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Season Premiere July 24 at 9/8c

The official site for "Project Runway" Season 13 offers video, designer portfolios, Rate the Runway photos, blogs and more.

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Chris March Blog

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09
FRI

Episode 12: "Surely, You Can't Be Serious ..."

Posted By CaitlinBergmann 5:06am GMT

And stop calling me Shirley. OK, so here is what happened: I went to watch the disc of this show (yes, I get to watch a disc of the show early so I can write about it) and when I put it in, it got stuck. It got stuck at the ending, so I was forced to watch the judging on the runway to be able to get the disc out of my computer and start it over again. I was horrified, HORRIFIED by what I saw. I couldn’t believe my eyes and thought certainly some explanation would occur during the show to make me believe that the impossible wasn’t happening. But it didn’t. Here is what I was so shocked by: The judges not only didn’t eliminate Emilio for the piece of trash he turned out, but he won (WON!) and was told by Michael Kors that it was the best garment of the season.

Hell has frozen over. Pigs are flying, and sharks are being jumped. The judging on “Project Runway” is officially a coin toss. Michael Kors is confused if he thinks that a hideous, stapled-together mishmash of red, black and white polka dots and stripes is anything more than a failing student project. My nine-year-old niece, Gigi, puts together more cohesive looks with bedsheets, tablecloths and old curtains, using a glue gun, safety pins and yarn. Maybe she should make a collection for Bryant Park. Yes, in case you couldn’t tell, I AM FUMING. What has this show come to? It’s not that Emilio isn’t talented; obviously, he is. But this is a COMPETITION. If you screw up, you lose. Yes, you lose ... get eliminated ... voted off the island.

Granted, the challenge was to make a high-fashion look based on the circus (dangerous territory if ever there was one) without (WITHOUT!) getting too costumey. They finally get two days to make something, and $300 to spend on it. Great designers have made fabulous couture shows with garish themes, but carried them off with an editing eye and some finesse, otherwise known as talent. The thing that makes me really sick is that now Emilio thinks he is a great designer.

Jay: The only wearable piece in the bunch, Jay’s tweed and leather pants were gorgeous (even Nina had to admit it) and were paired with a much too literal interpretation of a Michael Jackson-esque band jacket that was straight from the set of “Glee.”

Mila: Neon cartoon colors paired with this stand-up collar black and white striped frock coat made her model look like the little sister of the Queen of Hearts from “Alice in Wonderland.” So costumey, a costume shop would have a hard time renting it for Halloween.

Anthony: Poor Anthony; he just can’t get it right. This muted blue polyester gown with drag-queen wings would get Honorable Mention in a seventh-grade fashion show. He says he needs more time to get things right. Anthony, human beings only live so long, sweetie.

Emilio: STAND BACK, CAUSE HERE IT COMES ...

Emilio was so smug about this garment, it just goes to show he is all ego with no editing eye. This was made poorly, designed poorly, smacked horribly of the ’80s, the back was a tragedy (if ever there was a time for Heidi to say “pooing fabric,” it was in reference to this mess), and Michael Kors should have his judging card revoked for not puking when this came down the runway. It looked like a saloon girl costume for a production of “Oklahoma!” in a mental institution. Not high-fashion, not wearable, not anything but a poorly made, clumsy eyesore. There, I feel better.

Seth Aaron: Seth Aaron made a female couture version of the “Hamburglar.” Maybe with a few color tweaks, this could have skewed more couture and less Ronald McDonald. All that was missing was the red Afro.

All this mishigas on the day two of the designers will be eliminated and three will continue on to Bryant Park. All during this episode, I kept thinking how refreshing it will be to have only three designers definitively make finale collections, and two designers really will get sent home. But oh no, they decide to keep Emilio and Seth Aaron, eliminate Anthony, and leave either Mila or Jay to get the last swing of the ax. But Heidi swung the ax and hit herself in the foot, deciding both of them will make collections, but only one will compete in Fashion Week. Boy, somehow this all sounds so familiar to me. I’m going to go take a shower, because I’m feeling not-so-fresh.

See ya soon,
Chris

02
FRI

Episode 11: Reject Runway

Posted By CaitlinBergmann 5:53am GMT

Well, well, well … "Project Runway" goes on — and like life, the more it changes, the more it stays the same. This week the super-drama unfolds both on the runway and behind the scenes, only to prove Emily Dickinson right: The world ends not with a bang, but a whimper. What I am talking about? Let's start with the challenge — to make a red carpet dress for the one and only German ubermodel of the universe, Heidi Klum herself. She warns the six remaining designers that she is "opinionated, headstrong and knows what she wants." Obviously, making za Kluminator unhappy is verboten. The workroom sketching becomes ultra-tense because there is a lot on the line and only $300 and one day to complete it. The designers start digging into their bag of tricks, when one by one, they start to notice that Maya is missing.

Where did she go? To have a serious talk with Tim. Very serious. For some reason, she tells Tim that she has decided to leave the competition, claiming that she is "not ready." Not ready? For what? A mental institution? She has already endured 10 harrowing challenges (where, I might add, her looks were all interesting and should have won many times when they didn't) and the attitudes of the other designers and all of the judges, only to quit now? Don't do it! But she did do it, quietly announcing to the workroom that she has decided to leave. Shock, dismay and general malaise take over the proceedings, and deep-dish disbelief is being served for lunch.

But — did I say but? In true "Project Runway" tradition, they stir things up by announcing that one of the eliminated designers will be brought back. Hmm … let me guess which one. Miss Anthony bursts through the workroom door doing her best Mama Rose ("Here she is, boys!") and everyone is happy again in Runwayland. Anthony joins in the challenge, and lights up the workroom with his wit and laughter. Gee, sounds familiar.

But enough about me. Did you know that I designed Meryl Streep's gown for this year's Academy Awards? So I have precious knowledge of the stress these designers are under. They don't want Heidi to end up on the dreaded "Worst Dressed List." You must take into consideration every angle of the dress, the color, the fabric, the workmanship, the fit, age appropriateness, length, walkability and basically every criticism you can imagine to create the perfect concoction that slays the considerable competition. This is the Super Bowl of fashion, and literally, the world is watching. And when you end up on the best-dressed list, there's no feeling of accomplishment quite like it. But enough about me.

