I wish I could have a boy toy — you know, a laid-back lover with whom I could have some safe, responsible sex every once in a while. But I'm a single mom fresh on the dating scene. I'm vulnerable. Being vulnerable isn't necessarily a bad thing. Unless you feel like a raw steak, like I sometimes do.

 

I'm the type of person who gets attached when someone touches me. All that "no-strings-attached" chatter doesn't work for me. This is how my DNA is wired. I just can't help it.

Even so, I still wonder on behalf of all the other solo parents out there: When you're a single mom, how can you date for short-term fun? "Most women have trouble with a just-for-the-moment kind of relationship," says Leah Klungness, PhD, author of "The Complete Single Mother: Reassuring Answers to Your Most Challenging Questions." "We can spend a lot of energy — often with rotten consequences — convincing ourselves that this hunk of a gorgeous guy really is more than an eye-popping set of six-pack abs.

"Remember when your mom used to say something would stop being fun when someone got hurt?" Dr. Klungness says. "Well, she was right!"

Along with having boundaries and using protection, that means keeping Mr. Short Term just that. "Introducing your kids to men designated as fun isn't really a smart move," Klungness says. "Why would you share the most intimate, fabulous, best thing about you when you are not even sure (or care) if you want him around for the long haul?"

If I had any doubts about the complications of bringing a Boy Toy home, this moment clarified everything:

I was just wrapping up this column when my seven-year-old daughter walked up.

"I want to go to the library," she said.

But then she looked at my computer screen, pointed, and said, "Mommy, what's a boy toy?"

Do you think I'm wrong? Can a single mom have her kid and her boy-toy cake too? I want to know what you're thinking, so share your thoughts below. I can't wait to find out what all of you have to say.