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Bert Keeter Blog

Nap Time

By kim_messina Fri., Sep. 28, 2012 ,5:13 am EDT

EPISODE 11….What exciting and fashion relevant challenge could there be waiting for the remaining six designers? Possibly a trip to Paris or Milan? Nope, a baby challenge? Gee…THANKS! That was at the top of MY list!

Heidi joins Mr. Gunn at Babies"R"Us where the designers get the news. They can hardly contain their excitement. WRONG! The thought that after surviving 10 challenges one of them will be sent home because they have a loosing "baby" design stinks like a dirty diaper. The two winning designs, one for a boy and one for a girl, will be manufactured and sold in Heidi's baby line "Truly Scrumptious." Dmitry states that "Heidi has like a 105 kids." He's not thrilled and feels "We are all screwed. Those babies are really, really small. It's like making an outfit for a cat." MEOW!

After Heidi sets the record straight with her having only four children we meet their mini clients and moms. The designers are given 30 minutes to consult with the mom's about their little bundles of joy after which the designers are sent back to the workroom with the the ever much dreaded comment from Heidi: "There is something special waiting for you back at the workroom." One can't fool Elena — she knows it's not going to be a fun surprise. Yep, got that right! Not only are there life-sized baby mannequins, but life-sized, crying, peeing and you know what. Baby dolls with all the accoutrements…cribs, blankets, bottles and more. What's with the nursery lamps? For night time storytelling? Somewhere there is a scene writer on crack! What can the designers do except to go along with this silly farce. Possibly a great opportunity to grab some more screen time? Mr. Gunn informs them that "these are like real babies." Uh, no they aren't because mine would be in the trash by now. Okay Mr. Gunn? Elena is eyeing the thrash can…go for it!

Lets skip past all the cuddling, coo-cooing and fretting over inanimate plastic baby dolls and get some designing done! Fabio…it is JUST A DOLL! Put the damn thing down…NOW! One thing that immediately the designers have to take into consideration is how tiny their actual garments will be — armholes, waistlines, crotches (Yes, a baby has a crotch). Also, function and ease is of PRIME importance. No parent OR uncle wants to struggle with a complicated garment while changing a poop filled diaper, trust me!

Dmitry unknowingly adds another endearing phrase, "cutesy fruitsey" to his "one way monkey" is drawing a hooded jumpsuit for his toddler. Elena is making a denim jacket with a pleated collar detail. This is appears to be a great "item" for such a challenge. A lot of baby clothes are impulse buys based on their hanger appeal. This definitely will have that. I just hope the rest of the outfit is as memorable. Melissa on the other hand is doing a very mediocre outfit with pink and navy zebra leggings. Yikes! Not even Honey Boo Boo would wear those! Uh correction, yes she would and THAT'S the problem!

Sonjia is making a sweat suit in grey cotton jersey accented with navy patch pockets, collar and trim along with a colorful printed tee shirt — cute and fun.

Christopher seems to have his hands full with a VERY opinionated and "designer name dropping" glam mom. "Dior does a lot of tulle." Okay. She does understand this look is for her baby? Good thing she's not his client!

Nap time is over and all the little plastic things start crying and demanding attention. Fabio is very adamant that his little angel is fine. It's just going through a phase. Uh maybe it needs it's batteries changed? The amount of play acting with these little gadgets leads me to believe there must have been some coaxing from an unseen source.Maybe that "fourth wall" is adding a little pressure? Whatever, it's getting a tad tedious.

The monotonous life of a single parent is broken by the arrival of Auntie Heidi and Uncle Gunn, here to inspect their progress. I have to say, this is an odd challenge for Heidi to have "sexed up" her eye makeup? I love the Cleopatra like style. It is a super new glamorous look for her, which unfortunately will be lost on the toddlers in this challenge. Elena is up first. Heidi likes her denim jacket with pleated collar. She warns her with those amazing eyes wide open to not mess it up! Elena feels energized after the positive feed back.

Fabio is next with his boy's jumper accented with a large printed pocket on the back and lining detailing. Heidi comments that maybe Fabio is hiding too much detail on the inside is exactly what he needed to make this look pop! Very good critique Auntie!

Dmitry's jumpsuit looks a little like a garden gnome or something out of a Klu Klux Klan Christmas catalogue for kiddies, complete with pointed hoodie! All that it is missing is a mask and a plastic torch.

Sonjia's little grey suit is cute but I sort of see the shawl collar on the jacket as a tad girlie. Heidi encourages her to make the pant fun and interesting. Mr. Gunn interjects, "Not like an old fart outfit." He said it, not me.

Christopher explains the specific demands of his clients mom — denim jacket in white, asymmetrical collar, on and on. Shame he couldn't get her to sew it? Heidi designs the remaining portion of his look: a little "A" line dress with white appliquéd flowers all over it. Boy, that was easy!

