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Upcoming show on LifeTime: "Deadbeat Dads"
Lifetime TV announced the launch of its new, father-bashing reality show Deadbeat Dads last week.
According to The Hollywood Reporter, “Deadbeat Dads, originally developed at Fox, follows National Child Support founder Jim Durham as he tracks down and confronts dads who don’t pay child support.” According to Reuters, Durham “functions as a sort of ‘Dog the Bounty Hunter’ for tracking deadbeats…It’s ambush reality TV.” Durham will target fathers who are behind on their child support by “making their lives miserable — foreclosing on their house, repossessing their car. He will squeeze them.”
“Unfair to men.”–Syndicated advice columnist Amy Alkon, on Deadbeat Dads
Last April, Fathers&Families led a highly-publicized campaign against the show (originally called “Bad Dads”) and got Fox to drop it. Now Lifetime TV, which reaches nearly 100 million households, has picked up Deadbeat Dads, which unfairly depicts divorced fathers as uncaring and selfish. Research clearly shows that most divorced dads pay their child support and remain a part of their children’s lives, often under difficult circumstances. In fact, federal government data shows that the overwhelming majority of “deadbeat dads” earn poverty level wages–only 4% earn even $40,000 a year.
Deadbeat Dads kicks fathers while they’re down. Media reports show the majority of those losing their jobs in this recession are men, and child support orders are notoriously difficult to modify downward. As the New York Times, the Boston Globe, and other papers have documented, these hard luck dads sometimes end up in jail.
The worst part about Deadbeat Dads is the way it publicly humiliates children in single parent families by depicting their fathers as not loving or caring for them. How is a child to feel when he or she sees their dad being vilified on TV because he allegedly doesn’t love or provide for them? How is the child to feel when he or she is reminded of this by friends or teased about it on the schoolyard?
Yes, reality shows do sometimes intrude on people’s privacy, but rarely do they cast aspersions on something as intimate and emotional as parents’ love for their children. Also, most reality show participants are volunteers. These children did not volunteer to be humiliated on national television.
Dr. Linda Nielsen, President of the American Coalition for Fathers & Children, which participated in the Bad Dads campaign last year, says:
The show will offend and insult millions of American parents and grandparents and could harm millions of children. Kids are too young to realize that 80% of divorced dads pay their full child support, and may form negative opinions of divorced fathers–opinions which could damage their relationships with their own dads.
Legislative advocate Michael Robinson of the California Alliance for Fathers & Children, which participated in the Bad Dads campaign last year, says:
A show of this nature is demeaning to fathers and perpetuates many ill-founded myths surrounding child support.
According to US Census data, noncustodial mothers are 20% more likely to default on their child support obligations than noncustodial fathers. It is misleading and unfair to name the show Deadbeat Dads when the average noncustodial father is more likely to pay his child support than the average noncustodial mother.
Another problem with Deadbeat Dads is that studies show that the arrearages for which “deadbeat dads” are pursued are often erroneous. For example, a recent Massachusetts audit found that the arrearages were incorrect in 92% of that state’s cases.
The California Department of Child Support Services itself admitted last year that the overwhelming majority of “deadbeat dads” are the product of problems and abuses within the child support system. Missouri Child Support Auditor Susan Montee recently called the way Missouri calculates child support arrearages “extremely sloppy…a total inattention to making sure these numbers are right.”
Moreover, Deadbeat Dads glorifies the role of private child support collection agencies, even though these agencies often manhandle fathers and exploit and deceive custodial mothers. In fact, women’s advocates, including the National Organization for Women, have repeatedly condemned these agencies for mistreating women. Durham, the central figure in Deadbeat Dads, has often been singled out by women’s groups as a perpetrator of these abusive tactics.
For example, the National Organization for Women says “privatizing child support collection is a truly bad idea.” They explain:
“Unregulated private collection companies keep 30 to 40% of the funds secured from parents owing support payments. As we have seen from experiences in various states where private collection companies operate in child support payment collection, some families get nothing back – even after paying hefty fees for those services…vulnerable families [are subjected] to potentially unscrupulous collection companies.”
According to TIME Magazine’s “Deadbeat Profiteers” (9/2/02), “aggravated spouses…gripe [about] profiteering companies…State agencies and nonprofit organizations have received hundreds of complaints in the past few years from clients who feel bilked. Some custodial parents don’t realize how difficult the contracts are to cancel and find themselves paying exorbitant fees for services that aren’t fully delivered…[they're accused of] misleading advertising and unconscionable contracts.”