The workroom is buzzing with some kind of ugly stuff. Have these people never watched a red carpet event? Some of the chosen colors are especially strange. How is Jay's poorly constructed gray-on-gray cotton twill cocktail swirl dress going to look next to a couture Valentino? Mila's weird metallic rainbow cleavage-exposer? Next to a Marchesa or an Armani? Please, they would be laughed out of town. The only ones who are on the right track seem to be Emilio and Seth. At least they are designing long gowns in black or rich colors that look somewhat expensive. Sorry to knock everyone so hard, but this is the harshness of the real world. Kathy Griffin tells the story that at one red carpet event, she got back to her hotel room in time to look online and see that she was on the worst-dressed list — while still wearing the dress. Hollywood is brutal.

The judges are going to be brutal to Jonathan and his taupe, black and coral toga. He keeps saying that he sends beautiful things down the runway and they hate them. So why not send something hideous and see if they love it? Good logic on that one, cutie. More mini-drama ensues as Seth's model can't make the runway, and he gets stuck with a model he's never worked with before. Yawn. It was a little bit of fun when Heidi visited the workroom, and they should have had that go on forever — it was hilarious. Alas, Heidi returns to her position on the runway and it's time for the show.

Our judges are the crispy-skinned Michael Kors, the sharp-tongued Nina Garcia and guest judge Jessica Alba.

Jay: Gray-on-gray short dress that doesn't fit, makes the model's butt look huge and might be okay if the red carpet event takes place at a prison.

Mila: Black short dress (short? again?) with metallic rainbow racing-stripe details and that looks less like a red carpet dress and more like NASCAR couture.

Anthony: Hmm … If this black and white gown was perfectly sewn and tweaked a little, I would love it. To me, it came off a little messy, almost looking like fabric draped on a mannequin in a fabric store window.

Seth Aaron: What fit his mannequin perfectly turned out to be messy on the model, with too many studs for my taste. Heidi says it lacks a "wow" factor. But it's basically a tasteful black gown.

Jonathan: Whoops! It looks like three fabrics were pulled off a toilet paper roll and slung around the poor model to make this taupe, coral and black mess. He complained that he only had two hours — what did he do with the other hour and a half? Yikes!

Emilio: While I admire that he made the dress properly — with a boned understructure — it is pretty boring and all about the sequined fabric. If we are going to give out prizes for proper dressmaking, let's change the title of the show to "Project Seamstress."

They tried to end the show with a bang, but it ended up being just a big whimper. Heidi decides there are TWO winners — Emilio and Anthony. Huh? Because Jessica Alba wants to wear Anthony's dress. I guess this was meant to shock us, but it really didn't do anything but make me puzzled, since it has no bearing on the outcome. Why not have everyone win? But they didn't, as Jonathan and Jay ended up in the bottom. The sanctimonious Jonathan was sent home, full of excuses and accusations about the judging. Bang? No, just a whimper.

See ya soon,
Chris

19
FRI

Episode 9: "Runway" State of Mind

Posted By CaitlinBergmann 5:05am GMT

Heidi sashays onto the runway to tell the eight designers who are left that they need to get into a "New York state of mind." They meet with Tim and L'Oreal makeup consultant Collier Strong to find out that the "makeup" challenge is on, as well as some other sticky details. Not only do they have to work in teams of two (again), but also their looks must be inspired by one of four New York neighborhoods: Chinatown, the East Village, the Upper East Side and Harlem. On top of all that, EACH designer must make a look — one for day and and one for evening. Confusing? Yes ... and the results show on the runway. This challenge tested the focus and tenacity of each designer to be part of a team without losing their own identity. With $300 per team and only one day to complete the challenge (I thought for sure they would get two days!), they scramble to finish some pretty crazy garments.

Teams and themes are chosen, with the first member as the leader:

Anthony and Maya / Chinatown
Amy and Jonathan / Upper East Side
Emilio and Seth / Harlem
Jay and Mila / East Village

Everyone is loving the fact that Jay and Mila got stuck with each other, since they get along like Donald Trump and Rosie O'Donnell. Everyone except Jay and Mila, that is. They head out into their neighborhoods to gain inspiration, and here is where a lot of bad decisions were made. Anthony and Maya can't get away from windows full of cheap, red and gold paper dragon party decorations. Yeah, that's what I want to wear. Maya is more smartly drawn to the architecture and fire escapes and wrought iron. Amy and Jonathan seem to have no idea what the Upper East Side is about: fashion, luxury, and the richest, most spoiled people on earth living the high life. They instead go for the inspiration of the bricks and railings. Good luck. Emilio and Seth are all about Harlem's denim looks and the Cotton Club/Billie Holiday vibe of the past. Good choice, but I hate what they did with it. Jay and Mila are getting along the best they can, and decide on the obvious graffiti/punk vibe of the East Village. This could have been the first time in reality-TV history where one person literally threw another one under the bus. They do not love each other.

My impressions of the workroom? Scattered, and it shows ... Jonathan is working on what looks like a disastrous new version of Gwyneth Paltrow's all-time Worst Dressed Oscar see-through outfit, Amy is throwing up some sort of sunset pastel maternity outfit and Mila is doing another black and white color-blocked jacket, but Seth seems to be making another cool jacket. They seem to be distracted by their makeup consultations, since they are all strapped for time. The runway day is fast approaching; this episode has the designers at their wit's end, with the least done and the most desperation and doubt about their final looks. Let's be the judge, and meet the judges:

Francisco Costa (no Michael Kors? He must be stuck in a tanning bed somewhere in Orange County), Nina Garcia and model/actress Molly Sims.

CHINATOWN

Maya (Day): Fabulous architectural jacket with angular striping details, paired with a cool black skirt with red peekaboo inserts. My winner.

Anthony (Evening): Simple black tank dress with childish paper-dragon fabric origami barfed onto the front. This piece would get you kicked out of fashion school.

EAST VILLAGE

Jay (Day): Hideous saddlebag pants that would end up on any clearance rack, paired with a tragic red and black throwaway tank top. I don't know about you, but I think saddlebags are best left on the horse.

Mila (Evening): I have figured it out!! Mila is color-blind. She made yet another black and white color-blocked jacket, with a black and white and black and white and black and white dress, and (ooooh!) red leggings. The color-blind designing for the color-blind.

UPPER EAST SIDE

Amy (Day): Now, here's a gal who is not afraid to make a fool of herself — (fish-scale pants, armpit hair-bowl jumpsuit) — and she sticks with a theme by making this pallor-inducing, jaundiced, overly pleated baggy shirt "dress" with a belt and black leggings. She is out there on a limb; I think it's about to break.

