As a single mom who has read just about every how-to dating guide for single parents, the most common advice is, "Keep your kids out of it."

As a single parent, it's a big no-no to let a parade of "friends" come and go through your bedroom. If you had a miserable date, tell your girlfriends all about it — not your kid. If you're going to have an overnight guest, do it when your kid is not at home.

But what happens if you've been dating someone for a couple of months, and not only does he seem like a gem, but your closest girlfriends have given him the thumbs-up? No red flags are waving, so it feels natural to take the next step. Also, when my daughter hits adolescence (she's only seven now), I sure hope she keep me up-to-date about her romantic rendezvous.

So I've introduced my daughter to a few promising guys. But she's snubbed nearly all of them.

One particular incident involved a local divorced dad whose tween daughters went to the same after-school program that my daughter did. Not only was he super-hot — he worked out every day, cooked, had a shaved head — he was also a cop. Need I say more?

We had one sweet Chinese dinner date alone, but mostly we talked on the phone and e-mailed (he signed his name "Big Tiger") because trying to plan an actual grown-up night out proved to be challenging, between finding someone to care for my kid and his.

Spontaneously, one evening, he called and invited my daughter and me out for frozen yogurt with his girls. (My advice: Always plan the meeting in a kid-friendly setting that's geared toward your children. In my case, my daughter loves the park or ice cream. And keep it short, less than an hour.)

Let me just say that the actual time it took to get my daughter and myself ready for the date — bathed, hair washed, stain-less outfits picked out — took more time than the actual date.

When we reached the frozen-yogurt spot downtown, I gave the cop a quick hug. He bent down on one knee and said, "Hi!"

She gripped my arm and looked down at the floor, saying nothing.

"Hi, darling!" he tried again.

No response.

"She's shy," I said, feeling uncomfortable.

But she wasn't usually, and certainly wasn't shy when she ordered a vanilla-chocolate swirl with rainbow sprinkles on top. Then she crawled into my lap and her head kept bumping my spoon, so that I smeared chocolate across my cheek repeatedly.

Still, in the end, it was not her reaction to the date that mattered to me. After all, she's a kid. What mattered was: How did he respond to her antics?

One of my single-mom friends recently told me that "the good part" about introducing your date to your child "is that he can see how crazy our lives are, between soccer, baseball, Cub Scouts, homework, and tantrums ... He should know that most of the time everything is great, but there are a few bumps."

So when you introduce your child to your date, and he/she acts out (the kid, I mean, not the date), watch your date's reaction.

Does your date become a kid himself, by acting sarcastic ("Well, this is a load of fun, isn't it?")? Does he get nervous ("I should really go now")? Does he try to interrupt your child? Does he try to get a reaction out of your child by, say, tickling her (which will only make her more uncomfortable)? If so, the relationship probably won't work out.

Or, does he act like a grown-up and understand that she's a kid and this situation might be a little uncomfortable?

In the end, that's what the cop did. I was easily wooed. However, we didn't live happily ever after. Soon after, he told me that he and his ex had rekindled their romance. That was the end of that. And on to the next dating adventure ...

Rachel Sarah is the author of "Single Mom Seeking: Playdates, Blind Dates, and Other Dispatches from the Dating World" (Seal Press/Avalon, 2007).