Geraldine Jensen, founder of the Association for Children for Enforcement of Support, whose members are custodial parents seeking child support, says:
We have all sorts of people who have gone to private agencies and feel ripped off and lied to…[the firms] are preying on people.
In addition, child support collector Jim Durham, who is at the center of Lifetime’s Deadbeat Dads, has been the target of many custodial mothers’ complaints. SmartMoney magazine detailed private child support collections agencies’ abuses in their article Mother’s Little Helpers (8/2/02), and they specifically point to Durham as one of the leading culprits. According to SmartMoney:
[Durham's] National takes a whopping 34% of any money that comes in. That’s not just of collections it has a hand in. It’s of any child support the parent forks out until the back sum is paid…the bill creeps even higher once other charges such as application and administration fees are tacked on…
Talk to parents and advocacy groups and it isn’t long before you come across tales of people locked into contracts they didn’t understand. Of private agencies taking a cut of money they hadn’t helped collect, such as wages garnished by the government. Of firms harassing noncustodial parents with questionable tactics…
With complaints pouring in from moms, some states are mulling over putting hard caps on the amount private firms can collect.
Private child support collection agencies often make mistakes which ruin lives. According to SmartMoney magazine:
You could find a deadbeat dad hunter knocking on your door even if you’re paid up on child support. It happened to Otto Tidwell. The host of a home-improvement radio show (Mr. Fix-It) in Denver, Tidwell was surprised when he got a call in 1999 from a private agency saying he owed around $200,000, dating to his divorce in 1974.
“The collector was very aggressive and threatening, calling me a deadbeat dad, saying they were going to get me one way or another, that there are remedies for people like me,’ says Tidwell, 60. ‘There were threats of court action; they were going to attach my wages and do all sorts of things. They even called my wife and threatened her to get to me.’
True, Tidwell had once fallen behind in his support payments by $672, but that was back in 1981, and he had long since caught up. He tried to explain that to the collection agent but didn’t make much headway. ‘She didn’t care,’ he recalls.
Tidwell called the courts to get proof he was paid up. Then he called in his lawyer, who fired off a letter to the firm slamming its ‘intimidation and coercion’ and ‘unsupported harassment.’ The firm eventually backed off, but not before Tidwell had the pants scared off him. ‘If I hadn’t kept every bit of documentation with me, they might be hounding me to this day. Or I might have even been suckered into paying something I didn’t owe.’
In 2006, Michael Robinson presented Assembly Member Mark Leno with a case where a private collection agency had contacted an alleged Obligor father claiming he had not paid his child support for the last 15 years. According to Robinson:
The collection agency made threats to place a lien on the father’s property and other hostile actions. The private agency had been contacted by the Obligee mother, who had recently learned that the father had come into a substantial inheritance. Fortunately the father in this case had every single canceled check and receipt showing he had paid all of his support over the years on time. The child was 23 years of age at the time this took place.
To email and fax a letter to Lifetime Executives protesting this show, click here. Also, please call Lifetime TV’s main switchboard at 310 556-7500.
Television is already rife with negative, misleading and unfair depictions of fathers–Deadbeat Dads promises to be one of the worst examples. Many successful, highly-visible commentators have recently gone on record as opposing the negative way the media portrays men and fathers. These include:
- Syndicated columnist Kathleen Parker, whose weekly columns appear in 300 newspapers;
- TV host Bill Maher;
- CBS News anchor Charles Osgood;
- Nationally syndicated radio-talk-show host Laura Schlessinger
- Leading advertising executives Bob Jeffery, chairman of JWT, one of the world’s largest advertising agencies
- Marian Salzman, chief marketing officer of Porter Novelli
- Syndicated Advice Columnist Amy Alkon
- Syndicated columnist Jacey Eckhart
- Chicago Tribune columnist Ross Werland
- Glenn Reynolds of Instapundit
- TV Host/Psychologist Helen Smith
- Christine B. Whelan, author of “Why Smart Men Marry Smart Women”
- Major-market-talk-show hosts Al Rantel, Mike McConnell, Ron Smith and Joe Elliott
How fathers are portrayed matters. Fatherlessness is one of the greatest threats our children face. Syndicated columnist Leonard Pitts Jr. recently said: “Twenty-eight percent of American kids … are growing up in fatherless homes, heir to all the struggle and dysfunction that condition portends. … Who can deny those [are] appalling numbers[?]”
