When it comes to the dating game, winning takes a little luck — and a whole lot of strategy. "Lucky in love" women don't just roll the dice and hope for the best; they adapt their relationship search to fit their life stages. So whether you've been looking for romance for years or decades, we've got the right advice for you.

 

Your Twenties: Don't Get Stranded on Fantasy Island
Most women in their twenties are consumed by romantic fantasies, say relationship experts Judith Sherven and Jim Sniechowski, a husband-and-wife team who've authored "Be Loved for Who You Really Are." "The danger is, they have an image of what they want, and they look for someone to fit that fantasy — without discovering what that other person is really like," says Sniechowski.

The fix? Dump those preconceived notions about Prince Charming, says relationship coach Patti Feinstein. If you don't, you'll probably pass up some good partners. "When we're growing up, we imagine the man we'll marry and what he'll be like," she says. That's fine — until your Imaginary Man turns into a checklist to size up real men. "This would be a good time to shred [the checklist]," says Feinstein. As you have more life experiences, realize that your list of important qualities will continue to change.

Your Thirties: Embrace That Yin-Yang Thing
"Women in their thirties are more likely to appreciate the differences between two people. Appreciating differences is the key to having a successful relationship," says Sniechowski. In their own marriage, Jim is the big-picture guy, while Sherven attends to details; initially those differences led to frustration and conflict, Sniechowski says, but they ultimately led to a mutual appreciation. "‘Happily ever after' doesn't mean you're practically identical," says Sherven.

If you meet a guy in your thirties and your life goals don't match up, however, consider it a deal-breaker. "Do you both want a family, or not?" says Feinstein. "If your career is important to you, will he be supportive of that, or threatened?"

Also, thirtysomethings need to seek relationships with partners who are willing to learn and grow together, says Sniechowski. Don't confuse "grow" with "DIY project," though. He notes that some women at this age feel pressure to find a mate, so they talk themselves into a relationship that's less than ideal — and then try to change the man.

Your Forties: Muzzle the Voice of Self-Doubt
"Fortysomething women sometimes think if they haven't gotten married yet, they need to do it now. They also tend to think if they ever wanted to have a child, this is their last opportunity," Feinstein says. "It's almost a time of desperation." And if desperation drives you into a relationship, it won't be pretty.

That "now or never" perception makes fortysomethings the most likely group to rush into the wrong relationship, Feinstein says. "This is a critical time, so take a deep breath ... and remind yourself that some of the happiest people have never gotten married, had children, or had a glamorous career."

Fortysomethings who have success with dating tend to respect themselves for not settling just to get a ring on their finger, says Sherven. "They know they deserve something special, and continue to grow their lives."

At this age, women often reach new levels of emotional complexity — whether it means recovering from a divorce or caring for an aging parent. It helps to have a partner who will weather the storm with you, and not chase after blue skies. Look for a man who can adapt when life throws him a curveball. "If there was a crisis in his life, how did he respond?" says Sniechowski. "Is he still being undone by it, carrying around bitterness from something that happened when he was 22?" The way he handles the past reflects strongly on how he'll tackle the future.

Your Fifties and Sixties: You're in Control (Not Your Family)
"The older you get, the more your life should really belong to you," says Sniechowski. "But many people focus on their children and grandchildren instead." As families grow, they can complicate a budding relationship. Sniechowski and Sherven cite a sixtysomething couple they know: The man doesn't have offspring, but the woman has numerous children and grandchildren. "They have to carefully explore how to blend all of that, and not lose the special connection between the couple."