Get answers about how you relate to your loved ones.

Is Your Romantic Past Haunting You?

Is Your Romantic Past Haunting You?

by Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D.

It's over! Really. Done. Kaput. Or is it? Sure, you haven't so much as shared a cup of coffee — let alone a bed — with the guy in months, but is that old flame still quietly burning in your heart?

There's a knight in shining armor from your past, and if he showed up one day, you'd drop everything (and anyone) to be with him.
1 of 7 questions

Option A

Yep

Option B

No, the past needs to stay there!

When you hear a sappy song that you and your old beau used to slow dance to, you:
2 of 7 questions

Option A

Think about the good times and mist up.

Option B

Think about the bad times and get angry.

Option C

Think of him but don't get emotional about it.

Option D

Don't even associate the cheesy tune with him.

Back in the day, you were quite the wild child. Now, out of the blue, a guy you once went crazy with calls you. You:
3 of 7 questions

Option A

Joke about the good old days, now gone forever.

Option B

Blush with shame.

Option C

Feel compelled to bring the crazy you out of retirement.

Option D

Get defensive as soon as you know who is on the other end.

You used to think true love would last forever.
4 of 7 questions

Option A

And you still do.

Option B

But now you've learned that no matter how good it is, eventually it spoils.

Deep down inside, do you still think that you're the same person you were in your last bad relationship?
5 of 7 questions

Option A

Totally.

Option B

Somewhat the same, but you've grown a lot.

Option C

You don't think so, but you're not sure what you'd be like if you were in a similar relationship again.

Option D

No, you've changed significantly.

When you make love, you:
6 of 7 questions

Option A

Regularly fantasize about a guy you used to love.

Option B

Sometimes think about the guy you used to love.

Option C

Fantasize about many different men from affairs past.

Option D

Almost always focus on the guy you're with.

Which of the following best describes your feelings about the last relationship that you wanted to work out but didn't?
7 of 7 questions

Option A

"He was the love of my life; I'll never get over it."

Option B

"It may never be that good again, but I'll get over it someday."

Option C

"I'm over it, but I worry about ever finding another great love."

Option D

"I'm over it; I learned a lot from it; and even if I don't have something excellent right now, I believe I eventually will."