Mysterious Scorpio rules our shadowy impulses, secrets and the parts of our psyches that remain hidden. This week, the Sun and Mercury (planet of communication) both moved into Scorpio, joining love planet Venus, which is in low-power retrograde mode. Translation: more tabloids dotted with breakups, cheating, surprise announcements and shocking tales of “celebs gone wild.”

This week, Virgo Charlie Sheen was caught drunk and naked in a New York City hotel-room bust, and then escorted to the hospital by ex-wife Denise Richards. Across the Hudson River, New Jersey Housewife Teresa Giudice (a Taurus) is confronting rumors of hubby Joe’s infidelity once again. Stage-father Virgo Billy Ray Cyrus filed for divorce from his wife of 17 years. (We can only hope that Miley doesn’t mimic her fellow Sagittarian Britney Spears' meltdown, which followed her parents’ split. She’s already growing up too fast.) And reports are now surfacing that Justin Timberlake cheated on long-time sweetheart Jessica Biel with actress Olivia Munn this past September.

Fortunately, Scorpio energy isn’t ALL dark and turbulent. In happier news, Aries Mariah Carey and Libra hubby Nick Cannon finally confessed that she’s pregnant (um...duh?). Still, it was a well-timed press move. Way to work this Scorpio planetary lineup, Mimi. Scorpio Katy Perry just wed Gemini Russell Brand in India, a spiritual and Scorpionic setting if there ever was one. Wisely, they’re not spilling details to the tabloids yet. Maybe they’ve inked a multimillion-dollar deal to sell their pics exclusively to a magazine? Scorpio rules wealth and endorsement deals, so they’d be wise to set up a bidding war!

Scorpio and its ruler Pluto (god of the underworld) dig up what’s been buried in the trenches. Chances are we can expect more seamy and embarrassing details to emerge between now and Thanksgiving. Who’s next in the hot seat? Clearly, our favorite stars don’t all have the coping skills needed to deal with fame, commitment and long-term relationships. Maybe it’s time to call in Dr. Drew for an overall life rehab?

Check out your weekly love horoscope or find out how compatible you are with the celebrities!