Among the many ills of fatherlessness are much higher rates of teen drug abuse, crime, pregnancy and school dropouts.
While the media’s negative depiction of fathers certainly isn’t the cause of fatherlessness, it is part of the problem. In a TV culture like ours, the fact that the only fathers one can see on TV are buffoons and villains does influence young people’s perceptions of fathers.
For young men, it makes it less likely they’ll aspire to be fathers, see their own value as fathers or, as Mr. Pitts explains, want to do the “hard but crucial work of being Dad.” For young women, it means they’ll be more likely to be misled into thinking that their children’s fathers aren’t important, that divorce or separation from them is no big deal, or that they should, as is the increasing trend, simply dispense with dad altogether and have children on their own.
I ask that LifeTime network please re-consider its decision to air this terrible show Deadbeat Dads.
Thank you.
11 Comments
If they want to put this on air then they should do one on Deadbeat Moms, it's not only the dads who do not pay. I have been in court on 7 contempt charges against the mother, each and every time she gets away with having to do nothing yet she owes close to 6,000 in arrears. I'll be glad to go on the show just to show that the women are just as irresponsible.
Let the show run! Bring it to everyones attention. It's needed. There are reality shows about "EVERYTHING" why not about the dads who need to be held accountable. The government can't get to them all, so let the media push at them. The media is responsible for a lot of information needed to all those "dads" who are thought of to be saints & good people yet they are not feeding our babies. Why should the women in our society have to be slaves to the system. We do our best & it's really hard sometimes, it's not fair. They're irresponsible & think they're smarter then everyone because they're getting away with keeping there money. If my "deadbeat baby daddy" goes on one more trip to Vegas, while my house goes into foreclosure. I'm just saying. Bring this show out. PLEASE - lets make a stand by using the media for help.
Thanks Lifetime
Julie I agree with you 100%. The system is horrible! I too have a dead beat ex husband who gets paid under the table and does very well. He has always earned a six figure salary. Now he is claiming he is broke due to the economy. He has not see our daughter in over six months and he lives not even ten minutes away in the same town. It has cost me over $15K to try to fight him in court. Attorneys have cost me a fortunate and yet still nothing has been done. He barely gets a slap on the wrist. The courts order him to pay yet he never does but he does not face any charges. He hired a very expensive attorney to represent himself (her fee $300 per hr) and she basically spun every charge or contemp of court charge and got him free of it. I kept asking the judges how could he afford an attorney at $300 per hr but not afford child support. She herself lied and told the judge he was paying her a small monthly fee. I don't know any attorney who doesn't charge a large retainer to start off with. It's just criminal what is being allowed to go on. I am struggling as well yet my wonderful ex eats out every meal....has talked his landlord into letting him live rent free in exchange for work on the property, he does not have a car payment....yet he can't afford child support or be even bothered to call his eigh year old daughter. It's pathetic!
How is it that deadbeat dads stay protected in today’s society? How come dads who blatantly don’t pay, quit jobs, work under the table or work for themselves retain more rights than the children they are not supporting or the mothers trying desperately to fight the backward system. Or even worse a mother who defends her case in court and yes, displays emotions when presenting the facts in this unjust situation, leaves labeled as “vindictive” because she must be a detective, lawyer and a protector for her children.
Feeling emotionally drained, beat up and stuck in a losing battle, many mothers just give up. It takes your time and energy away from your children. Keeping them as a priority keeps you in conflict, wanting to continue to fight for what is right but retaining all your energy and strength to focus on them is not easy. In the end when you feel defeated, you regret even trying to go after the financial obligation your children’s father doesn’t pay.
When the arrearage for child support was over 4000.00, I decided to return to this battlefield. The court date came and he responded with, he really wasn’t working because of the crumbling economy, and he was losing his truck. My counter attack, a report from a private investigator showing he was working, owned a business and second vehicle. Open and shut? No, he was sent off with strict orders to follow, but no other real consequence for not paying on time and being behind.
After two months of not following the orders, we appeared again. His child support arrearage increased by 1000.00 and he again sang the same story of financial hardship, as well as ignorance to understanding the order, his business was still failing and was still losing his truck. My counter attack, I supplied the court with check stubs, bank accounts and hire dates, all which I subpoenaed myself. He received more guidelines for him to follow but this time a suspended sentence was attached, 30 days to serve in jail if he had not complied within the 2 month return date. Separate from the court order, The Department of Revenue/Child Enforcement suspended his license due to nonpayment of child support, which he of course blamed on me, stating to the court that many others owed much more then him and loosing his license was unjust.
