Your fingertips are ready to dance. They want to do the seven-digit waltz to the tune of your ex's telephone number. Don't let them. Contrary to popular belief, breaking up isn't hard to do. Breakups can be easy when they happen because one person decides that they don't want to be in a particular relationship anymore. Continuing to call your ex only prolongs the inevitable — his exit from your life. Here are four tips that will help stop you from dialing his number.

 

1. Be honest with yourself


You can't get over your ex if you're not being honest with yourself about how you truly feel about him. Ask yourself: "Why do I want to call my ex?" In some cases, the answer is clear: "I want my stuff back." In other cases, the answers may be more complex. Make a list of reasons why you think you should call him. Separate the list into needs and wants. In most cases, you only need to call your ex if he is holding your children or high-priced personal property hostage. If you don't need to call him, don't. He's moving on with his life. Once you begin to move on with yours, you'll clear the way for the next great guy you're bound to encounter sooner or later.

 

2. Dump the baggage


It's hard to let go and move forward while holding on to the past. Don't save the leftovers from yesterday's relationship. Erase your ex's old voicemail messages from your phone. You don't need them. Listening to his voice over and over again gives you a false sense that there's still hope for the relationship. If it's over, it's over. The longer you allow the fantasy to live on, the harder it will be to get over him. When you stop the fantasy, your desire to call him will slowly begin to fade away. Holding on to the fantasy of a past relationship can jeopardize future relationships, says Bonnie Eaker Weil, PhD, author of the book "Make Up, Don't Break Up." "You have to say goodbye to the old before you can say hello to the new," she says. Eaker Weil equates the stages of getting over a relationship to the process of getting over a death. Acceptance is the final stage.

 

3. Stop chasing him


As tempting as it may be, do not "accidentally" put yourself in your ex's path. Don't try to connect to him by calling his friends or family. Don't go to places that you know he'll be. If you do these things and you happen see your ex, it's not because he's following you. It's because you're following him. Increasing the number of times that you see him by "accident" increases the likelihood that you'll want to call him.

 

4. Re-evaluate


You're a smart woman. You already know that you'll eventually get over your ex, and you don't need anyone to tell you that again. So, why do you want so badly to call your ex? Chances are pretty good that the clearest answer to that question is this: because you're human. You're reading an article titled "Don't Call Your Ex" because, possibly, you haven't completely decided to let go of him yet. That's OK. In the hustle and bustle of everyday life, it's easy to forget that we all have a basic need for human touch and affection. Now is a perfectly good time to have another look at your attitudes toward relationships. Eaker Weil says that people hold on to relationships for specific reasons, and breakups are "good opportunities for growth." Try to figure out why you want to hold on to your ex, and think about how you will navigate your next relationship differently. You will get the love that you deserve — even if it's not from your ex.