Melissa is still in "Honey Boo Boo land" with her pull on pants. Apparently so is Heidi — she states she has a pair also? She means in her kids line and not in her wardrobe. Thank god! Melissa seems to be sinking fast. She has no real direction in this challenge. Heidi is not impressed and feels there is no "fun factor" at all in her look.

All in all, the designers seem to be breezing through this challenge. We can't have that, so here comes the "twist"…and I'm not talking about the dance. Heidi informs the designers that they get to make a companion look for the moms. Not so bad, but lets whine about it anyway! They are given fifteen minutes to sketch, $150 to spend at Mood and one more day to complete the challenge! And don't forget to bring your little bundles of joy. Does the humiliation ever end? The designers are not thrilled with this new addition to the baby challenge. Elena wants someone to shoot her. A few weeks, back half of the "PR" viewing audience would have volunteered, but now I am really getting to like her.

At Mood Mr. Gunn reminds them that the starring look on the runway is the babies outfit not the mom's. Okay so why bother? Dear Christopher is enamored with some "GORGEOUS" Oscar de la Renta fabrics. He is such a label W_ _ _ E! Melissa seems as off target on this part of the challenge as the baby portion. PPD maybe? Returning to the workroom the plastic babies are laid down for nap time allowing mommies and daddies get back to work! Melissa says bye bye to Honey Boo Boo land and starts on a new white dress too go under her denim jacket. Better? Elena is doing pistachio bloomers….okay. The day draws to a close, mercifully.

Next morning the designers are still being forced to play parents to plastic babies. Tedious, wouldn't you say? Yes, I can hear you say tedious! A few hours into the day and Uncle Gunn mercifully takes them off the designers' hands. I guess even the producers are getting tired of this gimmick by now! Hallelujah, back to focusing on design. I really like Christopher's, or should I say Heidi's and Christopher's white appliquéd dress. It' has a very Madison Avenue baby boutique air about it. Elena's little navy jacket is sweet also, but I'm not feeling the rest of the look. Melissa...girlfriend? That is not a dress for a little toddler. Side draped? Babies don't have a waist at this age so it makes NO sense to try and accent it with the draping. And a side zipper? No way! Totally wrong.

On to the adult looks. Apparently Christopher will have to make a look for his fashion diva mom after all. Maybe she will swoon over "Oscar" as much as Christopher did? The other designers, except Fabio who is using a white a grey floral, are all using tones of grey jersey for their moms. In walk the moms, babies and all.

Dmitry, yep, he has definitely designed an outfit for a garden gnome.

Melissa is finding out why you don't put a side zipper in a toddlers dress as the baby drools all over the neckline. Christopher's fashion diva mom does not like the babies outfit even after he compliments her on her eye makeup. Kiss ass a little more. Mention her lovely hair color and cut! WERQ IT! Actually it doesn't matter if she likes it — the dress is adorable! He doesn't fare much better with Oscar's print. Just don't listen to momma. It works beautifully with the toddler's dress. Just fine tune the fit, add the belt and Easter Sunday at the PLAZA here we come! Sonjia say's it beautifully, "Don't be too concerned about what Mary J. Blige is thinking." I'm with her!

Runway day and now free of plastic screaming babies the designers head back to Parsons. The guys definitely see Melissa on the bottom. Christopher is adamant that none of them help her. As harsh as this seems, the fact is that this is a competition. In previous seasons, a winner here or there may not have made it if it hadn't been for the help of fellow designers. You know who I'm talking about!

Moms and babies arrive for final fittings. Christopher's mom is feeling bad about yesterday's comments and wants to make it work for him. Sonjia's toddler's suit is cute, but I love Fabio's. The hat, nautical like trim and back patch details are creative, fun and will have major hanger appeal in the store. Poor Melissa is so far behind she asks her mom to sew a few buttons on the babies outfit. She is still sewing as the designers and their clients head for the runway.

Heidi, wearing a sort of a "Trompe L 'Oeil Peter Pan collar" LBD announces that guest judge this week is Hilary Duff, a new mom herself.

First out is my favorite boys look, Fabio's adorable jumper. That little boy couldn't have enjoyed himself more — all smiles and he was owning the runway! Mom's dress, while a tad short up front, is young and fresh. Great job.

Next is Melissa's mess. There is nothing about her babies look that would attract mom's to purchase any of it! The dress is a complete nothing and the jacket somewhere along the way lost it's sleeves. Mom's own outfit is better, but that is not what this challenge is about, right?

Dmitry's little garden gnome/KKK look is up next. Cute but very odd. The skimpy and tight leg proportions of this look doesn't help it either. Mom's look is clean, modern and comfortable.

