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Carol Hannah Whitfield

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Little Letters to the Designers

By CaitlinBergmann Fri., Sep. 10, 2010 ,5:00 am EDT

Hello hello! This week’s blog is short and sweet as I am literally writing it on my phone between shows. Hooray for Fashion Week! As such, here are my little letters to the designers:

Dear Ivy,
Staring crazy-eyed at someone from four inches away does not a) make them sew faster or b) make your design into something less boring. It does, however, make most of America a little bit afraid of you.

Dear Michael D.,
Hooray for integrity. Five stars for good behavior on reality TV.

Dear Mondo and Michael C.,
How cute are you, snuggled on the couch all I-used-to-hate-you-but-now-you’re-my-best-friend style?! That shot in the greenroom was the best thing about this episode. Twenty bucks says they have those corresponding half-of-a-heart necklaces that say “BFF.” You know what I’m talking about.

Dear Gretchen,
Can I borrow your closet, please? I don’t care what you say about her — every time she puts something else on, I want it.

Dear April,
I like your dress, but I wish you weren’t obsessed with that little-baby-bun-on-the-very-top-of-the-head business. BUT I like your dress.

Not a serial killer.

Dear Christopher,
You are veering dangerously close to no-man’s-land. I think it’s time to amp things up! Can I bring you a coffee?

Dear Valerie,
I believe in you! You are so flipping cute. How much does watching people cry stink? But wowza — a fantastic execution job with Andy’s look! A bathing suit like that is no easy task!

Dear Andy,
I wish you had won. And I wish I could wear that every day (but it probably wouldn’t fly so well on the subway).

Dear Casanova,
Though your designs were a roller coaster of scandal versus grandma, at least it was a fun ride. I will miss your honest and funny observations, your puppy-dog-like cute little expressions and your dramatic phrases. Doesn’t it seem like the person who made the most boring look (*cough.IVY.cough*) should go home instead of you? Exxxhhhhhaaaaaaactly!!

With love,
Your friend,

Carol Hannah