Jonathan (Evening): He goes on and on about his "techniques" as if he invented scissors. He should have learned how to use them before he made this messy mess of mesh cutouts that couldn't have been less flattering. It's almost as if he's goading the judges to throw him out.

HARLEM

Seth (Day): In one of the strangest looks I have ever seen, Seth manages to make a grown model look like a tacky Jon-Benet Ramsey–type beauty contestant in this weird denim playsuit with an even weirder hat. I felt like photos of this girl could get you in trouble with the police. Harlem? More like a runner-up at the "Little Miss Perfect" pageant.

Emilio (Evening): OK, he says he was inspired by the Cotton Club and Billie Holiday. So he made a long black, wrinkly (people who know how to sew will recognize this as an improperly fitted lining) evening gown out of cheap cotton lined with a gold fabric. Oh, and don't forget the "innovative" gold zipper up the front that makes this dress practically unwearable. Billie Holiday? What holiday? Halloween? Sorry, I hated this.

In what I consider to be the most "whack" judging in a long time, they chose Emilio and Seth to both be winners, a first in "Project Runway" history. Even after they praised Maya's outfit to the heavens, they had these two guys actually win, instead of what would have been an appropriate double elimination. Obviously, poor Amy couldn't help herself with any defense of her schleppy UES look, and got booted to Brooklyn by Heidi and the gang. Maybe they all missed Michael Kors so much they were confused ... and made really whacky decisions. I hope he's back next week ...

See ya soon,

Chris

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12
FRI

Episode 8: "Hair Today ... Gone Tomorrow"

Posted By CaitlinBergmann 5:22am GMT

We’re finally getting into the interesting stretch of Season 7, when we know what the designers are capable of, who we like and who we just can’t stand to look at for one more second. I particularly love this episode, because it features, well, HAIR! The Garnier hair challenge, to be specific, where the designers have to especially involve the model’s hairstyle in the look. Tim tells them that on top of that, they have to base their designs on the four natural elements: earth, air, fire and water. The designers get to pick — and some weren’t so smart about it. Anthony chose fire, and of course, someone took the opportunity to mention that he is “on fire.” Yes, and he’ll burn you with that quick wit, suckah.

With $150 and only a few hours until midnight, the designers are extra concentrated and quiet. Yes, even Anthony has put a lid on his chatterbox. Seth decides that air means the “air of midnight” and is working on a dark, bondage-y leather outfit. Anthony has chosen to go for an inspiration in what happens after fire — ashes. Quite a departure from the “Burn, Baby Burn” red, orange and gold sequined disco outfit I was expecting. Amy has predicted her own future when she mentions that some of them have not designed things that they are “... capable of constructing with the time allotted.” Wise words — she should have listened to them. Jonathan and Ben also have a prescient conversation about the fact that both of them have only been safe, never winners. What could they be doing wrong? Ben wants to break out of the box and get noticed with a three-piece suit inspired by a shark. Apparently, he never saw “Jaws.” Don’t go near the water.

The designers go off for their hair consultations, and then Tim comes in for his own consultation, loving Jonathan’s interpretation of air — which is “laughter” — and Seth’s black-leather midnight romp through bondage land. Tim laments that Ben’s is too subtle, and is afraid that Ben WILL get noticed for his three-piece suit, but not in a good way. Indeed, on the model, Ben’s “scuba” pants have the unfortunate feature of making her look like she has a little something “extra,” and the whole thing is poorly made in an “I don’t know what I’m doing” sort of way. The worst news for Ben? They let him call home and talk to his husband, tears and all. Veteran reality-TV watchers know this is the kiss of death. He has to be the loser. If I had to pick a winner at this point, I would say Seth’s black “Beyond Thunderdome” coat is the one to beat. Or as Anthony put it, “Black is not only beautiful, it’s officially presidential.” Snap.

Everyone’s panicking on the way to the runway, and the overly ambitious are feeling the heat. Jay actually stops to help Ben after he is finished — Ben is in that much trouble. Amy’s “Bowl of Hair” is teetering out of control, but it’s too late; it’s time for the runway. This week Michael Kors is Extra-Crispy, Nina Garcia is Original and guest judge Roland Mouret is just, well … hot!

Maya (Water): Seafoamy slime-green super-short cocktail dress with wavy, kelpy sleeves. Lovely for the wife of the Creature from the Black Lagoon.

Jay (Air): Dear God!! This is so frightening — he was inspired by a tornado and almost did that much damage to my eyes. Cone turban? Stripes down the legs? Tattered mess of a skirt? Dorothy is lost in there somewhere on her way to Oz.

Ben (Water): Hard to see how he can stay “in” with this messy shark-inspired suit. Looks more like a brown trout.

Anthony (Fire): Very Marchesa-looking black and gray sculptural evening gown — a little too much like his winning Marie Claire cover look.

Mila (Earth): Dullsville secretary suit for casual Friday. It looks like she ran out of fabric for sleeves and the left side of the jacket.

Jonathan (Air): On first look, I wasn’t that thrilled. But then when I got to see it standing still, it came off as fabulous couture rather than a kid’s glue-gun project ... there’s a fine line.

Amy (Fire): How her hair-bowl outfit had anything to do with fire — other than that she almost got fired for it — I don’t know. This was a first in “Project Runway” history: “Rapunzel Couture.” I’m a fan of human hair on clothes, but this was more like armpit hair gone awry. Eeek!

Emilio (Earth): Safe, silk, safe, green, safely safe outfit that did nothing for anyone but disappear. Yawn.

Seth (Air): Take a walk on the wild side in this exquisitely made, wild black leather windstorm of a jacket, with super-cool jeans to boot. My winner.

Jonathan finally breaks through with the win over Maya and Seth ... and boring Ben and Amy, with her hirsute bust-bowl, end up in the bottom two. Poor Ben is set free to go home and cry to his husband in person — the outcome that was aimed at from the very beginning of this episode. Just like the shark in “Jaws,” we all saw it coming.

See ya soon,
Chris

05
FRI

Episode 7: "Bottom 10"

Posted By CaitlinBergmann 4:02am GMT

I thought it was funny that at the halfway point of this challenge, some of the designers surmised that for the first time in “Project Runway” history, EVERYONE would be in the bottom. Why, you ask? Because it’s time for that perennial favorite, the unconventional materials challenge. In the past, we’ve ripped up cars, melted candy, raided the supermarket and mowed the lawn to get enough stuff to make an outfit. This time, they visit Michael Kors at his Soho store, and he tells them they must make a look with materials from ... a hardware store (!). They must also make one of the main features of the outfit be a fabulous accessory. Fun! I love it — but then again, this is basically what I do for a living. Just the other day, someone asked me to make a dress out of a television set. I’m not kidding. But I guess these guys didn’t fare so well.

