overworked (in MY opinion, not the judges') plum and purple top with black pants. This just didn't seem wearable to me at all.
Little Girl: He started out with an adorable dress, and again overworked it with petals. (Was this gratuitous-petal week? Or just a tribute to Leanne?)

I loved it when Michael Kors said Jonathan's adult look appeared as if the model had gotten caught in a "tornado of toilet paper." Jonathan was in the bottom along with Amy and, of course, our resident loser-chick, Janeane. Seth happily took the win, and jumped up and down like a little girl. Flash back to last week, when Janeane was again in the bottom two, but survived … Well, this week she didn't. The judges did us a favor by getting rid of the last of the forgettable designers of Season 7, and Janeane was sent back to Loser Island.

See ya soon,

Chris