Well, well, well… It feels great to be back and especially sitting on the other side of target practice. The ouroboros that is “Project Runway” is back for yet a millionth season and I am super excited to be recapping for myLifetime.com. Is it just me or are you also waiting for Tim and Heidi to come out with walkers? Okay, so on with the show! I watched all 16 closet tours and the first episode three times to familiarize myself with all of the new, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed contestants. All of those smiles. All of that hope. Release the hounds!
The episode opens with a decadent party scene overlooking the New York City with champagne, fruit, candy, pastries, and balloons. It looks bougie and I love it. Sixteen designers all separately show up to the cocktail party eager to meet each other. Bottles are popped and half of them already seem drunk. So obviously this is the perfect time to announce the first do or die, which just so happens to be the dreaded unconventional challenge. Time to create a signature outfit using the surrounding party materials. They have to collect their materials in five minutes (aka trash the place like a Black Friday sale at Walmart). Ian is “emotionally attached” to the Polaroids for some inexplicable reason. A cat fight erupts between Corni and MJ over the flowers causing glass to fly. One word: drama. Nerdy Madonna (aka Erin) goes straight for anything yellow and I’m already excited. Heidi announces the thee minute mark while treating herself to fondue. Heidi eats? Time is called. Tim and Heidi cheers while drinking straight from the bottle. #classy
Critique time with Tim is here and from the look of things, b*tches better start stitches. Ian is persistently resistant to Tim’s opinion and does what he wants anyway. K… Tasha has to start all over again, oph. Erin is going all out with so much to do and only a couple hours til the end of the day. Laurence has a beaded necklace. Dexter is taking a pillow and an umbrella, cutting arm and waist holes in them and calling it. Tim caused a panic which triggered a oneon-one therapy sesh with Alex.
*Sidebar, isn’t Alex’s monotone voice somewhat soothing? Bueller? Bueller?
MJ made a messy magazine collage and Jenni calls Urkel’s dress “toenail clippings,” so now I can’t stop seeing that.
Everyone is working down to the wire. I have obviously been in this position so I feel for them and am super anxious, but GLUE FASTER! Zippers are zipped and off to the runway we go. Heidi comes out and everyone applauds like an “Oprah’s Favorite Things” episode. The judges sit through what I think is an exciting runway show. There is good, bad and ugly.
Mah-Jing – Thank God for the styling because the dress is eh.
Cornelius - All I see is a Japanese Jenner.
Sarah – It’s okay. The color palette is great and the styling worked.
Natalia – Love the balance of texture. I did want that skirt to be a bit shorter.
Spock – Grateful that he swapped the umbrella with something so much more interesting.
Rik – Boring. He could have really pushed the envelope with the silhouette.
Ian – A collection of pastel mustaches stuck to the front of a shift dress.
Tasha – I would have liked a shorter or less voluminous top so there would be more of a balance with the shapely drop crotch pant.
Erin – Yes! High fashion Lorax!
Linda – I would have liked a longer, tighter skirt with those hip structures. It reminds me too much of a Stormtrooper helmet this way. I like the laced-up back.
Kimber – I wanted to put her on the top of a Christmas tree.
Laurence – I expected WAY more given her closet tour and audition tape.
Brik – Disco Joan of Arc. The pants should have hit the floor, but I loved the piecing of the hats to create the top.
Urkel – Great vibrant colors which is distracting me from hearing Jenni say, “Toenail clippings.” Looks much better on the runway.
Roberi – Loved this! His construction is beautiful. I think it has great movement for being a solid structure.
Alex – The silhouette and the colors are great. Very “Oscar della Dior.”
Erin is rightfully crowned the winner. Her “two crazy/ one chill” ratio really worked here. The mixture of textures complimented each other well. It was editorial, well-made and looked expensive for being cut up wigs and gumballs. She nailed it. I can not WAIT to see what she does this season. I strongly disagree with Roberi being in the bottom. I would have put him in the top three. Ian is sent home. Girl, he is madder than a wet hen and can’t stop saying how much he likes his own dress. But when Tim gives advice, you better listen.
Overall, the season is off to a great start. The runway showed a lot of promise and the workroom showed a lot of characters.
PS: OMG, did we even talk about Jenni’s laugh?!