Project Runway Emilio Sosa Episode 7 Washer String DressEmilio is especially whiny about the fact that he doesn’t get to make a sophisticated garment out of luxurious materials. Too bad, dude ... this isn’t “Project I-Want-What-I Want.” Everyone else is in the same boat, so why not give it a try instead of complaining? But he had nothing but trouble, from not having nearly enough money ($50) for the outfit he planned, to not having enough time to cover his model’s private parts. Whoops. They do only have until midnight, but others are plowing through. Jay is making “leather look” pants out of trash bags, Mila is making a black and white checkerboard ’60s-inspired outfit (again) and Jonathan is working on a pretty copper bodice. Not so good? Jesse is making something that Tim thinks is ugly enough to get booted from an elementary school play, and Emilio justs keeps up the whining — especially after his model is basically naked. Or, as Anthony referred to it, “... not in the best of taste.”

My favorite had to be Maya’s Gaultier-inspired black cage jacket with a super-dramatic collar, with the most fabulous accessory — a necklace made of keys and chains. Amy’s also looked very cool, with a sandpaper-fan-decorated bodice. Tim is not really amused at anything in this whole episode, and is having a hard time not letting it show behind his pinstriped veneer. The frenzy of runway day is upon us, and Jesse, everyone’s favorite Disney pirate, says, “Screw sewing! Use tape!” Well, desperate measures ... And speaking of desperate, Emilio’s washer-and-cord “dress” turns into a bikini, then turns into a micro-bikini, then goes all the way down the drain to end up as basically three washers and a couple of feet of cord. You figure it out.

On the runway, there’s a crowd of judges, including the freshly Shake ‘n Baked Michael Kors, the lovely if not venomous-tongued Nina Garcia, the deliciously dark and fabulous Isabel Toledo (a friend of mine, and one of my all-time favorite designers) and jewelry designer Stephen Webster. Here we go ...

Mila: Cool, chunky black and white version of Cher’s “Half-Breed” outfit. The model doesn’t look too bad, considering she is basically wearing a lawn chair.

Jesse: Balloon boy is hiding up inside this completely ridiculous skirt with its own silver armored bodice. Proportion, taste and wearability are nowhere to be found. Just like balloon boy.

Jonathan: Bloody, rusty-colored bodice that took a wrong turn somewhere and ended up as a stiff cocktail dress for Judy Jetson.

Anthony: The judges didn’t like his restraint in making this simple, purple halter cocktail dress overlaid with screen. If one of the girls had done this, they would have applauded its prettiness and sophistication. But for Miss Anthony, they called it boring.

Ben: He basically painted glue on his model and rolled her in a pile of old, dirty pennies. Actually, that would have been prettier.

Project Runway Maya Luz Key Necklace Episode 7Emilio: It just goes to prove that some people are safe inside their box. This outfit goes down as one of the WORST EVER in “Project Runway” history. Emilio pleaded ignorance and threw himself on the judges’ mercy. He also showed some less than attractive personal traits on this episode, proving that he’s not that gracious under stress, either.

Jay: Very Tim Burton–esque (Gothy-costumey) outfit of pants and a weird bubble corset top. I was under-impressed. The judges were so excited, they needed diapers. Or to change the ones they already had on.

Seth: Luckily, he had immunity, because this tacky Mrs. Tin Man outfit made of Reynolds Wrap would not have made it.

Amy: Interesting fans of sandpaper on a well-fitted bodice, with a simple black sandpaper circle skirt. Not the wildest thing on the runway, but I really liked this effort.

Maya: Fabulous cage coat — fabulous collar — fabulous key necklace — fabulous cocktail dress made out of screen ... FABULOUS.

Obviously, we know that Emilio and Jesse the pirate would be in the bottom, but poor Anthony ends up there, too. They let him be safe to quip another day, and Jesse gets blindsided and sent home. Everyone is pretty shocked. The judges give the win to Jay, who was in the top with Mila and Maya. When Jay won, let’s just say Mila, was, well, pissed. If looks could kill ...

So shocked was Tim by Jesse’s aufing that he even expressed his own personal shock and dismay at the judges’ decision. Another sign that those pinstripes can’t hold him in forever ... I guess Jesse will go back to Disney World, and back to his pirate costume, where he is probably more comfortable anyway.

See ya soon,
Chris

19
FRI

Episode 6: You Got to Be Kidding!

Posted By CaitlinBergmann 4:40am GMT

Project Runway season seven kid models in episode six Last week we left our two most boring designers, Anna and Janeane, alone on the runway. Anna got sent home, and it seems like it would obviously be Janeane's turn next ... Flash forward to this week, episode six, when Heidi announces that this week's looks will be made for an "attractive little group." Children. Yes, children. They come bursting out onto the runway like Heidi just gave birth to a litter, and the designers' heads are reeling. Seth is stoked about this challenge, since he has a daughter, and Jonathan declares his hatred of children, and that he is actually scared of them. They get only $50 and until midnight to make a fashionable outfit for a rug rat. A no-necked monster. A rotten little brat. OK, OK — a delightful little girl.

This challenge reminds me of the many years I have made Halloween costumes for my niece and nephew. Kids are tricky — they are opinionated and want what they want. If they want a pink dress and you decide it will look better in yellow, it may end up in shreds on the floor. Watch out — they are small and dangerous. The workroom is full of teeny-tiny little dress forms (I remember seeing these in storage on another floor at Parsons, and thinking that a children's challenge was going to come our way) as the designers intensely sketch and figure out how to make something for a whiny little munchkin. I mean sweet, adorable child.

At Mood, Anthony is busy fantasizing and playing the "What would I wear if I were a little girl?" game. Face it, Anthony, you probably wore a ruffled ball gown with a Patti LaBelle hairdo and long fake nails. That is not appropriate for the challenge ... this time. Jonathan has set about making something that is riskier than he has done before, and does his "best" Michael Kors imitation in the sewing room, shredding his own garment as it goes down the runway.

Project Runway season seven designer Mila Hermanovski's design in episode six Oh, how life is going to imitate art! Don't mess with Miss Kors  — she'll fry you in her tanning bed. Mila declares to anyone who will listen (anyone?) that she is more centered, and that everyone likes her better now (anyone?). See photo on the right for her designs.

