Movies
An Interview With Mary Griffith, the Inspiration Behind Prayers for Bobby
Learn more about Mary Griffith's emotional story which inspired the Lifetime movie "Prayers for Bobby." And look at personal photos of her family by clicking below. The film premieres Monday, January 24 at 9 pm, encoring January 25 at 8 pm and January 27 at 9 pm et/pt.
Topics: homosexuality, sigourney weaver, prayers for bobby More
When you think of Bobby, do you have any favorite memories of him?
Bobby was always such a friendly kid. He'd just run up to strangers and give them a big hug. My other kids were very reserved. Bobby really loved people.
How long was it before your other son, Eddie, shared Bobby's secret about being gay?
Actually, Eddie knew all along about Bobby's homosexuality. He knew for nearly two years before the rest of us. He had promised him that he would keep his secret from us, but when Bobby tried to commit suicide, he knew that he had to tell.
Was there a single moment when you realized Bobby "didn't choose" to be gay?
There really wasn't a single moment. Until Bobby's death, I was convinced that I could fix him, and nothing was going to change my mind about that. I guess his death was the moment. It wasn't until then that I realized how close-minded I had been. Reverend Larry Whitesell and his church opened up new ways of seeing the Bible and religion that changed my life.
Do you think Bobby's story would have been different if he'd come out in today's time?
No, unfortunately. My mind-set was completely tied up in the word of the gospel, and I couldn't hear anything differently. It wouldn't have made a difference whether this happened yesterday or several years ago. I couldn't hear anything else.
How do you and your family work to keep Bobby's memory alive?
We all think that Bobby is with us every day, so we don't really need to do anything special for his anniversary. But I know that my niece, the one we see in the movie [she has a cameo], does take flowers to him occasionally.
What advice would you give to parents who have just found out that their child is gay?
I've talked to many parents about this over the years. And I guess I'd just tell them to listen to their kids and to try not to push their opinions on them.
comments
You are a model to the rest of the world and I'm sure that Bobby is proud of you now....as we....the rest of the world are proud that you are an example of the fact that we can all learn, grow and become the informed and worldly people God really intended us to be.
God bless you - thank you again.
Paul
Thank you for having the courage to do what you have done, I am a gay male now 24 trying to start a PFLAG in Montana. I was very similar to Bobby in ways. I attempted suscide on multiple accounts and nearly succeeded but figured that was more damaging. I did not come out to my mom until a later time about when i was 21 but i was wondering in High School. I went to GSA meetings out of curiosity and was tagged as gay but that was nothing to me. I was tagged as gay very early. My mom is getting better but every mistake is brought up all the time but i am on my own now. When i tried to talk to her after watching this movie she was extremely cold and we didn't talk. Things are better now, you are my inspiration for the PFLAG in my local town. Again thank you so much for being yourself and allowing us the chance not only to see that we are not alone but also for the parents to know that they are not alone either. support for the parents and the GBLT is important. I hope that we could talk, and I would love if you could come to Montana and speak here, our youth are terrified of people in there schools and the counselors don't think there is a problem. My e-mail is dragonrainshadowdancer@yahoo.com. Thank you so much.
Dragonrain
for a while like a couple of months ago I tried out being a mormon and well I liked it at first I tried to get better because I thought I needed a change from the gay lifestyle.
well shortly after the visits to the church I realized how much of a hypocrite I was becoming telling people I wasnt gay and then secretly kissing guys on the side well it hurt my friendship with alot of people I am now in the wiccan religion as a gay teenager and I am strongly accepted by everyone and im no longer ashamed of myself for being gay. I cried during the scene of sigourney weaver at the gay pride festival and the conference she spoke at the music was part of the affect but the speech is what hit hard the most
I am in search of other bobby's out their as well and to let them know that HOMOSEXUALITY is not a SIN love thyself and be proud of who you are for that is the beginning of a beautiful thing we are all good in our own ways whether were black,white,puerto rican we are all connected under one thing eachother
" god bless you mary griffith
I am reading prayers for bobby and downloaded the movie
so i can watch it over and over again "
I know that I am very late reading/responding to this post, but if there is any way that I can help you, don't hesitate to contact me at dsalstrom@live.com. Also, there are other national resources out there available to you. A particularly good one is thetrevorproject.org. Please, seek out the help you need. I wish you nothing but peace and love.
Please don't miss understand I do not hate these men and women at all, in fact I have a brother, 1/2 brother, 2nd cousin and a son who all say they were born this way. I also know a few women who feel the same way. They were not born Gay no one is, it is a life style they choose to live and yes God loves them just as much, but He hates there life style.
My payers are for your family and the loss of a wonderful son who choose the cowards way out of this life in stead of asking God to help him and you as a family get through this. Do I believe he is in Heaven? Yes I do and I also believe God took his desires away from him but not before he died, for that I am truly sorry and I also know I will probally see a lot of negitive stuff about my feeling on this subject, so be it. I do stand on the Word of God, a very Loving God at that.