Sonjia's little man follows in his jersey suit and colorful print t-shirt. The suit is nice. Not loving the "could be anything t-shirt" underneath. It could be a challenge in it's own to keep a toddler that young in a jacket for too long. I feel a sweatshirt/pullover with these sweat pants, basically a jogging suit, would have been a stronger and more practical design. It could have been brightened up with the print used on patch pockets, etc... Love mom's maxi dress and jacket.

Christopher's two looks are next. I love the little dress and jacket. His flower band accent in the hair nicely finishes this very uptown Easter Sunday look. Mom's design also make the cut. Good use of a print in such a clean design.

Elena's look suffers from over-accessorizing. Either the stuffed animal or the hair band have to go. Also her jacket looses its punch with that tacky sequin tee top underneath along with the pistachio bloomers. Great little jacket, not so great overall look. Mom on the other hand is modern and chic.

Kiddies, designer critique time! Sonjia's mom and toddler are first. They all love it. What do I know?

Melissa is not so well received. Heidi does love the jacket. First of all it's a vest. I really can't tell what the hell is going on with it. It's flung wide open and besides something on the back, has ZERO interesting detail or shape. Sorry but I am beginning to feel the producers manipulating this critique JUST a bit!. No producer could bluff through a positive critique about that pillowcase of a dress she is wearing. Considering Melissa'a previous skills of execution on other challenges this is a big FAIL! Mom's look is better but it's not about mom. Hilary has problems wit a lot of the outfit but ends with "other than that I think it is really cute." MK makes a few comments about fabric choices. He likes mom's look better than anyone else. Nina lets her slide by with a very soft critique/ She must be saving her wrath for some other unfortunate designer. Hilary pipes in that until one has a baby you don't know "those things." Come on! It's not rocket science.

Fabio is next and everyone love his look. It's a nod to nautical with out being literal. Heidi likes that it is one piece. She is not loving mom's dress. Does it matter? Nina likes both. She also feels a one piece is a smart choice for the toddler. Hilary also loves his toddler's look. So far my money is on Fabio for the boys win.

Elena is next. MK doesn't see this as a cohesive look but more like leftover items from a baby sample sale. I have to agree. While I like the jacket, as a whole the look falls flat! Heidi feels the same, calling the jacket a show stopper A bit of an overstatement, but it is a great item. Hilary also loves the jacket. Nina's critique is next. Here it comes. She feels the jacket "IS" the problem. She finds it unpractical. Apparently you have to be able to whip things on and off at the drop of a hat. How more difficult is it to take this jacket off than either Christopher's or Sonjia's? A little muttering under Elena's breath brings Nina's critique to an abrupt end. Heidi asks how she feels about the mom's look? "It was my favorite, but this is NOT a mom's challenge!" MEOW!

Dmitry is next. Sorry, what is it? Garden gnome or a Klu Klux Klan Christmas outfit? It is just to weird. Wait, it comes with a built in cape if you unzip the hood! That settles that argument. It's for the KKK. The judges see super heroes. Okay. Nina, try whipping that kid in and out of that get up at a moments notice! On a more sane note, Hilary loves the mom's outfit.

They saved the best for last, Christopher's white floral appliqué dress with denim jacket. Nina sees adorable, but unpractical. Heidi loves it and recognizes the hanger appeal it will have in her collection. Mom's dress also is given good marks. MK feels both mom and baby are dressed for the same event. Hilary likes both jacket and dress along with the head piece. Good accessorizing makes all the difference.

The boys outfits are judged first. MK likes Fabio's nod to nautical. Hilary sees it as practical with the velcro closures and on top of that, very cute. Nina loved Fabio's — boyish, fun, easy and practical. Sonjia is next. Everyone likes this look. I just don't feel it as practical. I see mom, rushing to get Junior dressed and she's looking for either the jacket or pants. Maybe one's still in the laundry hamper? Dmitry's look is a success with the judges. Nina sees a red crayon, not a garden gnome? I'm disappointed in her.

Next are the girl's looks. Christopher is a hit with all the judges. Only MK sees a jacket for a toddler this small as being a tug of war to put on and keep on. Agree — mom's going to wind up carrying it.

Elena is going down fast. As much as they loved the jacket the comment about hand me downs/sample sale is stuck in their minds.

Melissa fairs just as poorly. Her dress was too grown up for this toddler, draping, side zip and all. MK feels the vest is fantastic…NOT!

Sonjia wins the boy's challenge. I feel strongly that Fabio's look was better in so many ways. It definitely would have had major hanger appeal. Plus, being a total look in one piece it would be easier to care for and most definitely less expensive.

Christopher racks up another win. This one well-deserved.

Dear "beginning to grow on me" Elena is aufed for her sample sale mishmash of a look, even though her jacket was liked by all except Nina. This was a VERY tough choice. Melissa's look was equally as bad along with the fact that her vest was a total dud. Her prior wins definitely saved her. With five designers left, she may not be so lucky next time!