In the workroom, Seth is making a super-cute black and white houndstooth hoodie, and Jay is making a cute plum dress with a Peter Pan collar. There seems to be lots of cute stuff going on ... but no Tim. Everybody notices a distinct lack of the Gunn one, and fear of a twist the next morning dances in their heads all night. Lo and behold, the morning DOES bring Tim Gunn with a twist. He announces that there will be no runway show today. It will be tomorrow — and there will be two looks from each designer. Shock!!! The designers have $100 and until midnight to come up with a corresponding adult look for their models, so that each will send a kind of mommy/daughter pair strutting down the runway. Emilio declares that he is screwed, and in one of the most fun moments this season, the designers bet on how long Anthony can keep his mouth shut. It turned out to be 14 minutes and 56 seconds. Be careful, guys: If Miss Anthony gets too quiet, it shows how dull everyone else is.

Tim comes to warn Amy that she is making clown clothes, to warn Jonathan that he has gone organza-petal crazy and to warn Janeane that she is "rocking Halloween" with her look. "Rocking Halloween"? Does Tim go to raves now? Did he move to the West Village? How hip. The kids come pouring in for their fittings, and the workroom becomes like "Romper Room on crack."

Anthony lovingly asks, "Do you all have an OFF switch?" No, Anthony, they don't. That's why they invented Ritalin.

The runway is going to be interesting, with the Easy-Baked Mr. Kors, the Iron-Fisted Ms. Garcia and guest judge Tory Burch.

Anthony
Big Girl: Fuchsia low-cut dress with OK ruffle detail. Just fine.
Little Girl: Print and fuchsia baby-doll dress that, again, is just fine.

Amy
Big Girl: What is this?!! Tim warned about clown clothes, but these multicolored fish-scale clamdiggers would be an embarrassment to even the tackiest clown on earth. Dame Edna wouldn't even wear these. Unfathomable.
Little Girl: A flower costume that my niece would have loved when she was three.

Ben
Big Girl: Boring secretary outfit in purple and white.
Little Girl: Just-as-boring lavender dress. Total snooze pair.

Project Runway season seven designer Seth Aaron Henderson's design in episode six Seth
Big Girl: Über-fashion-forward black and white checked Blade Runner jacket and pants from the cinematic future.
Little Girl: Super-cute black, white and pink hoodie with enough zippers, buttons and grommets to make any little girl ecstatic. (See photo on the left for his two designs.)

Jesse
Big Girl: Gray, black and red bondage cocktail dress that I thought was a little too tight and messy.
Little Girl: Off-kilter gray cutesy dress with red detail. Yeah, like little girls wear gray. Well, the ones in prison do.

Jonathan
Big Girl: "White Organza-Petal Monster" perhaps this could be be a new character on "Sesame Street." Yikes, this is really ugly.
Little Girl: Cute yellow dress with strange bolero jacket and seriously inappropriate use of white organza petals. That mocking tone of Michael Kors from the workroom came back to bite Jonathan in the ass. Get your rabies shot.

Maya
Big Girl: Black tight pants and a slutty yellow jacket for a hooker.
Little Girl: Unfortunately, it's a similar black tight pants and yellow jacket for the junior version. It looks like Mommy/Daughter day in Las Vegas.

Mila
Big Girl: Cute '60s trapeze swing coat in color-blocked black and white.
Little Girl: The cutest kiddie outfit by far, this super-adorable pink, green, black and white trapeze dress should have won easily.

Emilio
Big Girl: Strangely tight lavender-pink ugly bridesmaid dress for an '80s Robert Palmer video. ("Gonna have to face it, you're addicted to pink.")
Little Girl: The most boring kid's dress ... pink poufy nightmare worthy of a Betsy Wetsy doll.

Janeane
Project Runway season seven designer Janeane Marie Ceccanti's design in episode six Big Girl: Janeane practically eliminates herself with this messy '80s Norma Kamali knockoff in black, white and red. All that was missing were the leg warmers and the soundtrack to "Fame."
Little Girl: Red balloon dress that would take 10 minutes to make. She took five minutes, and made it a sloppy mess. (See photo.)

Jay
Big Girl: Overworked (in MY opinion, not the judges') plum and purple top with black pants. This just didn't seem wearable to me at all.
Little Girl: He started out with an adorable dress, and again overworked it with petals. (Was this gratuitous-petal week? Or just a tribute to Leanne?)

I loved it when Michael Kors said Jonathan's adult look appeared as if the model had gotten caught in a "tornado of toilet paper." Jonathan was in the bottom along with Amy and, of course, our resident loser-chick, Janeane. Seth happily took the win, and jumped up and down like a little girl. Flash back to last week, when Janeane was again in the bottom two, but survived … Well, this week she didn't. The judges did us a favor by getting rid of the last of the forgettable designers of Season 7, and Janeane was sent back to Loser Island.

See ya soon,

Chris

12
FRI

Episode 5: Run for Cover!

Posted By CaitlinBergmann 5:01am GMT

Project Runway season seven designers in episode five

This episode of “Project Runway” will certainly go down in history if for one reason only: the prize for winning the challenge. What is it? No less than having Heidi Klum herself wear your design on the April cover of Marie Claire magazine. Pretty serious prize. Pretty nervous designers. Pretty dresses? Well ... this challenge proves who’s good under pressure, and who falls apart. The designers have $150 and only one day to create a cover-worthy look. They are given some caveats (that the more experienced designers would already be aware of): no black, no dull colors, prints are tricky, and the focus should be from the waist up. Some were listening ... some were not.

The workroom is deathly quiet as the prospect of such a great reward hangs over everyone’s head, and Seth relieves the pressure by singing little songs and doing little dances. The other designers relieve the pressure by hating on Mila, who doesn’t understand why everyone isn’t thrilled about her success and cocky attitude. Mila should spend part of her $150 to buy a clue. She is making what looks like a color-block Easter egg dress out of several shades of beige (weren’t they specifically warned about dull color?), Anna, another entry in the boring-personality Olympics, is making a shapeless three-piece look that would put a speed freak to sleep. Yawn. On the brighter side, Emilio is making a bright fuchsia-red low-cut dress with a lacing detail at the neckline that looks a little more like the cover of Cosmo (or Maxim!), and the self-appointedly fabulous Miss Anthony is making a sky-blue cocktail dress with a scrolling ribbon detail down the front, short and tight — just how Miss Klum likes it.

On our way to the runway, Maya’s dress has a promising shape with a layered collar, but again rendered in shades from the Quaker Oats color palette. Tim Gunn seems to be trying his darndest to get these guys to understand the gravity of the situation, to no avail. We see some strange things running down the hall to the runway ... were these designers listening? Or did the idea of dressing the German one herself just prove too daunting?