Thank you for taking the time to read this ( if you do or don't ) Thank you
Spirituality is a personal conviction that is between God and that person. Overzealous religious people ruin lives and push people away with their know it all, depressing, finger pointing attitudes. No where in the Bible do the words say Homosexuality is a sin. It's man made rules that you people keep passing down from generation to generation. The "Good ole Boys" syndrome, I feel sorry for you.
My name is Brett and I have something I want to share with you, or possibly this audience of readers. My hope is that you or someone whom you may know will be as excited about what I am doing as I am. I am a thirty six year old gay man who survived growing up Mormon. I have a story that is full of pain, anguish and joy too. Much like many, it is a story of religion and the courage to risk everything in search of this thing we have in common. self.
I experience in my life today a feeling of peace that I never thought I was worthy of. It took time, but the peace came.
I have the ability to help the Bobby's out there. But to do so I need some support.
Life has opened a new opportunity for me, a new option, one in which I want to open to you.
I have been given a property. It is a beautiful retreat center that is nestled on the cliff of a deep river canyon in the high deserts of Utah. It looks over a river and the green valley floor. This property can sleep thirty people, its lodge and outbuildings are set in the most pristine landscape I have expereinced in my entire life.
The property is built! It is only a question of what purpose will it serve?
I am compiling a book of the true stories of gay men who share the gay / religion connection and all the dynanamics wrapped within. I am looking for the stories of those who have found the peace on the other side of that journey and want to share it in support of all those who can't see through the size of their experience.
It is my intention that the publication of this book with photography of these men in their natural life will show men and women in this situation that there is a way to walk into their life with dignity and with authority.
It is also my intention that this book will be the catalyst that will support this international support center. This book will let people know that there is a place where they can find support. A tranquil natural sapce where personal work can be done in workshop, or,j ust a safe place to land at an unsafe time. There are centers to help gay men be strait. What if there was a dedicated center to help gay men be gay....to come to peace with what and who they are.
I need support to accomplish this. If you or any reader feels any inspiration or would like to be involved,
please write me at brettbluth@hotmail.com
thanks for sharing bobby's story.To tell you the truth i watch it all the time,i am not gay but i do have friends that are and i support them,i hate to see that bobby saw the only way was to comitt suicide.I always belive god forgives people i do belive he has went to heaven and is in a wonderful place.From watching the moving he seems to be an amazing person.Once again i love you for sharing his story.
-lifeiscrazy145
thanks for sharing bobby's story.To tell you the truth i watch it all the time,i am not gay but i do have friends that are and i support them,i hate to see that bobby saw the only way was to comitt suicide.I always belive god forgives people i do belive he has went to heaven and is in a wonderful place.From watching the moving he seems to be an amazing person.Once again i love you for sharing his story.
-lifeiscrazy145
Thanks you for sharing yours and Bobby's story. As a young gay man, I saw a lot of myself in Bobby. When I was in high school I struggled with being gay and Catholic. I thought about suicide often, and even cleaned out my stuff from the school lockers, and almost cut my wrists. This story has touched me in a way I never thought possible. It has made me more comfortable with my sexuality, and life. It makes me hopeful that someday the world can understand homosexuality and change. You are an inspiration to me, and I will never forget this story. Thank you for your hard work. You and your family are truly blessed. I have no doubt Bobby is proud of you, and that he is smiling down from Heaven. God bless you and your family Mrs. Griffith, and thank you. Thank you for giving me hope, and a feeling that I'm not alone in how I felt/feel.
I just wanted to say that I'm glad y'all are handling this very well.I know that you still feel guilt from time to time.but I just want to let you know that I'm praying for you and your family every night for y'all to have comfort and everything.
I would like to think I could've stopped Bobby from doing what he did,but of course,I was a baby at the time.
The movie was just so touching,and everything.
Again,I'm praying for God to comfort y'all in days to come.
I was so very fortunate at the age of 26 to have a loving mother who supported me when I did come out and try to make peace with this whole issue. I personally would not have been okay had I not. (This in no way condemns Mary, as she did the very best she could with the knowledge she had at the time.) I quickly learned that not only does my mother love me unconditionally (I still haven't told my dad, as he's shown in other ways his love is conditional at best), but that God loves me too. I wasn't expecting to find that.
So, here I am a couple of years down the road from when I first came out, still at odds with it all at times (particularly as I watch my best friend get married...I'm trying to be happy, but yet I feel cheated out of this opportunity), but just hoping and praying that regardless of the purpose for it being in my life I will somehow be an aid to someone else struggling so that they too may realize that life is worth living. If nothing else, I would be content if only this came from my time on this earth.
To Mary, Bobby, and Lifetime--thank you. Truly. To those young/old men and women carrying this burden and looking over this site in hopes of finding some comfort and reassurance (I know I found myself doing so from any source I could), please know that it will be okay. You're a person of worth and of great value to those who love you and to God Himself--even if you can't begin to fathom that. As you struggle and go along this journey, wherever it may take you, know this--you are loved! Keep fighting on.