Two months later we stood in front of the court for a third time in 6 months, he claimed he worked but made no money for himself, he didn’t take a paycheck, and that he knew nothing about the court order . Of course he blamed me that I was the cause of him losing his job. He never made one payment.
He left the court with a continued sentence until August, receiving verbal guidelines to meet, and lowered child support to 100.00. The judge did read him the riot act, but then turned to me and reprimanded me as well. She claimed I was being vindictive by getting him to loose his job. I was told not to contact his employer.
It didn’t matter that he lied in the past and getting information was important to prove his ability to pay, she was mad at me. I was too emotional; therefore vindictive. He was going to serve 30 days; I didn’t need to get him fired. I filed a motion for more child support, why get him fired? I worked so hard proving he was working why would I want him to lose his job? Now with arrearage at around 6,700.00, in August it would be 2 months short of a year from the time I first filed with the courts.
I sit here again rethinking if it’s really worth it? The system is flawed, slow, burnt, and unfair. It favors the fathers who remain deadbeats because innocent till proven guilty, due process and its all who presents a better case, not about the children. It’s not about the children or the mothers who must balance it all alone. It’s about how to, beat the system, stay one step under the radar, being dishonest, untruthful and most off all, being a deadbeat dad.
I definitely do not want to see this show and have been at both ends of the spectrum. Fathers do not have rights as females have so many advocate agencies to contact.. You have to deal with the state for which "they" reside in, lawyers from "their" state (agencies & lawyers in your state unless the party responds but does not have to) based on their state cost of living, all the attorney fees for fighting discrepencies or r ghts as visitation which were entered in your decree for which you would rather see the money going to the child.
Sorry to the spouse but economy and life changes where once you had a high paying job and now are forced to accept a lower pay job and cannot afford original decree. Fathers are working 2-3 jobs to keep up and is this fair to their own family? Companies, especially small are ignorant to deductions. They go after them so they want no mistakes and it becomes unfair to do all the extra paperwork involved. If your hrs. are cut, whether by co. or self due to illness etc.. your original dedduction is to be prorated. Understanding that this effects the other person, the spouse could be taking hime $25, $50 checks. The money still does need to catch up so don't get me wrong.
In our case, spouse moved from another state to another state. Father was severly burned, 3rd & 4th degree, not to return to work for at least a yr. and could not work in that state as was not released by dr.. Moved to another because he was a good father but time caught up with him. For her, it was good because she receives more from the state. We had good case mworker from her state with everything supposedly transferred. Then the man from, hmmm. for 4 yrs. After so many problems, received an angel caseworker and he was canned. He did a lot of wrong and we suffered. Note: she was living with someone who could financially provide, wanted ex out of picture and relinquish rights as a father. We had a call, saying he was "such state" child support enforcer, threatening loss of license, jail times and liens for $75,000 in arrears. After having to sit thru weekend, his "angel" support enforcer said private investigators can impersonate anyone for which spouse had hired. plus various agencies. Case was reviewed with all canceled checks for years and or documentation from jobs, divorce decree and were current in payments. Relentlessly, contacted spouse which then turned into hangups (she had seen the lies) dropped her from child support system, contacted the various agencies for which she was dropped and set up court case to be done by phone as in another state. Payments were lowered. Then disability, received twice as much although no visitation and few phone calls were allowed. Then disability was going to hold back his money fro arrears from original state . for which was cleared as no arrears. Funny how that letter to them showed up all of a sudden, her state and contacts, and after 5 yrs. we were acually getting a response which we never got before nor attorney hired, Hmmmm Now that he resides in assisted living, this has taken a toll on him with 2 major strokes, he is no threat and she receives Social Security and all calls go thru. There are 2 sides to every story but the dads are getting slammed. I was on the receiving end , just had surgery when it went down, no job, etc.. Even though it was a mess divorce, my first concern remained with my child and her contact with her dad and new step mom. Not easy, believe me. Her dad has passed and now years later, she is still in contact with step mom and I have told her to tell her "thank you" as she kept her dad in contact and helped raise a wonderful daughter. We are not talking about the guys that can't keep it in their pants, we are addressing real dads. I got a job, raised her and feel proud for it. If you have a show, let the dads (sometimes moms pay) have the floor. Your spouse could be dead and still possibly not collect anything and you would be forced to do it on your own.