On the runway, we have the Tan-gerine, Michael Kors; the Colombian Taskmistress, Nina Garcia; and Queen Bee Joanna Coles, editor of Marie Claire. Here come the cover girls ...

Project Runway season seven designers Anthony Williams in episode five

Amy: It looks like she went shopping at a “Sex and the City” garage sale, and came up with a garment in a wild print with an ugly matching-print cabbage rose on the shoulder. Carrie Bradshaw would be in heaven. In 1998.

Seth: Unexplainably dull yet fussy silver-gray spacesuit with puffy shoulders and what seems like a hundred buttons. Suitable for some sort of intergalactic secretary.

Jesse: Woven-front (which is very interesting) short cocktail dress — but made in a super-dark black/green color that would make it unusable on a magazine cover. Too bad.

Anna: She went shopping at Fashion Bug with $14.99 and had five dollars left over. Ugh — shapeless light-blue chemise, shapeless gray vest and cute but out-of-place pinstripe shorts. She even took the fashion out of Fashion Bug.

Anthony: Beautiful sky-blue sculptural dress with one shoulder strap — as tight, short and sassy as Heidi is German. Hot look for a cover. (See photo.)

Janeane: Loser, loser, loser, loser. Beige, beige, beige, beige. Oy! As exciting and colorful as the Amish on Casual Friday.

Mila: Another entry in the Beige Sweepstakes, this looks like a leftover from “The Fifth Element” made out of Ace bandages and old T-shirts.

Emilio: Red low-(low!)cut short (short!) dress with a cute lacing detail. Cute, but not exactly the Kluminator.

Jay: MORE beige ... this time made into a hideous hippie wedding dress with piles of extra fabric worthy of Ping. Plus the added detail of some sort of torn-fabric shoulder growth. Yech.

Project Runway season seven designers Jonathan Peters in episode five

Jonathan: This was an inexcusable piece of ’70s disco-kitsch worthy of a bad ABBA cover band. A scarf-print silk romper (romper?) with bell sleeves. For Heidi. Really? I’m surprised he made it off the runway without getting slapped. (See photo.)

Maya: Beige. AGAIN. What is wrong with these people? Was Mood having a sale on everything beige? She made a very interesting dress with a cool layered collar. But in f#@*ing beige! (See photo above for the battle of the beiges.)

Ben: Color-block stiff kimono-shaped teal and yellow outfit with a bondage belt. While well constructed, this just puzzled me.

Joanna Coles had some exquisitely cruel condemnations of a couple of the outfits (to Janeane: “It doesn’t look like a beach to me at all — unless the beach is polluted and covered with old plastic bottles.” And to Mila: “It looks like the equivalent of hospital food.”) Gotta love the British. I was thrilled that the very deserving Miss Anthony took the win and made Heidi happy. But I wish that they had sent home a BUNCH of these designers, basically anyone who committed the deadly sin of beige. But, Mila, Anna and Janeane ended up in the bottom, with Anna getting the ax. Janeane will be getting it next week, hopefully. And Mila will have to keep her cocky attitude on hold until next time.

See ya soon,

Chris

05
FRI

Episode 4: Red Is the New Blech

Posted By CaitlinBergmann 4:45am GMT

Project Runway season seven Maya Luz

OK, OK — before I get too tough on Episode 4, let’s keep in mind that it was all for a good cause, the American Heart Association. In partnership with Campbell’s Soup, the dresses this week are to be designed for the “Go Red for Women” gala Fashion Week event. On top of that, the models are real women whose lives have been impacted by heart disease. There. Sweetness and light aside for now, I think the designers fell way short this week — especially in light of some of the fantastic looks that have been sashaying down the runway. Yes, they had to use almost all red fabric ... and, yes they had to incorporate Campbell’s branding into their designs (I’m keepin’ my mouth shut ...) And yes, they had only $100 and one day to complete a gown fit for a gala. But yes, this IS “Project Runway.” Deal with it.

This should be an easy thing to do, right? Make a dress with a beautiful silhouette (your color has already been chosen) from your bag of designing tricks. These looks ended up looking more like just bags. No tricks. And the judges liked a couple of things that I thought were atrocious. Nothing new there, either. Let’s see ... Maya is going for an Elsa Peretti–inspired heart-shaped bodice that looked promising. (See final design above.) Notice I said “looked.” Seth is in trouble (he even said, “I want my mommy”) and decides to take a left turn into Grecian-draping land, where he is most certainly a stranger. (Tear-Jerker Alert:) Then, the designers go deep within themselves to realize that there’s more to life than “Project Runway” and winning a challenge ... that some people have real problems to face, like heart disease. OK, so I got a little choked-up too. Sue me.

Tim time! Maya’s is looking good (what happened before the runway?). Janeane’s accidentally got dunked in a bucket of water because, to quote her, she’s “such a loser.” And Seth took Tim’s scowl to heart and chucked his Grecian toga and started over. Jay’s is looking cool (another one that went south on its way to the runway), and Anthony ... well, let’s just say Anthony wasn’t so quotable this week. And quicker than you can say “Warhol,” it’s time for the runway ...

Usual suspects: Michael “Orange you glad I’m here?” Kors, Nina “Sew what?” Garcia, and Mrs. Weinstein, Georgina Chapman of Marchesa.

Project Runway season seven Luis Estrada

(Before we start, I just want to say I was disappointed with the lack of Noodle Wigs, Soup Bowl Hats, and Saltine Cracker Belts that would have made such lovely accessories.)

• Jonathan: Burgundy taffeta ruffle-tiered gown seemed cool but somehow very messy.

• Emilio: Polka-dot bubble shorty dress that looked like a red empire-waisted garbage bag covered with pepperoni. Awful.

• Maya: What seemed promising turned into some sort of horror with two fabrics strangling each other and the model. Student work.

• Anthony: OK dress that fit well, but ruined with a balloony jacket that looked like it was designed for shoplifting in the ‘80s.

• Amy: Chiffon goddess dress that was at least gala-worthy. Just fine, if a little old-fashioned.

• Jesus: Short, cheap, shiny, cheap, tight, cheap, sparkle straps, cheap, tacky, cheap, and ... did I say cheap? (See photo above.)

• Anna: Red chiffon and beige bag with a belt. Left over from the burlap challenge.

• Jay: Lobster-tail bodice that at one time looked promising. Maybe a lot of melted butter could save it.

