Underneath the Stars: Weekly Celebrity Astro-Report
Oh, (Leo) Arnold Schwarzenegger … Really?
Jupiter, planet of honesty and exposure, is definitely serving up the scandalous truth serum. This week, it’s come out into the open that the former California governor has fathered a child out of wedlock with a longtime household staff member. Oh, man. And here’s where we must comment on the trouble with the Leo ego. During good times, the Lion is capable of fierce loyalty and filial pride. But when their self-esteem is shaken, the men of this sign can look for validation in the arms of a worshipful woman. Leos Bill Clinton and Mick Jagger are but two of the many examples. There’s also a touch of laziness here. In the wild, the male lion sleeps up to 20 hours a day, while the females keep the show running. Hmmm.
We feel for his wife Maria Shriver (the couple are divorcing) and four kids, spanning in age from 13 to 21. As a Scorpio, Shriver will be hit especially hard by this betrayal. Scorpios occasionally forgive, but they never forget. Sorry, Arnold … you WON’T “be back.” Although Shriver will probably keep her emotions largely private, we hope she finds a nice Cancer man to marry, or maybe a fellow Scorpio.
Demi Lovato (Leo): From Treatment to … a Bikini Shoot?
In other “heaven help us” Leo news, Disney star Demi Lovato “reveals her bikini body” on Twitter with a photo of herself taken by cell phone. ”I’ve been working so hard to get healthy and fit,” she tweeted. “I can’t believe I’m about to [post] this but I’m so excited … Here’s my bikini time body!” This follows her recent release from a treatment center for anorexia, bulimia and cutting. Wha-WHAT?
OK, climbing on our Sagittarius soapbox now: Is this REALLY a sign of recovery, if she’s still focused on gaining approval for her looks and barely-dressed bod? No, Demi, NO! Leos are especially prone to the Hollywood pressures, because they tend to be image-conscious (and often curvy, like Leo Jennifer Lopez). We hope that Jupiter’s move into Demi’s stabilizing 10th house on June 4 will help her draw confidence from her talents instead.
Can Kirstie Alley (Capricorn) Win “Dancing With the Stars”?
“American Idol” lost its Capricorn contender last week when viewers sent James Durbin (our celebrity semi-crush) home. This week, Kirstie Alley is one of two stars left standing in her ballroom dancing shoes. Can she and partner Maksim, also a Capricorn, win this thing? The stars say yes. With four planets in Taurus, their fifth house of theater, dance and fame, they stand a serious chance!
Teresa Giudice (Taurus): Out of Control?
Is this the RHONJ or “Jersey Shore”? Hotheaded housewife Snooki — er, Teresa — a bullish Taurus, was caught in the midst of another smackdown on the season premiere. This time, it was at her brother’s christening event. Location, location, location! It’s been quite a temperamental and tough year for Teresa, who filed bankruptcy and fielded rumors of her husband’s infidelity. We chalk it up to Jupiter’s visit to her 12th house of “self-undoing.” On June 4, Jupiter moves into Taurus. This would be a good time for Teresa to do some serious image-repair work and reinvention.
Miranda Lambert (Scorpio) & Blake Shelton (Gemini) Marry
The country couple has tied the knot. Are they a match made in heaven? Yes and no. While Scorpio and Gemini are very different signs (Scorpio is Water, Gemini is Air), these two can form a surprising match. They’re different enough to provide the mystery that both signs crave. They both tend to have razor-sharp wits too, keeping each other on their intellectual toes. Scorpio is often the one sign that can get a Gemini to commit. In the angle formed between their signs, Gemini is of service to Scorpio, while Scorpio is wildly attracted to Gemini. Best of luck to the newlyweds!