This show is a bad idea. Most dads are responsible. I bet many of Lifetime's loyal watchers are wives, moms, sisters and friends of a divorced father. Army Wives is one of Lifetime's strongest shows. I am a fan of that show, and an army wife. Many military families are part of a blended familly, and so is mine. If Lifetime airs Deadbeat Dads, it should think long and hard on how that would affect their existing viewer base. It is unfair and biased programming focusing only on the small percentage of men who are irresponsible parents. There are children at stake here. Parents and step-parents work so hard to create a safe environment for their children, not just physically but emotionally as well. There is so much effort put into clarifying changing roles, creating routines and stability, providing for the child or children in a way that does not stress the child. All of that is happening in millions of homes all over America and Lifetime stands to reverse so much of that work by impacting the public perception of broken families (or blended or step or whatever term suits you). We all know the power of TV to mold public perception. Just, don't do it, Lifetime. It's not a good idea.
UNFAIR TO THE FATHERS????? Oh My GOODNESS!!! Protesters of this show, maybe you should pay our support then!!! This FAMOUSE PEOPLE WHO ARE PROTESTING ~~Their kids are going to bed hungry, while your living in your million dollar homes.
******Economic Crisis******** ~ WELCOME TO THE STRUGGLING SINGLES MOTHER'S WORLD!! We were struggling before this crisis, what do you think we are going through now!!!! WAKE UP PEOPLE!! These men need to be exposed for what they are!!!! DEAD BEAT DADS. OH IF THIS SHOW DOESN"T GO ON ~ Keep an eye out on youtube ~ Struggling Single Mothers ~ I won't leave this one alone until the laws change, and these men take respondsibility. I have a huge mouth&I am so very passionate about this
VERY SERIOUS ISSUE
I WANT TO BE ON THIS SHOW!!! I Think This Show Is The Best Reality T.V. Yet!! Expose this men, who won't take respondsibility for what they owe!!! I have some awesome ideas how they can be held accountable.
For the past 20 years I have been battling with the Department of Revenue to get some of the $112,000.00 that I am owed. I work two jobs / 7 days a week to provide for my children. I go without eating so my kids won't starve. I wear hand me downs, so my children will have new&don't feel less than at school. I gave my exhusband the option to be a father to his children, verses paying his support. NOPE ~ he hasn't seen his kids in months. His gay brother supports him, while he is living in his new house. We are about to be evicted again, because I CAN NOT pay my bills on their due date, that is my only financial goal ~ bottom line ~ pay bills on their due date ~ I have contacted the Governor's office, which I was revered to one of the excutives with the DOR. I was to the Salvation Army or Goodwill for help. Why am I going to go beg for money, when I am owed over a hundred thousand dollars.
The harm has already been done the children have suffered enough, because the Deadbeats are out smarting the entire Judicial System. I have watched my own son suffer, because his father does not love him. If the Deadbeat loved then he would care if his son had 3 meals a day. He would care if his son had a roof over his head, and obviously he does not care. The only thing a Deadbeat cares about is his damn boose.
Deadbeats don't care about their children, that is why they work under the table, hide in closets when the authorities are looking for them, and quit their jobs when child support payments are taken directly from their pay checks. I say go get them, humiliate them in front of the entire world. They are nothing more than parasites, sucking the welfare systems dry, because they refuse to live up to their responsibilities. I think that they ought to be put in jail and forced to pay, or they should be shot. One or the other. I want justice. It is time for justice. Where is my justice.
I can not believe how easy it is to get away with not paying your child support in the State of Maine. My son's father now owes over $40,000.00 in back child support, and I feel that this is absolutely absurd. Why isn't he in prison now, isn't it obvious that he has no intention of paying his child support. The most expensive, worthless thing that I own is my child support order. I think that a TV show about Deadbeats is an awsome idea. If the State of Maine refuses to provide any sort of justice, then humiliation is the way to go. Put the Deadbeats of America on a TV reality show and humiliate them in front of millions of American viewers. It is time for justice. Isn't that what America stands for Freedom, Justice and Liberty for all? I for one want justice, as do all of the other custodial parents in America. There is over 67,000 open support enforcement cases in the State of Maine alone. I once spoke with a police sheriff, and he is convinced that there is a Deadbeat epidimic in the State of Maine. How much longer before justice is served? How much longer must the children in the State of Maine suffer?