• Jesse: Ivory short jacket over a matronly cocktail dress. He likes to walk the plank.

• Ben: Long gown with a high slit and a strange gold Wonder Woman belt. Hopefully she has an invisible jet.

Project Runway season seven Hermanovski

• Mila: Standout effort with huge star appliques and a flattering silhouette. She did more work, with more quality and pizzazz than all the other looks put together, and she had immunity. She should have won. (See photo.)

• Janeane: Looks like her model is wearing a plus-size dress that is falling off under a red dress that is too tight. Ugh. Loser.

• Seth: Cute fit-and-flare dress that I liked a lot, considering he started with something completely different.

I was shocked to see Maya end up in the top with her mess of a dress that looked like it was constructed with a glue gun and a tornado. Mila and Amy are competing for the win, and the judges give it to Amy Sarabi. Probably because they don’t want Mila getting too cocky. In the bottom, Jesse, Jesus and Anna are three sad sacks, but the bottom two are Jesus and Anna. I can’t believe they kept Anna, who is about as interesting as a cold bowl of oatmeal. Jesus Estrada is out, after a promising beginning.

Oh well ... I can’t cry over spilled soup.

See ya soon,

Chris

29
FRI

Episode 3: Teams of Two Little, Too Late

Posted By CaitlinBergmann 4:00am GMT

Project Runway season seven designers in the third episode

This episode has it all: teams of two (including the hostess, Heidi, who always seems to be pregnant), the highest budget in “Project Runway” history, and enough twists and turns to keep you guessing what’s inspired by who, for how much, until your head is spinning. You may need a scorecard to keep things straight this time around. Tim takes the designers to the Metropolitan Museum of Art to meet 10 other designers — the icons ensconced in the Met’s Costume Collection. Chanels, Balenciagas and Diors — oh my! I was drooling on these gorgeous gowns, as were the runway kids. I hope they were Scotchgarded.

We all know that it’s time for the dreaded (and rightly so) team challenge. The teams are (get your scorecard ready!): Jay and Maya; Jesus and Amy; Anthony and Seth Aaron; Janeane and Ben; Mila and Jonathan; Ping and Jesse; Emilio and Anna.

The first partner of each team is the leader (Ping? Oh no! ...), and they are off to sketch and then spend a whopping $500 at Mood. The footage at Mood is so disparaging of Ping, it was hard to watch ... she loses sketchpads, fabric and money; argues with Jesse; and just looks like a chicken with her head cut off. We know that no good will come of this. Mila is one tough cookie who has decided to go for a ’60s futuristic look. Anthony and Seth Aaron (who, at one point, Anthony pricelessly refers to as “Seth-Ann”) are working on a red, yellow and black dress that Miss Anthony describes as “... a gown for the vice president of McDonald’s.” Love her. To death. I refuse to watch any more episodes if she gets kicked off. And then there’s the mess of Jesse and Ping .... I actually felt sorry for pirate-boy Jesse, who is just trying to “...rein in the crazy.” Perhaps a couture straitjacket would suit Ping perfectly.

But guess what, sports fans? There’s a twist! (Come on, you knew it was coming!) The teams have to make a second “look for less” with $50! And it has to be inspired by one of the OTHER team’s looks. Yipes. Me no likey. You can get out your scorecard and figure out who was inspired by whom, but this was all very confusing, and didn’t play out on the runway as fabulously as I think they planned.

Tim comes through the workroom to gleefully describe Ping’s choice of fabric for their cheap look as, well, cheap. Well, “cheap and cheerful wrapping paper,” to quote him completely. Anthony and Seth-Ann are having a disagreement in front of Tim, and Miss Anthony snaps, “Stop acting up in front of company!” Anthony has seen way too many episodes of “In Living Color” while beading his dress for “Paris Is Burning.” The morning of the runway show, he spits out the jewel, “I’m stacked, packed, and ready to attack!” Project Runway season seven designers Anthony Williams The snaps are flying, the hips are sashaying, the candy is being hidden, the shade is being thrown and the faces are at a full beat. In other words, it’s time for the runway. Throw the dice and steal the rice ....

The judges are: Michael “Tanning Bed” Kors, Nina “Fashion Predator” Garcia and guest judge Matthew Williamson. (As an aside, just to give all young designers hope .... I can remember eight years ago when Matthew Williamson didn’t even have a show at Bryant Park yet, so he got a store across the street to feature photos of his collection in their windows. Just look at him now!)

Team Anthony/Seth-Ann: Black and yellow hoop skirt for the “Queen Bee” in a school play about reproduction. (See left.)
* 4-less look: Kind of cute lace-overlay cocktail dress with pintucked tank top. Better than their couture look, to be sure.

Team Jesus/Amy: Burnout black fishtail dress with ruffled wheels that make a kind of bolero jacket. I kind of like both, but not together.
* 4-less look: Balloon pants that scream “Hammer Time!” You can’t touch this.  

Team Mila/Jonathan: Paco Rabanne meets Tim Burton in a Jane Fonda exercise video. With a little NASCAR couture thrown in? The judges liked this way more than I did.
* 4-less look-black and yellow babydoll dress for the “Queen Bee” in the JonBenet Ramsey version of the school play about reproduction.  Eeeww.

Team Janeane/Ben: Shorty-short-short pintucked blah dress with a blah vest. Most of their $500 must have been spent on crack.
* 4-less look: Tackling the ’60s look, they did a good job making a wearable outfit.

Team Emilio/Anna: Innovation-free black version of Simplicity Pattern #5108 “Easy to Sew” bridesmaid dress. Most of their $500 must have been spent on ... crack.
* 4-less look: Cute asymmetrical horizontal-striped dress that had absolutely nothing to do with the inspiration. (See above — “crack.”) Project Runway season seven designer Ping Wu

Team Jay/Maya: Fungus-shoulder gown with tendrils of of twists down the front that flutter as the model walks. It definitely grew on me.
* 4-less look: More elaborate than Janeane and Ben’s original? Almost an exact copy, though.

Team Ping/Jesse: Vintage-y lace top with a bottom that looks like the model sat in glue and then the bargain bin of scraps at Jo-Ann Fabrics. (See right.)
* 4-less look: A gray dress for sunning in the prison yard. Super boring and uninspired. (See above — “crack.”)

Whew! I know that was all very confusing, but all you need to know is that Mila wins with her Paco Rabanne–inspired space-stewardess look, and that Teams Anthony/Seth-Ann and Ping/Jesse end up in the bottom. Heidi warns that one or two (!) of them will be going home. Jesse and Seth are pronounced “safe,” leaving Ping and Anthony to walk the plank ... Oh no! They can’t get rid of Miss Anthony! She’s just getting warmed up with the quips and quotes! Please oh please let him stay ... Ping gets the pong, and Anthony is safe for another week of Southern belle antics.Yay! Poor Ping gives a tearful goodbye in a very sad exit interview. Oh, the cruel mistress that is reality TV.

See ya soon,

Chris

22
FRI

Episode 2: "You Say Potato..."

Posted By CaitlinBergmann 4:31am GMT

Project Runway season seven designers in the second episode

“What doesn’t kill me makes me stronger.” One of my favorite sayings, this was written on one of the blackboards in apartments of the designers. In episode two, the producers of “Project Runway” try to kill the remaining 15 designers by making them create pretty party dresses out of burlap potato sacks. Complete with a trip to a farm and everything, (the look on Tim Gunn’s face was priceless—dirt—eewww!) I have to say I think this is one of the most clever and fun challenges the show has ever put forth. It made for a great episode, and an especially great runway show, full of transcendence and tragedy.

My first thought was a famous episode of “I Love Lucy”, where Mrs. Ricardo is duped into literally wearing a potato sack after being convinced it was a piece of designer “couture”. Some of the results of this challenge turned out to be just as ridiculous, if not more so (oh Ping, the producers must truly love you!). I once made a dress out of potato sacks with a skirt made out of 25 pounds of real potatoes. Don’t ask. Just pass the ketchup.

The designers also have access to bins full of trims, ribbons, zippers, buttons, and actual produce. In a couple more tweaks and twists, they have to make the dresses with the models as their clients, and the models get to do the choosing. Poor Mila gets her panties in a bunch when her model mutinies to pair with Miss Anthony. Let the fireworks begin. She also gets chosen last. Boo hoo. “What doesn’t kill me….” Anthony politely describes his model as “verbal” (I believe that means “Loudmouth Bitch” in Anthony-speak) and he and Mila get into the season’s first smackdown. Poor Mila tries her best to hurt Anthony, who turns on his heel, confronts her, and says, “I left my feelings in Atlanta, Georgia.” He turns and walks away. Oh Miss Anthony, fries DO come with that shake!

Early looks around the workroom show Anna cleverly using a fresh potato to make a “potato print” on her fabric (I would have preferred plain fabric and a plate of tater tots), Tim trying to worry the hell out of everyone about the direction they’re taking, and Ping never disappointing with her pearls of wisdom…”Yes, I know—I’m always intriguing.” Project Runway season seven designers in the second episode Cue Tim’s eye roll. On to Amy, who seems to be doing something mysteriously fabulous to the edges of her burlap, and Tim giving poor Jesus a heart attack by sharing with him the simple fact that the challenge was to USE the burlap—not cover it up with trim. Jesus should be panic-stricken for another simple reason. His dress is ugly as sh*t. (See the photo on the left.) “What doesn’t kill me…” You get the picture.

Last peeks as models and designers scurry to the runway show some sort of God-awful hood-hat on one outfit, and many concerns that Ping’s dress is missing something. The back. Uh-oh. And now, grab a big bag of potato chips and get ready for the runway….

We have Michael Kors, the Mayor of Orangetown, Nina Garcia, the Queen of Bitch City, and the guest judge, Lauren Hutton, who’s sex scenes with Richard Gere in “American Gigolo” scarred me for life. Because I was jealous.

• Anthony-Miss Anthony dyed the burlap pink and made a really cute, well fitted swirly pouf dress. She proves that she is so much more than just a couple of snaps up!

• Ping-Top-check. Bottom-check. Front-check. Back-ooops. Ping left her model’s ass swinging in the wind, claiming American garments are hard to understand.

• Ben-Managed to make a stick thin model look more pregnant that Heidi in a pile of dyed pink burlap ruffles.

• Mila-To get back at Miss Anthony, Mila proves she is a contender with a capital “C” with this beautifully constructed grey and silver trimmed burlap cocktail dress from the future. She gets an A+.

• Anna Marie-Her seemingly clever “potato print” turned out to be not-so-clever after all, making her model look like she just came from mud wrestling show. She should have left the real potatoes for dinner, like I told her to.

• Jesse-Okay, pirate boy. This shipwreck of an outfit consisted of a vest and pair of pseudo-jodphurs with black riding boots that belonged on the controversial children’s toy, “Facist Dictator Mr. Potato Head”.

• Seth-Eeeeek! It gets worse! Super strange lampshade skirt and crazy hood-hat-thing make this outfit appropriate for “Idaho—the Musical”.

• Amy-Amazingly light and fluid petal-skirted halter dress, with a beautiful ombre-dyed treatment to the edges of the petals. Stunning.

• Janeane-Can only be described as, “Grey Prison Slut”.

• Jay-Surprisingly light tank dress with a shredded feather-effect bubble skirt in a chic shade of charcoal. Really great work. Makes me excited for this season.

• Emilio-Packing crate stripes thrown on to a burlap sheath while blindfolded. Not so much.

• Jesus-Brown and green stewardess outfit for “Hideous Airways”. I think this outfit actually made Nina Garcia’s eyes hurt. (See photo above.)

• Jonathan-Victoria’s Secret goes down-on-the-farm with this curious (alright, ridiculous) mixture of tater sack and lingerie. Perfect for Eva Gabor, if you’re old enough to get the joke.

• Maya-Something about this look seems like it was made out of a bunch of different colored straw beach purses, and not in a good way. Needs to be in a commercial for Malibu Breeze Coconut Rum.

Project Runway season seven designer pamela petak

• Pamela-Snoresville—and I should know. What seemed like a promising dye job turned into a denim-look dress with almost no interest whatsoever. Plus—it gave the model enough“junk” to fill several trunks. (See photo.)

In a judging with not too many quotable quotes, they did a good job of picking the top (Jay, Mila, and Amy) and the bottom (Pamela, Ping, and Jesus). They chose Jay for the win, even though I would have been happier with either one of the other two. So, let’s see, who do we think is going home? Crazy Jesus who will freak out on camera, Ping, who will cry or laugh or say just about anything for no reason we can decipher, or Pamela, this season’s equivalent to a Pet Rock? Hmmmm……Goodbye, Pamela.

And remember Pam, “What doesn’t kill me makes me stronger…” Can’t wait to see who they try to kill next week….Until then,

See ya soon,

Chris